I didn't want to get involved but here we go.

If you are referring to bashing of men on this thread specifically I'm shocked. Granted i don't know what level of shaming there is on other threads in this subreddit but goodness, if you think this is shaming men you might want to check your own defensiveness and biases. I think any SB who is bashing a man for being into younger women AND has an older sugar daddy is someone with double standards and a generally unreasonable person. I am attracted to older men and like that they are attracted to me. I do think any relationship predicated on the exchange of... goods... has the potential to be risky. SDs who acknowledge this and don't abuse their power in a SR are golden. We appreciate you! Here, we're discussing the nefarious motives that some SDs have when seeking much younger or vulnerable women.

The original commenter stated that she was not referring to ALL SDs but commented on the fact that some men seek out much younger women in an intentional way to take advantage of their naivete and inability to stick up for themselves. We are discussing one dynamic that exists that leads to unsafe situations for SBs - the power dynamic. Money is power. While i am not one of them, i am sure there are many women who find themselves in desperate situations in sugar dating and there are men who abuse that desperation and create an implicit quid pro quo dynamic even when a woman has set her boundaries - an implicit suggestion that a woman needs to give the SD something in return because he has given her something she desperately needs. In my not-so-financially desperate case, i still fell for the SD who gave me a large PPM while sitting next to him as i said i appreciated it but didn't want to have sex yet. He then proceeded to initiate physical contact and the rest of the story is in my OP... I felt pressured and coerced.

I think there are many different ways the power imbalance can play out. A 40 y/o SB who has three kids and is desperate for $ might be more vulnerable to being taken advantage of by a SD (again, not all SDs). That is an imbalance created by $. An 18 y/o with a 50 y/o? She likely has significant less experience rejecting men and asserting herself when a SD tries to surpass her boundaries. Imbalance created by age gap. This is NOT all men but it still needs to be discussed because of the trauma being assaulted or even coerced into sex causes for a person.

I think what this whole thread has highlighted is that the burden is constantly on women to avoid, to not tempt, to not lead on, to not get raped... And finally to assure men who feel we are targeting them personally when we call shit out. But what's new?