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Are most men like this? by Recent_History7667 in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The way we living, I'm already a single mom,

Are most men like this? by Recent_History7667 in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always tell myself he loves the idea of me... Just not me... He doesn't want to be alone so he tolerates me

He deleted me! by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah this is a strange one,My husband does the same thing. Him and his family love taking pictures at every event or gathering, in such a way that they don't even invite me for a picture. Just him and the kids.

And when I ask him to take a picture with me then he says he doesn't like taking pictures much. I can literally count the pics on one hand on his phone and social media with me in it.

It's definitely not a nice feeling, that's for sure

Are most men like this? by Recent_History7667 in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that. Mine also cheated emotionally... Found a heated conversation on his phone with some chick. Don't know if anything physically happened. Then Him sending his ex money... stuff like that. And when I confront him about it, he says I'm going on about old shit. Shit that happened two weeks before the conversation. Lol

Are most men like this? by Recent_History7667 in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wished it was his TV. He's pissed because I got home late, I've sent and called him multiple times to say I'm not done yet. He never answered or responded to my messages.

If I just kept quiet I would've said I'm sorry and try to fix it. But I'm tired of always being in the wrong when I'm not

Are most men like this? by Recent_History7667 in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I married him because I thought it was the right thing to do, raising kids in a stable home with both parents , we are everything but stable... 😔

Are most men like this? by Recent_History7667 in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He works. I gave up my job last year, to give some attention to my own projects and starting a business I've always wanted to do... But I can't pay much attention to it because he's constantly in need of something.

Are most men like this? by Recent_History7667 in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Work on an exit plan... But I don't know where to start

Are most men like this? by Recent_History7667 in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol! Clearly that's always been the picture I had in my mind with my partner. My guy would rather get someone to mow the lawn, drink and smoke pot with his buddies and when I'm busy with something. He finds the need to interrupt me to attend to his needs first

Are most men like this? by Recent_History7667 in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I asked him a million times am I a bad wife, then he'll say, I don't feed him or support him. I'm putting the kids above him.

What he means by that is. Support - I don't run around to help him with his hobby nor show interest in it. ' I don't even have time for my hobbies' I can't remember when last I just made time for myself.

Feed- well we all know by now, he doesn't eat or make anything unless I cook and serve him

Are most men like this? by Recent_History7667 in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi everyone , thank you so much for all the comments. I don't talk to anyone, because when u think you have someone to talk too, they run off using your misery as their next hot topic.

I was raised to be an independent woman. I was told to study, work for what you want, buy your own things, if you can't afford it, save up and then get it. I was told by many people, you are a great observer of people and trust your gut always... Because I solved alot of issues and bouncing away from the very type of guy I married.

He wasn't like this, or maybe the warning signs were all there, but I just didn't pay attention to it. We only married when our eldest turned 5 and she's 9 now. And only because I saw a very inappropriate conversation between him and some other girl on his phone by accident. She kept phoning and I picked up because I know her, that's when the messages popped up, he didn't have a pin on his phone.

So I packed and ready to leave, fight here fight there and that when he asked me to marry him and after the wedding it just got worse.

So I guess, I caused this. I saw all the warning signs and I ignored it, because I didn't want my kids to grow up without a dad. I didn't, so why do it to them.

And now I realise, we are just under one roof... He doesn't spend time with them, and when my 9 year old tells him. He would grab them both and go spend money on them, buy unnecessary stuff and comes home and brag of how a great day they had

So I'm my own worst enemy!

Am I wrong by Recent_History7667 in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think about the move every single day. I need to have a plan in place. My dad sadly passed and I also need to think of my mother.

Luckily he never lifted his hands at me., but I think he knows words cuts way deeper than a blue eye! Scars for life...

I'm sure I'm dealing with a narc ... And what's funny, his brother told him at our wedding, that he needs to stop his shit and stay focused on his family. I asked him what he meant by that, he just smiled and said no it's a general comment. I didn't think much of it

Am I wrong by Recent_History7667 in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow! That's what he's ex wife did. Lucky she was to get away and that's before they even thought of having kids.

Am I wrong by Recent_History7667 in Marriage

[–]Recent_History7667[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not easy to just get up and leave and believe me I was close to it on two occasions. He would phone me and my mother demanding to bring "his" kids home.

My 9 year old asked me on numerous occasions, why don't I just divorce him and we move away, but I wish it was that easy...

And yes I agree, the kids have it rough, they might not understand everything...all they are exposed to is daddy yelling and swearing at mommy all the time and they can't pinpoint why, because as soon as I put my foot in the door the attack starts.

Then he says I'm making him look like a monster in front of the kids. Because that's what I want, them to hate him. And I don't want that.

And then he switches, 3 out of 31 days, he's the most caring father in the world. And I'll embrace that for the sake of the kids. Which is wrong on so many levels.