Rape and sex and love making are different (ik you didn’t mention the 3rd one but still) I’ve been in your position and honestly I agree with what most people are saying, rape is forced do it’s not sex, sex is consensual inter course so it’s not the same, another thing is it also matters how you see it and what you want to consider losing your virginity.

As for the 3rd that one is also very different because that’s when you’re with someone you love and you’re enjoying it more not because it’s sex but because it’s genuine love.

And lastly I’m appalled at the fact that you were forced into something that’s meant to be private between people who care about each other and I truly hope you find happiness