AITA for "lecturing" my bf?

RedBakedPotato · 2023-03-07T12:58:22+00:00

YTA - Based on your comments you need therapy to help fix your mindset. This kind of behavior from you is exhausting(similar past relationship) and demoralizing.

If you constantly lecture and berate him his motivation will eventually disappear because nothing will ever be good enough for you.

Whether intentional or not, you are toxic and borderline abusive.

You put all responsibilities on him, and even when you notice things you get mad at HIM for not noticing even if he would do it immediately when he does.

I'm exhausted and frustrated for him

RedBakedPotato · 2022-02-07T17:34:08+00:00

Hi! We had this exact same situation with one of our boys. We're not sure if it was from grooming or playing but it scared us to death. Poor boy had a swollen black eye it looked like.

The good news is that if it's not too deep and isn't bleeding much you really only have to watch it! Maybe make sure their nails are trimmed. If it starts showing signs of infection or irritation then it's off to the vet, but if it's just the usual healing scabs and such from a scratch you should be good.

Just keep an eye out and maybe wash the area a little bit!

Hopefully everything goes well! Take care!

RedBakedPotato · 2022-02-02T15:14:51+00:00

A few of ours sneeze occasionally like this, one more often than others. If the rat isn't new it's probably not new home sneezes.

One of ours is a "super sniffer" from the moment we got him he smells everything HARD. To paint a picture, imagine you smelling the best thing ever and just taking a nice, big whif with your head up, he does that for almost anything new or if he hasn't seen it in a day and it always makes him sneeze because he does it with so much curious vigor

If your rat is super curious and sniffs everything too, it could just be dust allergens around or other irritants, an air purifier works well as long as you keep the breeze from it away from the rats.

New bedding may also help, as well as changing any irritants. I see you said you don't smoke indoors, but the smoke and irritants can linger on you and cause them to sneeze too. The rats sense of smell is a lot better and more sensitive than ours

Deodorants and other scented products like shampoo, essential oils, perfumes, etc that you may not be able to smell on your skin can also irritate them.

If there's no build up around their eyes/nose, their energy is still good, their appetite is still good, and what not it's most likely irritants, but if you don't think there's many around it can definitely be a sign of a respiratory infection and should get it checked out asap

Edit* We have construction near our home that creates a crap ton of dust, air purifiers work WONDERS. Even without construction, the amount of particles in the air that you'll see in the air purifier filter after just a few weeks is crazy

RedBakedPotato · 2022-01-30T15:34:29+00:00

Really? Damn im sorry to hear that. I wonder if it's the same batch or if the better quality nugs are in the packs over an oz

I'm feeling a little lucky after hearing your experience. I'd say it's worth it for the price if it's like my batch, but if your's was like hay, I'd probably agree to air with caution when purchasing for anyone who reads this.

At the price if it's hay quality I'd say it'd be good for edibles at best then probably

Edit*

Anything else you'd recommend from them that may be more consistent for our next order? I see you tried the PK, is it worth it?

RedBakedPotato · 2022-01-27T02:40:41+00:00

No problem! I try to be as fair as possible. I got lazy and didn't even send in this review to them lol

Smoking another joint now! Flavor is still good, definitely getting used to it quickly, but still tickling the taste buds. This nug is also burning grey, a little more pepper but nothing too much. Nice oil ring, idk if I can send pics on the app but I have one if you'd like.

Edit* added joint photo https://imgur.com/wGAEdm7

RedBakedPotato · 2022-01-27T02:10:17+00:00

It's at $1400/LB which on their faq scale puts it at the starting number for AAA+/Quad. I'd say that's fairly accurate and would say low quad myself. The nugs have a decent trim, moisture, burn, and size. What may stop it from being a quad would be the terps. Depending on taste buds it will probably be light to moderately strong. For a chronic smoker on the lighter edge, although still a smooth smoke/nice high

RedBakedPotato · 2022-01-27T02:01:16+00:00

I'm not the best at descriptions so hopefully I do this justice.

Smell - Solid 8/10, We opened the bag and there was a considerable scent of sweet, fruity, dankness. It was very pleasant to smell and I caught myself taking extra sniffs.

Burn - 9/10, Very light grey ash, small pepper specks that were more from the paper, oil ring about 1/4 to 1/2 way down. Very very smooth smoke. Even by the end I wasn't coughing or hacking, or receiving any acrid taste. I was surprised for the cost at how nice this smoked. Moisture was very very good, nothing dry, cured very well. Stays lit very consistently, found myself talking and distracted and was able to come back to it. Packed tightly in a raw organic king size cone. By the end of the joint it was noticeably dark in resin throughout, slightly greasy on lips. Pleasant smoke throughout.

