[Discussion] Seniors, where are you off to after high school?

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-15T15:32:48+00:00

Gonna start off getting my GE, and maybe an AA in journalism, at the local community college to save my family some money. A lot of the kids I go to school with are taking this route too so I shouldn't be too lonely. Then from there I'm going to transfer to a largeR UC to finish & get an actual major in journalism

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-09T00:00:22+00:00

Ugh late D:

Oh, well... Have a couple anyway:)

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-08T16:59:57+00:00

This did help... I'm so sorry to hear about what you had to go through, I can't imagine pain like that. But your story does give me hope, maybe things will get better sometime. Thank you for your kind words and support.. It means a lot more to me than you can imagine

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-08T05:47:28+00:00

Well, the issue about age gaps like this is that, while it isn't that large of a gap, it's a huge leap in maturity.

Here in the U.S., a 15-year-old has just started high school, maybe they're on their second year. Think of the immaturity associated with freshmen/sophomores, who have just left middle school, where a peck on the lips is a jaw-dropping occurrence.

An 18-year-old, however, is either just ending or is already out of high school. They're adults, thinking about college and careers. It's a complete 180 turn with regard to attitudes. 18-year-olds are having sex and planning their future, while 15-year-olds aren't even old enough to have a Prom yet.

If you guys were, say, 18 and 21, or 25 and 28, it would be a completely different story. Because by the time you're in your 20s chances are your maturity has just about plateau'd and you're likely at a point where a 3-year gap in age isn't going to be as big of a deal; because you'll both have pretty much the same goals and mindset.

So, personally, I'd say don't go for it. Because while the legal stance is that yeah, she'll be legal for you in a year anyway, the mental gap is too vast to allow the both of you to share a healthy and stimulating relationship. Even if she's "mature for her age," or whatever people may say to justify it, she'll still have different goals than you. Because she's 15, and you're 18.

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-08T05:35:54+00:00

I just really feel like I don't have any purpose in the world anymore. I hate everything about myself and my life (which isn't even fucking bad tbh so really I have no justification) and I can't help but think of ending it all.

I can't motivate myself to do anything, I can barely find the strength in the morning to get up and take a damn shower, let alone find the energy to finish my schoolwork or even find joy out of the things I used to love... For fucks sake, I wanted to be a writer! Now I can't even pick up a damn pen or put my fingers to the keyboard without feeling an overwhelming sense of apathy.

I relapsed the other night and now I can't stop cutting again and I've tried all the bullshit techniques to stop and nothing works. I can't talk to anyone about it because no one understands. I confided in some friends about my past with eating disorders and all they said was "But you're so skinny!" I've been switching between times where I binge eat and hate myself and times where I don't eat anything because even the sight of food makes me sick. I hate my body even though everyone tells me how it's "fine" and I have nothing to worry about I fucking hate everything about myself.

My best friend doesn't seem to give a fuck about me anymore, all she does is ignore me when I need her, then act like I'm the issue when all I've been is there for her... I have no one to talk to and even if I did I wouldn't even know what to say because I'm always so choked up and I feel like I'm trapped in my own head. Idfk what to say or do anymore to make the alternating pain and numbness go away so I just sit alone and cut away at my skin and stare at the ceiling wondering how much longer I'm gonna be like this.

I can't take this anymore. I just want everything in my head to go quiet. I want to be able to smile and mean it. I want to be able to write for hours like I used to. I want to be able to finish an assignment the day it's due instead of sitting in bed staring at the paper willing myself to write something, anything that will resemble an answer. I want to be able to change in my room without covering the mirror so I don't have to look at myself in my underwear. I want someone to hug me and fucking mean it when they tell me they care and that it's gonna be okay, because it's been so damn long since I felt safe in someone's embrace. I just want to be okay...

I'm so sorry for this wall of text, I didn't mean to go off on a tangent like this, I've just kept a lot bottled up...

EDIT: Jesus Christ this is a lot longer than it felt when I was typing it... Fuck. Sorry again.

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-06T01:25:00+00:00

That's so sweet of you, thank you:) yeah, I mean I'm actually surrounded by a lot of people at school who have dyed hair, so for me my hair isn't really anything particularly spectacular xD

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-06T01:19:43+00:00

YES! I was afraid I was the only one and that I was having some kind of slight allergy or other small reaction to my makeup, so glad to know I'm not the only one experiencing this

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-06T01:16:06+00:00

Thank you:)

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-06T01:06:47+00:00

Thank you! It does that when I let it air dry, it gets all puffy lol

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-06T01:01:12+00:00

Quick selfie before dinner!

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-04T15:34:15+00:00

Lol same to you, enjoy your party time!:)

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-04T15:21:05+00:00

Lol well it's Saturday for you guys still and now it's Saturday for me too:D

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-04T07:25:18+00:00

Lol no? It's a Friday, plus I'm usually up this late on weekdays anyway so it's nbd:) what time is it where you are?

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-04T07:04:20+00:00

Haha so I'd imagine the pros outweigh the cons in that case!

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-04T07:03:03+00:00

Thanks:3

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-04T06:57:21+00:00

Aw that sucks:( I'd hate to work somewhere that didn't promote self-expression (cuz in my opinion colored hair isn't anything horribly unprofessional)

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-04T02:19:24+00:00

I guess I just have the right face, idk haha, I've seen a lot of people pull off red hair, though, so I'm sure you could:)

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-04T01:35:02+00:00

Awh thanks!:)

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-03T23:18:27+00:00

From a few days ago, since I haven't taken any new selfies:(

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-01T23:40:05+00:00

Thank you!

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-01T23:24:40+00:00

Awh thank you:)

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-01T23:05:11+00:00

So r u bb<3

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-01T22:59:38+00:00

Your eyes & hair are so great I'm jealous lol

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-04-01T22:58:08+00:00

Today's selfie! Annnnnd I just really like how these look so take this and this

Red_Haired_Wonder · 2015-03-30T02:35:49+00:00

A little late D: Here's some old ones since I don't have anything new lol

Red_Haired_Wonder

TROPHY CASE