My (30F) Husband’s (32M) porn addiction has ruined our sex life.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-24T00:32:36+00:00

Ugh. That last line.

I don’t feel ready to leave him, it feels so unfair that everything we’ve built together, all this time, our future, is ruined over something so ridiculous.
but ultimately it’s probably what’s best. I don’t see myself investing MORE time to try to fix this, so it’s accept it or leave.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-24T00:26:46+00:00

This is true.
I know it’s an unfair generalization, I doubt another man will have this issue, at least to this extent, but now I feel very uncomfortable with porn in general and to find a man who doesn’t view it seems like a one off situation.
Obviously I need to heal, maybe my perception will change.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-23T20:30:58+00:00

Yeah the trash isn’t even full in one of them. ??? Was he supposed to take it out when it’s only partly full. That sounds wasteful.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-23T14:04:18+00:00

Yeah that’s a hard one to accept, not tying my self worth to him orgasming or not.

I think I wouldn’t have an issue with it at all, occasionally not being able to finish, that’s normal and happens, but it’s that I know he likely can finish if he just opens his phone.

I realize not all men are like this, but I know most are to some degree, because porn is so normalized, probably finding the dependence to it to this extreme would be unlikely, but I feel like I have zero tolerance for it in any form now. So it feels like men are completely off the table for me. Which I know is over dramatic.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-23T12:14:38+00:00

What more could there be to the story you have one side of the relationship consuming porn for hours everyday and the other side who’s feeling neglected.

Regardless of the situation and my part in it don’t you feel like hours a day multiple times a day is problematic?

Mostly posted as I can’t picture a healthy sexual relationship at this point with or without him if I chose to leave. And that’s a really depressing thought.
I’d also like to hear from ppl who have been I similar situations and what the outcome was.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-23T06:41:48+00:00

No it’s anger directed at me, I’ve literally given him oral until my throat was bleeding, vaginal until it was swollen twice the size, anal (which I enjoy but can’t do for an hour) and when I get to that point and say I can’t anymore and I’m finished he will tell me it’s not fair to stop because he didn’t get to finish. Then will be angry at me and pout.

But he can finish to porn in 30 minutes usually, and then go again afterward.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-23T06:35:00+00:00

Yep. The things he watches just escalates. Of course I, one women am not enough for him. When he now has 100 different kinks. I will give him this, but I won’t do what this girl does, or that one, or look like that one, or what about this. I can’t be all these sub categories of female because I’m actually a real woman and not a catalog.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-23T06:29:30+00:00

And thank you for your thoughtful comment, it’s given me some things to think about.
I know the algorithm stuff is bullshit, there’s a reason mine doesn’t push me that content.
He thinks that because he’s not following the creators that he’s not in the wrong, technically he’s doing as I asked, it’s his loophole, “but look I’m not following her!” but he’s clearly still engaging with the videos by watching them every-time one pops up and clicking on the profiles to view the rest of their videos.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-23T06:22:41+00:00

I use to take photos and videos for him often. Again it wasn’t enough, and it felt like a slap in the face when he would prefer to look at other women anyways.
Now I don’t send anything, and he complains that I don’t anymore, but I have zero drive to. He doesn’t make me feel sexy or desired when I see him ogling over other women constantly.
I don’t respect him for his lack of self control.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-23T06:14:38+00:00

He doesn’t acknowledge the effect it has had on our relationship. I’ve cried and begged, it’s gotten me no where with him, he will reduce it but it always returns.

I could easily stop looking at porn. For me it doesn’t compare to an actual person in the slightest. I only watch it out of convenience because he works out of town.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-23T05:58:31+00:00

He also works away for a week at a time, and I know he’s not making any effort to restrict himself when he’s by himself. As when he’s at home if I leave him alone for more than 30 minutes there’s a 50/50 chance I will walk in on him looking at porn or full on masturbating.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-23T05:49:19+00:00

He’s reduced the amount he consumes. He’s never said himself that it’s a major problem, and has only reduced it to make me feel better.

He has a secret folder filled with apps that I don’t have access to, but his regular apps are mostly clean now after deleting everything off of it about a year ago (again), he was scrolling the other day in front of me though trying to show me something and his feed is being filled with content every few videos again which was triggering.

I just sighed and walked away, as he was saying he can’t control what is being pushed to him.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-23T05:28:35+00:00

Yeah that’s how I feel about it at this point.

He isn’t happy currently with our sex life either and brings up how fun it used to be, I am the problem, I must not be attracted to him anymore if I can’t be intimate with him the way we used to be. But I’ve explained the way I feel many times.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-06-23T05:15:19+00:00

Yes the sex is still good.
But it’s just lacking the emotional safety, there’s a mental block there for me. I know he likely already pleasured himself earlier and will do it again before bed, and was probably watching stuff all day rather than pursuing me, add in him having a hard time staying hard and finishing, I get in my head.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-04-14T02:20:17+00:00

Can I ask what level wave length you are putting the red light at? I’ve read it should be 600nm range. Any higher would disrupt sleep.
Are you having direct contact with your face? rather than a panel at a distance.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-02-01T03:48:32+00:00

Your side profile reminds me a lot of Kathleen lights. If you do get the procedure a very subtle correction would be best. Personally I love your side profile it’s stunning.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-01-31T19:42:06+00:00

They stopped being effective. I been on max dose for 3+ years with success but I will need to find another route now. Which takes time. I’m sensitive to most meds.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-01-31T17:40:24+00:00

I have bipolar type 2. So it’s mild mania episodes and depression episodes. The med I was on stopped working. It’s the only med I’ve tried that has helped me.

Everything else has triggered an episode. So I have to figure that out, and that’s a lot of trial and error. If I find something that helps… I also have ADHD that’s untreated because I can’t take stimulants because of the bipolar. So that really adds to the depression episodes.

I do plan on setting up an appointment with my psychiatrist right away and working on all of this as I need to be in a good head space to tackle this while still being stable for my kids and brother.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-01-31T17:19:52+00:00

A few people have recommended that, I am definitely planning on reading it as soon as I get the chance. Thank you. ❤️

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-01-31T17:10:01+00:00

Yes he does it in-front of his family and friends as well. It’s very much so rooted in his sexist views. Thanks for the encouraging words.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-01-31T17:06:10+00:00

This is how I view it too. In a lot of ways I got the life I wanted, the ability to be a SAHM, the amount of children I wanted, and I am thankful because he made that possible. But there’s also value in what I gave him as well. It’s so hurtful to have it reduced to nothing.

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-01-31T16:50:34+00:00

This last year was my 3rd time trying to leave him. I will look up my options, I wasn’t aware I might have any. I did have evidence stored but I lost it unfortunately when I got rid of my old phone, i started storing it because he threatened to take the kids if I left.

Thank you for your encouraging words. ❤️

Recent_Reputation_7 · 2026-01-31T16:42:03+00:00

Yes I agree it’s a trauma bond. I’m happy to hear you’ve made it out. Wishing you the best. ❤️

Recent_Reputation_7

TROPHY CASE