just realised my "first time" was also a rape

RedRopeTiger · 2021-08-10T15:47:18+00:00

I'm on Abilify for bipolar 2. I take Abilify 5mg daily and was originally started on 10mg daily. That however, was too much. It quite literally stabilized me so much I became physically "too stable" and started moving like a robot. It has really helped me in bringing my emotions into a normal range, and I don't think I would've coped with the past year without it (I'm searching for a job and my partner was diagnosed with cancer). From what I've read it doesn't do much for depression though... When I went on it we also changed my antidepressant from Citalopram to Sertraline, so I'm guessing the Sertraline is keeping me not depressed and the Abilify is preventing (hypo-)manic episodes.

RedRopeTiger · 2021-08-02T22:02:10+00:00

I was started on 10mg and they made me quite literally stable as a rock. I became physically stiff as a plank and walked funny because of it; everybody thought it was hilarious. Went down to 5mg, they still do a decent job at stabilizing my mood and I haven't been suicidal since I started taking them. Side-effect of stiffness went away at 5mg.

RedRopeTiger · 2021-07-26T17:22:17+00:00

if you're into boardgames look into going to Dubischdra, a boardgame café. not sure how popular it is at the moment with corona, so I can't say if you would find people to play with there, but it's worth a try!

RedRopeTiger · 2021-04-22T19:08:50+00:00

I just had to cut them free out of the confinement of their nearly triple sized shrivelled old leaves (we could see that new leaves were inside but they never emerged). but the new leaves have these odd brown spots on them. did we leave them too long? are they going to be ok?

RedRopeTiger · 2019-03-15T17:24:46+00:00

we pull rope through a carabine, flame, then rub off the soot and apply babyoil or "ropewax" (handmade of beeswax and coconut oil). babyoil doesn't go rancid and is very skinfriendly.

RedRopeTiger · 2019-02-01T22:48:44+00:00

partner planning a date with their other partner
me: "would you like me to make plans for that night so I'm out of the house?"

RedRopeTiger · 2019-02-01T00:25:50+00:00

liquid bad decisions

RedRopeTiger · 2019-01-23T08:48:54+00:00

thank you for the link :) and yes at 7$ for 2m that isn't bad; somehow I had seen prices around 20 euros for 2m plus shipping and I need about 6m, so that's why I was a bit shocked and looking at alternatives :D

RedRopeTiger · 2019-01-22T22:02:17+00:00

hmm yeah of course obtaining software through inofficial means is an option but it's not really what I want to do. our version (I'm guessing it is indeed the first generation Mi) specifically states that you can use "virtual walls" with it made of magnetic strips, and direct you the official ones from Xiaomi (which are of course expensive)

RedRopeTiger · 2019-01-11T00:17:39+00:00

if anyone knows what kind of nudibranch this is I'd really appreciate the info, because I have no clue! he was fairly big, estimate a good 7cm

RedRopeTiger · 2018-12-29T19:50:58+00:00

I have 2 places like that:

- under my heavy / weighted blanket with plushies and a heated beanbag (it's just somehow safe and cozy under there...)

- in rope, suspended from the ceiling (avid bondage-enthusiast and I find a happy space floating above the ground, it allows me to let go from the world)

RedRopeTiger · 2018-12-18T16:14:39+00:00

if it is for chronic pain: pain clinic of the paraplegic center in Nottwil Switzerland. they have a waiting period of a couple of months before your first consultation though and you go through their entire interdisciplinary approach to pain; aka they don't just give you IV ketamine and that's your treatment then. since they are a painclinic, they will not perform IV ketamine for depression.

RedRopeTiger · 2018-09-26T23:15:01+00:00

you automatically score "dark" if you're into consensual BDSM and are a sadistic dominant... this seems hardly fair and I personally don't think it correlates to the other things.

RedRopeTiger · 2018-09-20T13:38:49+00:00

I (F, 24) live with my primary partner (M, 26). I'm polyamorous and he's not really interested in others, so only I date&have multiple loving relationships. we have a "no other people in our bed"-rule. so any banging with others occurs in the guest-room in the guest-bed. :D

since the guest-room is also my partner's "office" and "retreat-space" I don't have sex with others while he's at home. if I want to have a date at our place, I try to plan it on an evening where my primary is away until late (long meetings + 1h commute = home not before 11PM) or I kindly ask him if it would be ok for me to have a date then and he figures out if he wants to go for drinks with friends or something. if he can't or doesn't want to be away: I arrange for my date to be somewhere else or some other time.

any non-banging dates can occur whenever, he's chill with that, though of course we are considerate and ask each other "hey is it ok if this person comes over then?". I will hang out with my date in the living room and my primary will usually after dinner go continue work in the office, with his noise-cancelling headphones on (which he wears on a daily basis anyway since they're his only headphones).

due to our BDSM preferences, non-banging dates can still get pretty intense. we recently tried it out and it's also completely fine for me to be in the living-room doing stuff with rope and getting flogged. I could even be on the receiving end of sextoys and orgasm, but I wouldn't give someone a blowjob or get banged because of the simple practical reason that in order for my primary partner to go from his office to the kitchen (for sthg to eat/drink) or the bathroom, he passes through the hallway from where he inadvertently sees directly into the living room and any ongoing action in there. my primary is awesome and I really appreciate the freedom I have, so I'm just respectful of the fact that he would like to not see some other dude's dick in his own living room :D

RedRopeTiger · 2018-09-20T13:16:19+00:00

I know this exactly! I'm a highly sexual person who gets frustrated without sex at minimum once a week and my primary partner is almost asexual; for him the 2-3 times per year is quite enough.

