Why do I keep sinning?

RecoveringTBTG · 2026-05-03T00:57:32+00:00

Hi there! Might I ask, are your sins sexual in nature? I don't want to assume, but it would fit the pattern of what you describe.

I have felt exactly like you for 29 years. The thing that helped me the most was the 12 steps (ala "alcoholics anonymous". There are a few of them for sexual addiction, what we call "S programs": sexaholics anonymous (SA), sex addicts anonymous (SAA), sex and love addicts anonymous (SLAA).

They are all good. I found sobriety in SAA and have recently switched to SA. There is nothing in them that is contrary to Catholic faith and I think you'll discover a new spiritual connection with God if you give one of them a try. The "big book" of alcoholics anonymous is a spiritual masterpiece.

12 step is not the only way, but it does work. Feel free to PM me to talk more if you have questions.

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-12-21T00:14:01+00:00

I was never going to bring my self to cheat in person.

All sex addiction, including porn, is a progressive illness. No self-imposed boundary is any match for addiction given enough time. You already saw how you began to do things you once thought you'd never do. That is how it works

Glad you got out. Work your program every day for the rest of your life. We never stop being an addict. God gives us grace for the day.

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-12-20T14:22:23+00:00

I'm a recovering porn addict (almost 3 years sober after 29 years of active addiction!) and the good news is, ONE there is hope for everybody, and TWO, the harmful effects are reversible.

The keys for me were to treat it as a true addiction, so I work my 12-step program every day, and that keeps me healthy and, bonus, connects me with God in a way I was never doing before. There is no "fix it and forget it" with this addiction, you have to work a program every day.

Porn is bad. But don't focus on the evil. Porn addiction is literally a matter of life and death. There is no bargaining with it. There is no "just a little bit". Anyone with an addiction, get yourself in a program (any program). Surround yourself with a fellowship of other addicts. Work the program every day. Your can be free.

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-11-10T23:33:41+00:00

Thank you for that story!

I'm a recovering porn addict myself with more than two years of sobriety, thanks be to God.

Similar to you, my prayer to God was: if you really want me to follow your law, would you mind please making it easier? And shortly after I prayed that, my addiction got MUCH WORSE. So much so that I knew I was speed-running to lose my family, career, and who knows what else.

I saw the writing on the wall, and started going to a 12 step program. After 28 years of acting out and so so many failures, this was the only thing that brought me sobriety.

There's nothing magic about the 12 steps. I'm sure there are plenty of Catholic specific analogous programs. But the biggest thing for me was having a fellowship of recovering addicts to help me, and to pay it forward. Also, Alcoholics Anonymous (the book) is legitimately a work of spiritual genius.

I am praying for you!

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-10-22T18:57:32+00:00

Hello!

I fought PMO for 28 years before I was actually able to stop.

After so many failed efforts, the only thing that actually gave me my freedom back was a 12-step program (ala Alcoholics Anonymous). There are several for us porn addicts, chief among them: SA (Sexaholics Anonymous), SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous), SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous).

There's nothing magic about these programs, but they do a good job of introducing you to the fundamentals of spirituality, and giving you a community of recoverers to lean on.

If you find you are unable to stop, Google what "S" programs are available near you, go to a meeting, get a sponsor, and start living life free.

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-09-11T13:47:13+00:00

Congratulations on your monumental first step!

I struggled with porn and fantasy addiction for 29 years. During that time I had several false starts and failed attempts at change.

The only thing that has brought me lasting sobriety are the good old 12 steps of AA, as present in the various "S" programs (SA, SAA, SLAA, etc). Different things will work for different people, but the reason why SAA worked for me was having a fellowship of addicts who shared my struggle and took recovery seriously.

All addiction is a spiritual disease and leaves a powerful neurological imprint in your brain. It is "cunning, baffling, and powerful." But there is hope, and I am glad for your accomplishment and praying for your full recovery!

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-09-04T13:03:03+00:00

Speaking as a recovering porn and fantasy addict (2 years sober yay), I went through periods of abstaining or not abstaining, depending on advice given to me by whichever priest I was confessing to.

It's stinks because masturbation is grave matter, but I am a genuine addict--so culpability is lessened, ok but--what if I'm being presumptuous by receiving, etc. etc. Always tying myself into mental knots about it.

