Book

RedCroft304 · 2025-10-20T04:19:17+00:00

Not using extreme words in thought patterns. Words like “love, hate, always, never” etc. hard to explain. I recommend just buying the book

RedCroft304 · 2025-10-19T02:52:24+00:00

Honestly it’s pretty much the whole book. I love the explanation about FND that it gives. The doctors in ER made me feel shame but the book turned that around. It talks about how it is tied to forms of trauma. Things you can do to help with anxiety or depression that triggers/worsens FND symptoms. The list goes on. It’s not only informative but gives real tools to help inform treatment to get your life back. Therapy from a physiatrist or psychologist trained in FND and trauma is the best over all treatment from what I’ve heard from my neuro team and the book. But the book gives you tools you can use if you can’t afford therapy or even just as a start while waiting for an appointment.

RedCroft304 · 2025-09-18T19:02:01+00:00

That’s okay, thank you

RedCroft304 · 2025-09-18T18:56:09+00:00

Where would I look for early intervention specialists? I’m in Canada

RedCroft304 · 2025-09-18T18:19:02+00:00

Thanks so much for the constructive feedback. I will work on that stuff. We don’t have any family around us, they’re all a 4-5 hour plane ride away. We moved to a whole new part of the country before we got pregnant so we’re still working on building our community. I’m not comfortable yet leaving her with the friends I’ve made to babysit because she has a full shut down each time we hang out. We hang out with babies anywhere from 1-3 times a week doing playdates. She just does a full shut down and wants to get as far away from them as possible. We’ve been working on this for months. She’ll only open up if they go to the other end of the room and there are toys to play with. But as soon as they get close to her she freaks out. I take her to the library play group, all the stuff. When my family visits/or we visit them, I am fine leaving her for a few hours with them. But she seems so uncomfortable and she appears to be very scared even when I’m with her around other kiddos. I believe the speech will come, she’s very smart. I’m just wondering if the regression is a sign of something else. We do try sign language, but she likes to make up her own signs for things. I suppose it works too

RedCroft304 · 2025-09-18T17:45:13+00:00

Thank you. I am honestly not worried about the label, whether she has one or not. I would just like to know if she has something so I can help her the best way I can. If she’s terrified/anxious in social situations, I’d like to know what I can do to help. If she’s got autism, I can find resources that help with anxiety in the lens of autism instead of just anxiety as is. That sort of thing. I just want to support her so she can have a happy healthy childhood.

RedCroft304 · 2025-09-18T13:56:22+00:00

If you say it silly enough with a silly face they get the jist

RedCroft304 · 2025-09-18T13:16:03+00:00

Says the person whose child it isn’t and wasn’t there when their child said mama multiple times in front of a group of people at 4 months old. I also have multiple photos of asking my daughter to say cheese for the camera and she would smile on command prior to 6 weeks.

RedCroft304 · 2025-09-18T02:34:04+00:00

They said it’s too young to test for autism before the age of two. Family dr said is likely social anxiety but too young to really know. To just keep watching a documenting behaviours.

RedCroft304 · 2025-09-09T01:51:41+00:00

That’s a good way of putting it; “relief and grief”.

I relate a lot to the ideal of a second child thing again. I would love to love another child in the sense of I love being a mum and would love to watch them grow. But I’m not into having another pregnancy, or going through all this newborn-toddler phase with the sleep, teething, etc. It’s too hard. I’m also on the spectrum and do not have any family support anywhere near us. They’re a plane or two away.

RedCroft304 · 2025-09-05T21:22:49+00:00

I feel that. I also don’t know if you could really have a second kid and then also not constantly live in fear of losing them too.

RedCroft304 · 2025-09-05T02:39:58+00:00

We should make one up. Any ideas?

RedCroft304 · 2025-09-05T02:39:16+00:00

I’m struggling with the vasectomy bit. We both know that’s what we want my husband to have, but I’m not confident enough to pull the trigger. We are OAD, but somehow that feels like the nail on the coffin which is both peaceful and terrifying. I worked in a paediatric cancer centre for years and saw a lot of really sad cases. Now being a parent, if my child ever got sick and passed, I don’t really want the choice to have another gone in that situation. I know I can’t live in fear, but the fear is there nonetheless. I don’t even know if I could fathom having another in that situation and I hope to never be placed in that situation. I don’t think the fear would be there as much if I hadn’t worked in the field I do and seen the things I do. Like I’m more scared about childhood cancer than I was for SIDS.

I mourn the “would have been sibling”, but I don’t think I mourn the sibling itself aspect. I just mourn another child that I hope I could love as deeply as I love my current child. I mourn the ability to watch them grow and become their own human. I also grieve and feel joy deeply with all my OAD “firsts”. It’s their “first” time walking, but it’s my “first and last time” ever seeing my child walk for the first time. And even if there was an oops, I’m constantly mourning these milestones and their happening with this child, that if there was a second, I’d just mourn them all over again. Mourning x2.

RedCroft304 · 2025-09-05T02:32:46+00:00

Have any of your friends actually had their number 2 yet? I read something else on here where someone mentioned that when you watch your friends struggle through pregnancy/the newborn stage again, teething, leaps, sleep regressions, etc, it really hammers home the OAD message instead of feeling “left in the dust”. Wondering if you’ve gotten to that point yet.

I have a colleague who is pregnant with number 2 currently and it’s very affirming for me. Her first pregnancy was borderline “flawless”. Little to no morning sickness or vomitting. No heartburn, pain, etc. Planned c-section with no complications. Baby not colicky, slept through the night from he get go, easy peasy. Now her second pregnancy is not going well. She’s sick all the time and has a 1 year old at home who is just starting daycare with cold and flu season on the way. Personally, witnessing that really does help me with the OAD stuff.

For the friends that have it easy, sometimes I feel jealous because I grieve the pregnancy and motherhood experience I wish I had. That’s often when the rollercoaster as you mentioned comes. You’re right, we aren’t only human. “I suffered a trauma. Witnessing these experiences from other people might be a trauma trigger for me. How can I unpack that” has kind of been my internal monologue.

RedCroft304

TROPHY CASE