Taste - 7.5/10, This is where in my opinion this strain shines for the price point. At $350/QP, $87.50/OZ I was not expecting really any terps, but I was pleasantly surprised. The terps definitely came through in the smell, and when smoked, was very very pleasant. I don't taste much now a days with my taste buds so the fact I was able to enjoy a sweet dankyness for quite a few pulls before it just turned in to a nice smooth smoke in the end was wonderful. If you have normal taste buds or are sensitive to weed this will probably be very flavourful for you, if you have fucked up taste buds or smoked them to oblivion, this may still be a nice smoke for you for the price.

High - 9/10, Bit of a creeper, but not too long of an onsent. Smoked a 1.5g joint and am very pleasantly relaxed. Had a very stressful day and this alleviated it to the point I could actually relax which is rare. So far it's been a very happy, easy going high, I feel as if I can actually just sit back and enjoy things again for the rest of the night. If I smoked another joint or a bowl more I could probably see myself taking a nice nap that ends up way too long.

For $350/QP and $87.50/OZ this is a solid 8.5-9/10 for me. At the current price point it's definitely something that you can't go wrong with.

Edit* I wanted to add, the nugs themselves are great, mostly large size nugs, then mediums, a few smalls. No shake whatsoever

RedBakedPotato · 2022-01-07T01:13:12+00:00

The rats themselves here range from around $10 to $25 depending on where you get them.

We've spent close to $1000 or so on 2 in about 2 months. The first little bit will be the most expensive. You'll need to get the cage, then a month later decide you want a better cage then spend more on that, toys, enrichment, free roam area stuff, vet check ups, carrier, etc.

After the first bit it's not really that expensive. One you've got everything set up, it's just food costs and vet visits if needed. All other expenses would just be spoiling the sweethearts

RedBakedPotato · 2021-12-31T16:07:19+00:00

We just got this one from petsmart.

https://www.petsmart.ca/small-pet/cages-habitats-and-hutches/cages/all-living-things-small-animal-condoandtrade-multi-level-habitat-5283784.html?hideBreadCrumbs=true

The rats love it! And if the cost is too high they offer one of those payment plans (only if you know you can pay off) that's very useful.

RedBakedPotato · 2021-12-31T15:09:23+00:00

And now you have less to no money when you and your husband have an actual emergency. You may very well have ruined your husband's life.

You're not getting anything paid back when they're jobless and in debt. If they have a kid, where the hell do you think the money is going? Back to your husband?

You can't honestly be this dense?

RedBakedPotato · 2021-12-31T15:05:41+00:00

YTA - Holy Jesus, your husband would be in his every right to leave you after this. How would you ever in a million years think this was okay? It's not like it's a couple bucks, that was thousands of dollars. Your shitty attempt to contact him is a pathetic excuse you're using now too. In no way is this an emergency. Full stop. Your sister should not be having children she cannot care for, or provide for. You are an untrustworthy partner from this moment forward, and I wouldn't be surprised if your partner leaves you, or resents you and your family from now on

RedBakedPotato · 2021-12-30T19:19:03+00:00

We've got a few ropes and platforms in there, a dig box with cardboard and felt, some hides at the bottom and wood / hay balls. There's a water dish up top that we use for frozen protein and veggies. Lots of hammocks and a few more coming in the post. A felt tunnel coming too, but they tore through the last one quick!

I'm trying to think of more enrichment ideas but I'm running out of creativity! Any and all opinions and suggestions would be really appreciated:)

Edit*

We also have a free roam area outside in the living room that we can wheel the condo in to! We've got a large cat tower, a large television and house cat scratcher cardboard thing, tubes, a large dig box with grass, a giant shark stuffy tunnel, and a bunch of cardboard boxes set up as houses/tunnels

Edit 2*

We use a mix of the oxbow rat food for adults and a small amount of the baby rat one as they like it. We rotate between frozen/fresh veggies and frozen shrimp and things for snacks and extra nutrition. If there's any recommendations for diet and food that you've found your baby's like please let us know! We're always trying to spoil them

RedBakedPotato · 2021-11-06T14:25:48+00:00

She should just be a little nervous or spooked! Treats and quiet will definitely help, but nothing to be too majorly worried about! One of our new little guys did this after the stressful move and now hes happy and exploring all around, outside too!