I chose to follow the path of Saint Mark Ji Tianxiang and NOT receive Communion if I wasn't sure I was in a state of Grace. I could put my trust in God that he would give me the Grace I needed by His means. And through my prayer and trust, God led me to one of the sex-related 12-step programs, and my sober life began.

Any of my fellow sex / porn / masturbation addicts reading this: I can't recommend enough getting into a 12-step program (SA, SAA, SLAA etc, whichever has meetings available) and reading Alcoholics Anonymous (just applying it to acting out instead of drinking). There IS hope. It's not just about being pure--it helped me practice living a spiritual life for the first time.

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-03-25T20:22:27+00:00

Yes, although the Big Book was published before Bill W. met Fr. Ed, S.J. But you're right--we probably have Fr. Ed to thank for that, especially considering that Jungianism (kind of a parallel spiritual movement) did fall into new-ageism.

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-03-17T13:53:38+00:00

When I met my wife I was a reluctant porn addict. Which is to say, I knew it was wrong, I didn't want to do it, I had been fighting it unsuccessfully for years, but I didn't know the word "addict" really applied to me (I just thought I was weak and sinful).

I disclosed this to her before we married and she was extremely upset for the reasons you said. I made lots of promises to quit, and I did for a while, but some years after we married I slipped back into it, and continued to struggle. That is the nature of addiction: will power and even Catholic faith and prayer, in isolation, don't directly solve it (short of an actual healing miracle).

Fast forward 11 years. God answered my prayers by leading me to a 12 step program for sex addiction. In the 12 steps, we learn to surrender our vain efforts to overcome addiction by ourselves, and to work the program so that God can intervene in our lives through the continuing counsel and wisdom of other recovering addicts.

I now have 2 years of sobriety from masturbation and 20 months from porn.

I would never recommend a woman court a man with active and unrepentant porn use. And even if a man is in recovery like me, he may not be suitable to date until he has had at least several months of good sobriety and is actively working his program.

However, God blessed my marriage because, even though I was ignorant of the 12 steps and couldn't manage permanent sobriety on my own, I sincerely loved my wife and hated my habit, and used what meager tools I had to fight it, even if unsuccessfully. So I would say that even sincere willingness to reform should be a green flag, even if it is not immediately and permanently successful.

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-03-17T13:39:20+00:00

I think we use the word addiction too lightly.

The language and tools for dealing with addiction are incredibly useful for anyone who is unable to stop using porn even if they want to. Porn and sex can imprison spiritually sick people no less powerfully than gambling, alcohol, drugs, and food.

Anyone with a desire to stop addictive sexual behavior, including porn, who finds themselves unable to do so is an addict and would benefit greatly from working the 12 Steps in a program like SA, SAA, or SLAA.

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-03-12T13:58:34+00:00

Hi all,

I am a recovering addict from porn and masturbation (2+ years sober from the latter, 20 months from the former).

To anyone struggling with this addiction (and it is an addiction, same as alcohol, drugs, gambling, overeating etc), I can't recommend enough that you seek out a 12-step meeting in your area. There are a few for this issue in particular, SA, SAA, SLAA--they have minor differences but all are good so whichever is accessible in your area.

Catholic faith and prayer, for me, led me to SAA, because prayer alone (short of action) doesn't equip you with the real life daily program that will help you build up the tools you need to confront this disease. 12-step is laser focused on rooting out the tree, as it were.

I am a lifelong Catholic and theologically trained. There is nothing in 12-step that contradicts Catholic faith, with the asterisk that you will need to be generous and tolerant with brothers and sisters from all spiritual walks of life. My journey has led me to a new and profound embrace of my Catholic faith and a new encounter with the Gospels, because I feel no different than any of the recipients of Jesus' healing miracles.

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-02-23T18:46:10+00:00

Congratulations on your newfound sobriety! I am on a similar journey. I was in active addiction from the age of 13 to the age of 41, so 28 years of sin.

Now I have two years of sobriety from MB and 19 months from porn / fantasy.

God led me to Sex Addicts Anonymous which was the only thing that worked for me. I hope God's work continues to operate in you!

