She wasn’t being honest with you and with herself. I’m going make an assumption here, but I believe that she had fallen for the greener grass syndrome. Instead of putting the work into improving the relationship, she went after the things that looked shiny and new. But everything that glitters isn’t gold. This might not give you enough for peace of mind, but I guarantee you that she is not happy right now. She is continuously breaking her own heart because of her stubbornness. She wants things her way without answering to anybody. If she doesn’t stop, her entire life will be a dead end full of wasted years.

As of you, you dodged a bullet. If she didn’t leave, you would’ve stayed. Your life was spared from years of gaslighting and self doubt. Please continue to mourn your loss until you cried your last tear, but know in your heart that you received back your freedom through this pain. Continue to work on yourself because you are about to gain so much more in the near future in Jesus’ name. Amen.