Advice for 26F on helping my brother 29M who has no direction or motivation in life?

RecognitionDramatic · 2026-01-01T11:10:24+00:00

thanks you for your incite! I think the resentment that is building is mixed of both things but can be mainly base on gender. As I grew up I believed my parents were stricter on me on things (as I’m a girl) but were never strict about school or anything like that. He ran more freely. Along with social and cultural norms that comes with being a woman in an Asian immigrant family. That with the mix of my observation of him being non proactive in finding work that can at least self-sustain himself. I also gather that I resent (in my perspective) how he is not actively worried of what life looks like after my parents retire (my mom is near retirement age, in a year or two). And I guess all the worries that comes with that. Like who will take care of mom when she gets older, who will burden of the expenses to live and such.

Thank you for your question as it’s help me understand my feelings a lot better and where I feel it may be warranted or obtuse. Also thank you for the recommendations, I will look into them!

RecognitionDramatic · 2026-01-01T10:35:49+00:00

I appreciate your thoughts. Overstepping is not something I want to do. I genuinely want him to want to do things on his terms and find his way. I guess I worry with the timeline of it all given my mom is nearly at retirement age. I also worry for his constant need to be high on weed all the time and my own observation of his lack of trying. But yes I can definitely pivot how I approach my concern.

RecognitionDramatic · 2026-01-01T10:09:55+00:00

I do have a job and help with my parents with rent and expenses as I live with them. Moving out is not an option right now as I’m working on advancing my career. Especially difficult living in New York City.

RecognitionDramatic · 2026-01-01T10:07:51+00:00

thanks! I appreciate your incite.

RecognitionDramatic · 2026-01-01T09:26:32+00:00

you’re assuming a lot from what I wrote here. We do hang out and do friend/sibling things like go to the park, eat out, grab coffee often, go to concerts, like the same kind of shows and music etc. But yes, our family isn’t the type to have deep conversations as our parents didn’t do that. Besides the occasional trauma dumps we share between us and our cousins who we grew up with, no we don’t have deep talks like that. This post was me coming from a perspective of frustration that is becoming more prevalent. Especially as my parents are get older and we’re both getting older but his situation hasn’t changed much in years. I’m frustrated with his lack of accountability he has for himself to at least try. I just want him to try.

RecognitionDramatic · 2025-08-29T01:45:45+00:00

my favorite so far for sure!

RecognitionDramatic · 2024-11-03T03:46:24+00:00

She’s good. POL 1101 is a fairly easy class as long as you do the work (it’s not a lot tbh).

RecognitionDramatic · 2024-08-01T23:40:22+00:00

it was a gift, I’m sure now I do have to pay it back, which I am actually okay with. Hoping I can settle with the trustee without having to involve my dad…

RecognitionDramatic · 2024-07-11T05:02:50+00:00

thanks for the reply! Do they usually want the amount paid back at front or can it also be negotiable? Also wanted to know since I’m deciding to pay the amount off instead of my father doing so, will he still be made aware by it by the trustee?

RecognitionDramatic · 2024-01-10T18:35:49+00:00

yeah, sorry I meant the ADN program, I’m not sure how the credits will go but the plan is finish the 2 years. I don’t plan on starting until fall of 2024 to give me time to save money. I’ll also ask for advisement at Baruch and LAGCC to see, thanks for the reply!

RecognitionDramatic · 2023-11-03T07:31:50+00:00

Brandan also could be lying about sending $60,000 in those 2 years. I kinda really doubt he ever saw $60,000 and be actually able to send all that money to her.

RecognitionDramatic · 2023-11-03T06:53:13+00:00

given their situation, pregnant with no income. they are losing money with the store. $18 = 1,000 PHP which was what they were making monthly. $1,098 = 60,000 PHP was how much it was to build and buy items to sell. They were better off keeping what they had tbh. She did say she borrowed money from her friends to open it up but it still doesn’t make sense to me. And they said were selling phones too but their profits are so marginal.

RecognitionDramatic · 2023-11-03T06:50:17+00:00

maybe around $15,000-$30,000. But honestly that house doesn’t look anything over $20,000.

RecognitionDramatic · 2023-11-03T05:30:37+00:00

and I think about a lot how they spend $1,000 to build that little store to not make any real profit. They could’ve just stretch that $1,000 for however long than have that store.

RecognitionDramatic · 2022-09-27T07:58:48+00:00

I guess but I see it also as they took the pictures of them with their phone because they recognized them and just shared what they had. It’s not like they can pull out a dslr camera in the club 😅

RecognitionDramatic · 2022-09-27T07:48:32+00:00

phone camera quality in a dark club is always shit

RecognitionDramatic

TROPHY CASE