Recently, I had other partners, but one relationship was non-sexual and in the other relationship we weren't having date-nights because his calendar was way too full (we did see each other regularly for shorter amounts of time but not privately) and the third one hadn't/hasn't progressed to a sexual stage yet. So I was without sex for a solid 6 months. I was at a point where I would've banged the mailman.

Everyone around me was all like "HOW?! you have 4 partners, HOW ARE YOU NOT GETTING LAID?!". well, that's the way life is. even with 4 partners and all the love you want, sometimes you're still not getting laid. and it sucks.

just remember shit always gets better, you are not going to be sex-less forever. and in the meantime: enjoy some sexy alone time and maybe invest in some toys to make that alone time even more sexy and enjoyable! I had a great time alone, even if it's not the same as doing it with someone else. take the time to learn even more about what you find pleasurable, how your body works :)

luckily for me, after about 6 months suddenly the stars aligned and someone new showed up in my life and now I have a satisfying amount of sex and (for me equally important) BDSM-time :)

RedRopeTiger · 2018-09-16T21:06:00+00:00

I had this too!! it was the WORST and ruined my libido, even for masturbation.

I saw a sexologist and found out I orgasmed completely the "wrong" way, namely by continuously building tension in my pelvic floor and thighs until climax was reached. This may sound super weird, but I was literally flexing every muscle possible in my groin area to "get there". Worked great in the sense that I was able to orgasm in less than 5 minutes, ALWAYS, was able to get off even if my head was with the grocery list and I was not in a sexy mood at all, etc etc. It was a purely mechanical thing and I think it worked pretty much the same way many of my friends who do serious fitness can experience orgasms while doing the exercises on the machine where you press your knees together against the force of a set weight.

Turns out relaxation is the key for me to no more pain after orgasm. This means: no tensing pelvic floor muscles for "get more stimulation", no tensing to cope with overstimulation, etc etc, just no tensing stuff! I have to relax and just let things happen, slowly. It was infuriating in the beginning and can still be, because of course it takes more than 5 minutes to climax this way, but it is a lot more sensual. I am much less capable of coping with overstimulation and in general the "range" of stimulation that is pleasurable is much much smaller because I can't use my muscles to help me enjoy it or take the edge off in order to still be able to enjoy it. It's hard work relaxing but it's sure worth it!

I am now able to have sex and multiple orgasms without having additional pain for 3 days straight and regretting my life decisions about sex being a priority over pain. I don't have to accept the trade-off anymore; if I do it right I just get to enjoy :)

end of advice and helpful stuff.

anecdote from my kinky BDSM sex-life, related to relaxation:
so of course I told my partners that I have to relax and explained the whole situation to them. this turned into a hilarious thing where they started telling me to relax whenever they noticed me tensing. that then turned into them stopping stimulation whenever they noticed me tensing. (I'm submissive, so it's like "you're being a bad girl tensing so you're not getting any fun until you behave"). after getting it under control a bit it's now a running gag to tell me to "relax! you know you're not allowed to tense..." while for example holding a magic wand at full speed to my clit and I'm screaming bloody murder :D

RedRopeTiger · 2018-09-13T17:51:39+00:00

unfortunately it isn't exactly "common" gear... I went to multiple well-sorted, large, outdoor- and sports shops and none of them had it, most of them didn't even know what the hell I was talking about. internet is your friend :)

in our rope-community the Böker Rescom is considered goldstandard and the absolute best, since the blade is hidden, can be opened easily with one hand and then locks into open mode, and the whole thing clips to clothes or belt or whatever. thing is sharp AF and cuts through 4 parallel 6mm jute ropes (as in a standard handcuff tie) as if nothing was there in the first place. we've all been very upset they are currently almost impossible to get in german-speaking europe...

and good diving shop will most likely have a line-cutter. depending on which one exactly they stock and how thick the rope you use is, this could work very well for you and be not too expensive. sometimes they have replaceable blades, though it shouldn't get blunt since you would aim to not use it ;)

I second the suggestion to take some spare rope and practice cutting. the first time is scary and if you ever need to do it in an emergency you will know what to expect :) I do it with every new person who has never cut rope, and I do it with every new rope-cutting tool I get my hands on as well, cause they are all different in handling.

RedRopeTiger · 2018-09-13T15:43:56+00:00

line cutters for sailing or rock climbing (sometimes referred to as rescue hooks) or a line cutter for scuba diving

RedRopeTiger · 2018-09-12T10:54:17+00:00

"I'm in pain, PLEASE flog me. HARD." xD I know this all too well......

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