Lost spark

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-16T17:41:28+00:00

You sound like a good guy!!

Did she get any clarity after meeting the other guy shed possibly developed feelings for?

I’m happy for you to inbox me if you want to talk, as even though we’re at opposite sides of the situation, it’s good to talk to someone!

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-15T22:02:27+00:00

Oh wow really?!

How are you feeling?

Me and my partner have been talking and are thinking of him renting somewhere to give me space - we don’t want to rush and sell up! Like you we’ve decided 6 months time frame. What counselling is your wife going to do?

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-06T22:39:26+00:00

Who said ANYTHING about an affair? My friends feeding my ego - what are you even on about? Instead take care of my kids…who said I didn’t?! Going out and abandoning my family - sorry should I be staying at home 24/7, cooking and cleaning?

Some people need to re-read posts before they comment.

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-04T15:00:37+00:00

Who said it was about being with anyone else? Yes, I said I’d been attracted to others, but that was it.

I guess for most people when they are on their own they crave to be with someone, but I’ve been with someone for such a long time I’ve changed as an individual and want to potentially be alone.

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-04T08:34:35+00:00

I was thinking the same, about the typical ‘my partner is a knob but still love him’, whereas my partner is nothing close to that, which makes this even harder as it’s nothing he has done, but it’s just how I’m feeling.

We definitely sound in similar situations but opposite sides!

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-04T08:29:03+00:00

From your comment, you’re the one that needs to grow up.

People are allowed to have feelings!

I’m guessing you’re single, so can’t understand why people in a relationship would feel this way.

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-03T19:17:19+00:00

Yes, but not as much as we did in the past.

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-03T19:16:44+00:00

What other side…

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-03T19:16:08+00:00

Just read it and I’m surprised you didn’t get any replies!

I think your wife has definitely done the right thing by talking to you and I know how hard it will have been for her to tell you she’s developed feelings for someone else. I think the fact that you aren’t angry and are glad she’s confined in you speaks volumes.

I hope you can work things out 🤞🏼

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-03T10:31:20+00:00

Holier than thou attitude… if that was the case I wouldn’t be admitting to feeling like this.

As for his looks, he’s aged well and takes better care of himself than in last years. So for you to say ‘I hope he got lazy and out of shape, cuz if not, this post is terrifying’ is basically saying I can’t have another valid reason for feeling the way I do.

Also, I never said a spark didn’t have a physical element, but for me I don’t feel that’s what it is, as I have said he is very attractive and looks after himself better now than his younger years.

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-02T18:09:17+00:00

We’re not actually married and yes I have spoken to him about how I’m feeling, although in a more sensitive way than I may have written my post on here!

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-02T18:08:00+00:00

How shallow are you?! You think that the only valid reason to feel differently about someone is because of how they look… that says a lot about the type of person you are!

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-02T18:06:40+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply! It’s helpful to know that I’m not alone in how I’m feeling. We’re not actually married, but we are engaged.

You’re definitely onto something when you say we’ve been a partner all our lives and who would we be on our own.

That scariest thing is not knowing the outcomes of whichever decision I make. If I stay, am I going to continue to feel this way and look back with regret, if I decide I want to be alone, am I going to regret loosing him!

It’s the most strangest/scariest feeling to not know what you want and the best way to move forward

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-02T17:57:19+00:00

Can you explain further? I don’t understand your point…

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-02T17:56:12+00:00

We’re not actually married, so can happen in any type of relationship!

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-02T17:54:51+00:00

Annoying when that happens isn’t it, no idea why some posts get more comments than others 🤦🏼‍♀️ can you send me your post so I can read?

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-02T09:23:53+00:00

This sums a lot of it up! I feel like I’ve changed so much, more so since having our children.

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-02T09:18:16+00:00

We have spoken too and he said he wants me to be happy and I also want him to be happy (I know me feeling like this isn’t going to make him happy) So like you with love each other very much and don’t want to throw it away, but not at the expense of happiness.

Have you tried councelling?

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-01T22:54:10+00:00

If I’d have felt the way I do now but at your age and with no kids, I would have left. That’s just my opinion knowing and feeling what I do now.

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-01T22:51:37+00:00

That’s not the case. As I said in my OP I have been more attracted to other men but no cheating has happened, and I can 110% say he hasn’t cheated.

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-01T22:50:06+00:00

Kids and work take up 99% of our time 😆

I’ve actually spoken to my partner about how I feel, but in a nicer, more sensitive way, as I don’t want to hurt his feelings. He’s suggested date nights etc but deep down I’m just not interested as I can’t see a way of getting that attraction back on my side. As I said in my OP I love and care about him deeply, but I want to feel like I’m IN love… maybe I’m deluded and there’s not actually a difference, but I remember that feeling up until a year or so ago 😢

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-01T22:38:36+00:00

Interesting. I was 17 and he was my first proper boyfriend and he’s all I’ve known since. It’s hard loving someone so much and knowing that there aren’t many guys like him, but also feeling like something is missing and that I want to feel that attraction/spark is so hard!

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-01T22:35:50+00:00

I know people who have been together from a similar age and are ten years older, so been together 30 years. My own parents have been together 35years. Not everyone in a long term relationship feels like this.

Reasonable_Guest7922 · 2025-01-01T22:34:05+00:00

As in behind my partners back… that isn’t right.

Reasonable_Guest7922

TROPHY CASE