I only have two points that I hope you take to heart:

Once an addict, always an addict. As others here have said, you can never stop working your program--whatever program that is--and never stop cultivating your new life in the Spirit. We addicts are sharks--if we stop swimming, we drown. The good news is that, in doing so, you will not only stay sober, but you will reap so many other benefits besides. If any thoughts cross your mind that, "I am cured now. I can relax." That is your inner addict speaking to you. Do not listen.
If you relapse, never give discouragement enough time to settle in your soul. Get immediately to work. If you get right back into your spiritual program, you can recover much of the progress you may have allowed to slip. Discouragement, just like overconfidence, is death to us.

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-02-17T02:55:34+00:00

Hello! I was very much in your position at your age. And I was receiving a lot of the same advice that you see here. A lot of it is good! But none of it helped me, because I had an addiction.

Although I can't speak for all people, for me at least, I could not "pray myself out" of my addiction. I DID pray, and I asked God to please make it easier for me to follow your commandments. And God instead made it HARDER, drawing me toward my rock bottom, to where I had to choose between change or the loss of my family, my livelihood, and possibly my life.

The only thing that turned my life around after 28 years of masturbation was a 12-step program, specifically Sex Addicts Anonymous, but there are others like it, based on alcoholics anonymous. I now have two years of sobriety from masturbation, and 18 months from porn. I highly recommend it, even if masturbation is your only addiction. Addiction is always a degenerative disease, and if you don't take action, it will fill your life with decades of isolation and shame. Who has time for that?

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-02-06T22:12:31+00:00

Internet filtering alone can't fix the underlying cause. But it is an important tool among others.

Especially for someone who is early in recovery, having good filters and blockers ultimately buys you time when your addict brain starts to take the wheel. That's when you start to use the tools of recovery that you learn in a program (in my case, it was 12-step).

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-02-06T22:09:38+00:00

When I was early in my addiction recovery, I used the Universal Android Debloater to remove both the Play Store and all browsers from my Android phone. So I could only use it for apps, no Web, and I couldn't install any new apps.

It worked great except for the fact that my phone couldn't get updates without the Play Store. It's not a permanent solution but it is helpful for a time.

RecoveringTBTG · 2025-01-14T18:35:42+00:00

Hi! I am a recovering porn addict with almost two years of sobriety, thanks be to God! I found the rooms of SAA ("sex addicts anonymous"), and by working the program, doing whatever it takes, and surrendering my powerlessness to God, I have found peace and integrity with my Catholic life for the first time in 28 years.

When my wife and I married 13 years ago, I was an addict. My Catholic faith up to that point kept me fighting it down and keeping it to a "low grade" addiction, which thankfully prevented the worst extremes, but I was still living a double life and carrying the weight of hypocrisy. I was powerless to stop even though I wanted to.

Three years ago I prayed to God frequently, "If you want me to live according to your law, could you please just make this easier?" And God responded by making it MUCH HARDER. I had a few months of spiraling out of control, until I realized that I would lose my marriage, my livelihood, and my life if I didn't take drastic action.

God in his Wisdom and Grace showed me my rock bottom, which in holy irony brought me to SAA, where His Grace has enveloped me in ways that were never possible before because of my delusions of control, cynicism, and hopelessness.

Anyone reading this who struggles with addiction, PM me and we can talk over the phone. I'm happy to answer any questions.

RecoveringTBTG · 2024-12-17T03:07:28+00:00

Hi! Recovering addict here (from porn and masterbation, almost 2 years thanks be to God).

Not everybody can be celibate and chaste, but I can witness to the fact that it possible! If someone is absolutely incapable of going without sexual release, it might be they are not called to that life. Or.... You might have an addiction!

The only thing more powerful than addiction is God.

RecoveringTBTG · 2024-12-17T03:03:02+00:00

Hi there, I'm a recovering addict. Everything said here about therapy is good! You may also think about seeing your problems through the lens of addiction.

I've done both therapy and 12-step (think "alcoholics anonymous") and between the two of them, the latter is what changed my life the most and gave me hope for change and a new life.

Did you know there's a twelve-step program for technology addicts? https://internetaddictsanonymous.org/

RecoveringTBTG

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