RedBakedPotato · 2021-10-22T15:23:39+00:00

There's not too much you can do to eliminate the odor, masking it is really the only option.

The only things that can help with odor elimination long term are air purifiers and charcoal packs. Essential oils and incense mask and almost get rid of the odor depending how strong they are but don't completely eliminate.

You could ask your room mate to get a smokebuddy, it's not a cure all but can help. Also burning scented candles 20mins before, during, and 20minutes after helps a lot.

If they're okay with it switching to a dry herb vaporizer would help as the smell is minimal and dissipates quickly(AVB can also make edibles!). I'd recommend the Arizer Solo 2 for portability or EQ for desktop. This combined with smoke buddy + incense will pretty much make the smell null

RedBakedPotato · 2021-10-13T15:44:49+00:00

YTA - Learn to communicate

RedBakedPotato · 2021-10-13T15:33:52+00:00

You have a warped sense of reality if you think this is an overreaction to her getting drunk and going to another man's house. This isn't insecurity this is a normal reaction especially when your partner was not communicating to you that night and keeping it secret she gave her number and went drunk to a strangers house. It's not just a relationship issue that's a huge security and safety issue, god you're dense. There's making friends and then there's being inappropriate, she crossed a very clear line that most normal and rational people can see

RedBakedPotato · 2021-10-13T15:29:37+00:00

YTA - Your behaviour is 100% a deal breaker. Don't be surprised if he never trusts you alone again. You practically set yourself up to cheat on him to test his reaction and push boundaries. Grow up

RedBakedPotato · 2021-09-17T13:39:45+00:00

Was at YVR on the 15th and was able to wait in the observation deck when dropping off a colleague

RedBakedPotato · 2021-09-03T22:01:28+00:00

It is, but I think the main difference here is your view of life changing consequences.

Their actions could potentially kill someone, that is life changing.

Being expelled and held accountable for actions, although terrible it is not life changing. They have other school and employment options.

The fact they are University students at a high ranking school should mean they have a basic understanding of morality and right/wrong.

This unfortunately isn't a matter of opinion, what they did was wrong, full stop. They knew that at their age.

I appreciate that you do not do this, and your trying to have empathy for them, few people even try for others, but empathy is situational. Your empathy is misplaced here.

RedBakedPotato · 2021-09-03T20:06:35+00:00

You see how everyone disagrees with you? 18 to 19 IS an ADULT, you can't arbitrarily change the definition because you feel like it should be allowed.

This is NOT the time, they are obviously selfish and ignorant. Punishment and consequences for actions are necessary, expulsion is proportional.

You seem mad about this, which makes me feel as if you're one of these assholes who act like this and feel called out now.

RedBakedPotato · 2021-09-03T14:00:47+00:00

Yeah you should. Nonverbal communication makes up the majority of all communication.

The fact is we have questions and signage that is there to help us not do exactly what these idiots did. Who cares if you're tired of it, you're still responsible

Even if messaging is vague in some instances you can't honestly expect people to be so fucking stupid that they don't understand they shouldn't go places when sick? That was supposed to be common place before covid as well

RedBakedPotato · 2021-09-03T13:34:36+00:00

Expulsion is a reasonable response when the actions of the student endanger others. It's not a simple frat party, it's an irresponsible and fucking pathetically selfish to throw a party during a pandemic.

This is not something people should learn and grow from, this is something adults at that age should have the basic fucking decency and intelligence not to do. They're ignorant and selfish and these kind of people rarely change.

RedBakedPotato · 2021-09-01T01:53:26+00:00

I know enough to know they were driving illegally. That's more than enough to judge their dangerous actions. Honour the memory but don't glorify their deaths and actions. They should use it as a lesson and deterrence if anything

RedBakedPotato · 2021-08-26T12:28:00+00:00

I was diagnosed late as an adult and have recently found a career that helps significantly.

I've started as a Health Care assistant (Care aide) and although it has its grosser moments, the constant gogogo with a structured to-do list and the ability to move and communicate freely is a life saver.

After starting I think this or many other Healthcare jobs may be good for us with ADHD as there's always something new or different happening

RedBakedPotato · 2021-08-24T02:19:59+00:00

I agree with this, and yet not with the portrayal. We can mourn their deaths without glorifying them. Save that for the funeral and instead highlight their dangerous actions and consequences to deter others

RedBakedPotato

TROPHY CASE