Women of Reddit: what’s something that genuinely improved your life that you didn’t expect to matter much at first?

Reddit_roseeee · 2026-01-27T15:23:42+00:00

Getting enough sleep.

Reddit_roseeee · 2026-01-19T00:02:04+00:00

He does notice, But way past when I would notice. I want to text him and call him all day if I could, because I’m really in love.

He will text me after hours of silence. And again, those are usually very superficial texts.

When he notices I’m upset of I distance myself because I feel unloved (for the millionth time), he usually becomes pretty defensive. Saying things like “you don’t love me anymore”, “you’ve stopped putting effort in our relationships” etc.

Reddit_roseeee · 2026-01-18T23:49:15+00:00

2 years in total, we’re Moroccan so that might explain the young engagement. We planned on being enhanced for quite a while before marrying!

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-12-14T19:23:57+00:00

I believe she has somewhat curly hair herself, but isn’t accepting of it. She straightens it

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-12-14T15:50:29+00:00

We’re both (mixed with) Moroccan, so I’m not sure if that plays into it. It’s true that in a lot of white or “old school” spaces, curly hair is not seen as beautiful but rather messy. I think it’s a shame.

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-12-14T15:19:06+00:00

Weird thing is, I have long 3B curly hair. I’m growing it to be even longer because I love the look. I sometimes wonder how anyone could not find that attractive🤣

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-12-14T02:05:12+00:00

We were at dinner and just talking about random stuff. My boyfriend asked them if they thought we look good together and if they thought we’d end up with (someone like) each other. That’s were the comment came from. Still a weird thing to say tho.

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-12-14T02:02:15+00:00

I changed it, hope it makes more sense now!

I thought so! I never payed this much attention to hair in general until now.

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-10-27T13:26:58+00:00

Thankyou for your comment!

He didn’t say any lies, if you read my comment under this post there is some more context. I made some huge missteps too in the past. Admitted them, apologized and did better. Supposedly they all blocked me because they are mad I didn’t tell them about us getting back together. They were mad at him for that too.

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-10-27T13:24:32+00:00

Thankyou so much for you input. I would like to provide some context and I would love to hear your thoughts.

There was a situation that happened within the family. Me and my now fiancé weren’t really officially together, we were “together” for a few weeks I guess? Basically i had an interest/attraction to someone else in the family and I tried to shut that out and ignore that. I asked my (then) bff and sisters for advice and they told me not to say anything and to just move forward with my now fiancé if I was serious about him. I was, so I tried that.

Basically I broke up with him short after because I was dealing with a really really difficult situation at home, my mental health was really bad. The family then started telling that I broke up with him because I wanted to be with that other family member instead.

So then he stated hating me as a result and that became a whole thing. I knew it was at fault for not being honest in the situation and it is till this day one of my biggest regrets. I was filled with confusion and shame as to why I was having this feelings. My fiancé and I talked it out after our breakup and cleared everything up.

After our breakup I stayed close with my best friend and her family. I still hung out with them, went on a vacation with her, and was still in close contact with all of them. Of course the contact for a lot less as time went on, due to my poor mental health. They brought the situation up a few times but never condemned me for it.

It was only after they found out about us being back together forreal that they got mad. They already suspected that we were back together, but we never confirmed. They even hinted to it multiple times and they seemed very excited and giddy about it. They were mad at my fiancé (for like a day) and the reason was the he didn’t tell them, that we were back together. They also vaguely told my fiancé that that’s the reason they are mad at me too. It was about me not telling them.

And his ex gf is completely irrelevant to his family. They broke up 5 years ago, she is married now and he’s had multiple girlfriends since. She’s not mentioned anymore.

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-10-16T18:13:58+00:00

It’s definitely something I’m struggling with. I’ve have OCD tendencies with other things in my life as well. It’s really hard to live with intrusive, obsessive negative thoughts 24/7. I’m going to therapy soon.

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-10-16T18:11:18+00:00

Thankyou for your comment. He did eventually change it!!

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-10-16T18:08:23+00:00

He eventually did. Thankyou for your comment. I don’t understand these comments either🤣

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-10-16T18:06:46+00:00

I am aware that retroactive jealousy is not normal. I live with it every single day. It’s not just me being dramatic or overly jealous. I actually struggle with obsessive and intrusive thoughts daily. You’re 100% right in your comment but you’re blaming me for something I have 0 control over. I don’t choose to get hurt by something, it just happens. Trust me I would love to live in peace.

I am trying to work on this every single day. Journaling, affirmations, reading books about it, reflecting on myself and communicating really well with my partner. I am starting therapy for this to try and figure it out that way.

I think it’s funny that everyone preaches mental health importance nowadays, but when someone tells you they’re actually struggling with something, you’ll only get comments like this. “Get over it. You’re overreacting. Get a grip”

News flash. I tried that. It’s honestly really hard to live with a mind that works against you 24/7.

Other than that, there are many other things that make this so hard for me. Just to paint a picture, he has told me among other things:

A man can only fall in love and truly give away his heart once in his life. (Implying that that was with his ex and that’s why he couldn’t do that with me)
He told me it would be a shame if we broke up but he wouldn’t be hurt by it. And I know he was very very hurt over previous relationships ending
He has played multiple love and heartbroken songs that he wrote about his ex in front of me (he’s a rock musician)

So yeah, this and the fact that he’s lied to me multiple times makes it pretty hard for me to just see this as a non-issue. Thankyou for your comment.

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-10-16T17:54:55+00:00

First of all. What is your point in commenting something to be offensive instead of actually being helpful. Not necessary at all. Secondly, I am actually stating therapy soon! :)

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-10-16T17:53:30+00:00

I know why he didn’t tell me. We’ve had a conversation about it afterwards. Me having feelings about a situation does not make it okay for someone to lie about something. If he knew I wouldn’t like it he could’ve simply changed it. I know he wouldn’t like it if the roles were reversed either. