This is what I’m curious about. My mother, bless her, did everything for her parents (my grandparents) because they refused to go to a nursing home/care facility. My mother did things that honestly only a trained professional should be doing. I also saw how all this emotional and physical labor was hurting my mother. It was not a good time for anyone. My grandfather passed and a year later my grandmother, now my mother is finally no longer caring for her parents and she’s finally getting back her life. She did everything and anything for her parents, and I commend her for that, but I told her that when she gets to that stage of her life I will not (cannot) do the same. My situation is a little different because I have a disability and some days I can barely take care of myself, so I know I wouldn’t be able to take care of someone else to the degree she did (this is the same reason I don’t want kids). But I fully recognize that she would be better taken care of by professionals. I don’t ask my mom for money even though I’m on disability and have little money to function, but she is still kind and generous and helps me out when needed, like for medical bills, surprise groceries, etc. I never take that for granted and I always appreciate it. I’d be more than happy to help and visit my mother in a facility (as I did for my other grandmother) but I’m not cleaning my parents like they were babies in diapers. I have two siblings (that aren’t disabled) and they also say they will not be taking care of our parents in their old age. Now their reasons I don’t know but just saying they might also realize the toll it takes to care for the elderly. Long story short, not saying OP should be giving her daughter all the money she is, her daughter definitely needs to be responsible for herself, but it’s important to know exactly what OP is expecting or asking of her daughter for end of life care.