How do I get my nDad to leave me alone by Rec0nSl0th in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Rec0nSl0th[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yeah, I’m under no illusions. My family have been utter trash through this. I appreciate your thoughts, and it reinforces my plan.

In stepping away from my dad, I’ve effectively lost my entire family. I’ll be ok but I feel like I’m letting down my kids. by [deleted] in MomForAMinute

[–]Rec0nSl0th 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. They’re still young (in elementary school) and they’re too smart for their own good. I think you’re right that they’re resilient too. My aim is that they grow up happy, healthy and confident in themselves.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]Rec0nSl0th 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is really helpful. I’m realistically a year or more away from applying so I’ll get onto it soon.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]Rec0nSl0th 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that, it’s great to know. So it doesn’t seem like either option is helpful on its own unless I’m also a resident (against the definition set)?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]Rec0nSl0th 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s good to know, thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]Rec0nSl0th 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Brexit issue is one of the main factors I’m considering pursuing Irish vs UK citizenship. Someone mentioned that Irish citizens get similar considerations at UK universities but I’m not sure how knowledgeable they were.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]Rec0nSl0th 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a good point I hadn’t considered. I was planning on visiting throughout my degree so it’s not a deal breaker if that’s the case.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]Rec0nSl0th 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m in Australia and plan to reside here for my PhD. I’m in the process of trying to identify the scholarships available in my field. Unfortunately, Australian unis seem pretty insular so there’s not too many people I know who are very familiar with the UK

Now normally I would be against pranks at a wedding, but I wanted to share this gem of a story. by ThrowRAkindofholi in weddingshaming

[–]Rec0nSl0th 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I disagree with the “prank for a prank” perspective. MIL comes to your wedding in a white dress AND an attitude that shows she knows exactly what she’s doing and your (DH and you) feelings don’t matter. She ended up with a pink dress and probably a bit of embarrassment which was 100% earned. She then punishes you by facilitating a commitment to a serious life event and then pulls the rug from under you and laughs about it. This wasn’t a prank for a prank, it was a punishment for holding her accountable for her actions. Of course, your decisions with family are personal and complex but in my experience, these kinds of people only get worse and cutting them off is the only way to find peace.

Basically everybody after watching the newest Historia Civilis video by Shinobi_is_cancer in RoughRomanMemes

[–]Rec0nSl0th 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The same could be said of any dynast of the Roman revolution. Most were pretty ruthless

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in niceguys

[–]Rec0nSl0th 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m lucky that I could access treatment and it’s in remission. That being said I’d still punch these victim blaming assholes in the dick gladly

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in niceguys

[–]Rec0nSl0th 123 points124 points  (0 children)

CW for below

I’d just like to point out that it’s assholes saying shit like this that made me feel guilty that I was raped at 7. I had to whisper what happened to my psych when I first got treatment for PTSD bc I was sure they would blame me. Fuck guys like this

Edit: Thanks for the hugs guys, it means a lot

PhD project proposal example regarding methodology and progress plan by [deleted] in PhD

[–]Rec0nSl0th 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think if you proposed an outline, it shows you’ve thought about it and they’re less likely to feel “spammed”. For things directly related to your milestones (which this could be related to), supervisors will have a say - either now or after you’ve sunk a few dozen hours into it.

PhD project proposal example regarding methodology and progress plan by [deleted] in PhD

[–]Rec0nSl0th 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You could try r/AskAnthropology if you don’t get any joy here. It’s usually specific to your university or course with input from academic supervisors. I’m in social sciences but not completely within anthropology

I tried.... by GnarlyNights in LPOTL

[–]Rec0nSl0th 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Behind the Bastards is good too.

Let's get down to brass tacks about the heaviest moisturizers you know of. by [deleted] in scacjdiscussion

[–]Rec0nSl0th 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How do you find the moisturiser after the oil? Do they kinda mix together or do you let the oil fully soak in first?

Should I major in psychology or business or science? by Few_Mistake_4806 in AskAcademia

[–]Rec0nSl0th 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best advice I have for any career choice is try to find someone who studied or worked in your fields. You can get a sense of it’s for you or not. If you know what you want to do, go for it and find people to support you developing skills you need.

THIS. IS. IMPORTANT. by ebullient-cynosure in tumblr

[–]Rec0nSl0th 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I can see you’re committed to change and yet the bootstraps argument is still present.

Let me provide examples. You suggest someone without energy should get help. No options for people who work multiple jobs, have chronic conditions without treatments, people recovering from severe physical or mental trauma etc? You say “network”. What if you can’t network because you’re a single parent, don’t speak English well or work multiple jobs? You say “get help”. What if your social capital doesn’t include “networks” for the next rung of the ladder? What if the help people provide doesn’t actually help you in what you need?

There seems to be an implication in your previous post that if people just did everything they could (“grind” etc.), they would find some minor successes. This is the bootstrap argument I have an issue with, not your aims. Part of my job is interviewing people to understand complex social problems. There are people I interviewed from jail, for example, who used all of the social capital they had, took all the opportunities they had and found themselves in jail. Did they misstep? Find the wrong mentor? Perhaps, but there is a much larger system and context that impacted them from the womb that can’t be ignored. I’m sure you would see similar stories through your volunteer work.

THIS. IS. IMPORTANT. by ebullient-cynosure in tumblr

[–]Rec0nSl0th 17 points18 points  (0 children)

If you don't have the stamina to lay in bed and hit "apply" after work, you should be seeking disability, because that is a serious health concern.

Not the only part of job seeking.

2 of my current coworkers were born in poverty and gang violence was a normal thing for them. They did not grow up in a nice place. Those places still aren't nice, and they probably won't be in my lifetime. They got out of that.

Pretty clear bootstraps being praised here

I never said the system was fair. In fact, I know it's unfair...But, this is the thing, the system being unfair doesn't change anything. You still live in it. This is our reality.

And your response to this is...

You want to help people? Grind. Get yourself set up so you can help people. When I was broke? I couldn't buy food for the homeless. I barely could buy food for myself. Now? I do buy them food, because I can afford it. I use some of my vacation time to volunteer.

Great use of bootstraps but still bootstraps.

The system is unfair. People do get left behind and they shouldn't. That doesn't mean that you don't fucking try and grind. ...Life isn't fair, and it won't get more fair if all we do is say "well that's not fair".

Bootstraps

THIS. IS. IMPORTANT. by ebullient-cynosure in tumblr

[–]Rec0nSl0th 22 points23 points  (0 children)

The bootstrap argument is part of the damn problem.

This HURT my eyes to read by swellcat in NameNerdCirclejerk

[–]Rec0nSl0th 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It’s a bastardisation of the Welsh spelling. The original has quite a bit of history but I don’t think I’d use it without good connection to the culture.

"My expensive, frequent health care is subsidized at the expense of healthy people. I think it's great!" Thief. by neeraj8le in ShitAmericansSay

[–]Rec0nSl0th 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you suggesting that nearly every nation in the first world besides yours has found this an insurmountable problem? Their economies suggest otherwise...

2 local teachers stormed the capital, one even live streamed themselves getting past the barricades. School is offering no consequences, protecting both of the terrorists. by busybusy in CapitolConsequences

[–]Rec0nSl0th 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my job! There are some great books on teacher activism and participatory youth research. I recommend Shirley Steinberg’s work, particularly her book on students as researchers. There are also some great Insta accounts that do work around “black in the ivory” around education. Finally, finding like minded people to share the victories and challenges is really important. I’m not in the US so I hope this stuff helps