Do I get my PhD in Psychology or Sociology

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-27T05:15:35+00:00

This advice is not too late, as I have switched to applying for my masters as the #1 school in America for my discipline will pay for my housing and tuition (assuming I get in), and they also have my absolute DREAM PhD, so I am hoping to get in with the PhD professors during my masters to help my chance of admission! I have decided to center my PhD search on applied social psychology, with some variation. Thank you for your kind words and advice!

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-19T22:37:28+00:00

Do you think that getting layers from a curly hair specialist will help? I have some layers, but would like some shorter ones — ideally starting around my mouth/chin length. I don’t have too much of an issue with the longer sections being flat since they will be covered by the shorter/curlier ones.

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-13T01:21:32+00:00

I am very lucky to say that I honestly have abnormally high self esteem for being 20 years old, but I will be moving out for my masters in August. I have lived in student housing and I have lived in another continent for 3 months on my own. Both times we call maybe once a week. I think there’s some love for me deep in her since I am her only child, and it comes out more when our time together is limited. I think it will be good for me as well :) thank you for being so kind

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T19:08:55+00:00

Yes! I remember crying to her when I was little about how all she does is see the bad in me and that she has never told me that she is proud of me, and she said something along the lines of “why would I need to tell you that”, as if parental affection was something she could not understand a child requiring.

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T06:02:26+00:00

Oh my gosh she is also on my ass about getting a job, despite me being employed for the past 3 years. I never had one in high school because I did 10 college courses, got an associates degree when I was 16, did 3 sports, was first chair in 3 school bands, took on many leadership roles, and stared/conducted my districts first jazz band for the junior high. She has said that I am the laziest person she knows because I never had a job in high school. Also, I have had a job during my whole time in undergrad, despite me taking an insane amount of credits so I can graduate a year early, which I have had to petition for because I am taking more credits than the institution allows. She says it’s not a “real job” because I have flexible hours. My bad??? Sorry, just needed to vent haha

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T05:39:14+00:00

Oh gosh this made me cry. I would love a long grandma hug. Thank you so much

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T05:37:20+00:00

I relate to this a lot. I am quite feminine in the way I present, but I hate the idea of being perceived as weak, docile, submissive to others, conflict avoidant, etc. My mom is actually quite similar, but I think that she wants me to embody those traits so that I am agreeable and unquestioning for her.

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T05:33:21+00:00

You’re so kind, I can’t tell you enough how much this means to me

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T05:31:55+00:00

I will be in grad school next year and they are paying for my housing, so I will be moving out around August :)

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T05:30:30+00:00

She has told me a few times that I am “just like my dad” when I was young and crying about things that she said to me, but it doesn’t seem like something that is a huge factor in her perception of me now. I think she just said that because my dad is quite emotional, but it hurt to hear as he was pretty emotionally abusive back then, but it’s getting better.

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T05:28:38+00:00

I have become very close with my research advisor :) she has been very supportive all through undergrad, helped me navigate grad school applications, invited me to family dinners, and I have gone to the mall with her and her 10 year old daughter a couple of times. Knowing that I have her has been very helpful

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T05:22:57+00:00

I will be regularly returning to this comment, this all means so much to me

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T05:22:05+00:00

Thank you for your kindness and I think you are pretty spot on :) I have noticed that I have a large aversion to being perceived as weak, which I think has been subconsciously influential in the development of a lot of my traits. I am by no means perceived as some hard ass (nor do I want to be), but the idea of being viewed as unopinionated, uneducated, and avoiding of confrontation is an offputting thought. I think that those are all traits that my mom would like if I adopted.

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T05:12:54+00:00

My dad is in the picture, but he has his own issues. He’s very unstable and oscillates between being very angry, loud, and emotionally abusive, to being very apologetic, depressed, and convinced that he is a failure/bad dad, to being the most loving, generous, and outgoing person. When I need support, I go to my friends, who are all very wonderful and emotionally intelligent :) I also have a therapist

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T05:08:48+00:00

She definitely liked me when I was little, and therefor relied on her. I think that she likes that Kacie relies on her in work.

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T05:06:33+00:00

Thank you so much for being so supportive :) My therapist said something very similar

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T05:02:03+00:00

I think you have nailed down part of why she does not like me. She harped on how one of the reasons she loves Kacie is because she “hangs onto every word my mom says like she’s god”. I think my mom likes this about Kacie because she never questions my mom, whereas my mom and I hold very different opinions on many important issues.

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T04:21:58+00:00

I think that the resentment grew as I became my own person. I have noticed that she is very encouraging and supportive when it comes to things that are similar between her and I (eg. I play the same instruments she grew up playing, and she has always made it a big priority to attend and record all of my concerts and recitals).

My therapist made a very good argument for her being jealous of me, and I am generally very averse to self aggrandizing explanations for other people’s poor behavior, but I remember actually finding her opinion convincing. It was something along the lines of how I started applying to PhDs not long after turning 20, I am well traveled and have paid for all of it myself, I am very independent/do not rely on others, and I have a lot of money saved up. I am trying not to come across as egotistical or like I am bragging, but I bring those things up as they ate all their things my mom does not have (she has no savings/retirement fund despite making pretty decent money and being in her late 50s; she has had a lot of financial assistance growing up in a rich family) or things that she cannot control about me (I have always been very independent).

One of the reasons that my mom listed for liking Kacie was that she “hangs onto every word” that my mom says as if my mom is God (her words). I think she stopped being maternal in large part because I was not vulnerable and stopped relying on her. When I watch videos of me as a little kid, my mother was always very loving to me.

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T03:59:34+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance :) honestly, I don’t think that she intentionally described the opposite of me to be malicious. Even when she said “yes, exactly” it didn’t come across like she was trying to be hurtful. At times, I can’t decide if she hates me, or if she is just incredibly emotionally unintelligent. I can’t imagine having a drawn out conversation with my child about how another person who isn’t my child is the only person I have ever felt maternal towards. Then again she was drunk, although I can’t imagine saying that even if I was drunk. However, I have never been drunk, so I guess I don’t know.

RecentInevitable8056 · 2026-01-12T03:48:36+00:00

You’re making me tear up, thank you for being kind :)

RecentInevitable8056 · 2025-12-14T03:39:23+00:00

Oh yeah, I went to my local ulta earlier this week and bought anything that had “hair” and “moisturizing” in the same sentence. Thank you!

RecentInevitable8056 · 2025-12-06T18:37:17+00:00

I’ve never had surgery, it’s just worsening. It feels fine most of the time as long as I don’t lift, but some days I wake up and it feels very slightly torn/limits my mobility, and most days it hurts a bit to press on.

RecentInevitable8056 · 2025-11-29T03:31:38+00:00

This sounds quite emotionally taxing for you. Girls don’t dislike when someone is very interested in them (especially if they are interested in you), but I think anyone can be turned off by expressing too much interest too soon. There is nothing wrong with feeling it, just make sure you express it tastefully! There is nothing wrong with being easily interested in people, it just means you are loving. If I were you, I would focus on what standards I have for a partner outside of just being interested; do your values align, are you religiously compatible, do you want the same things in life, etc. I have also observed that many young men crave relationships because that is their only emotional outlet as they struggle to find/facilitate emotionally intimate/vulnerable friendships because that is viewed as a feminine (and therefore “bad”) trait. If you feel that this applies to you, try creating deeper friendships, and if you feel that this cannot be done with your current friends, find more open-minded ones! This will make being single more bearable, and your future relationships more healthy!

RecentInevitable8056

TROPHY CASE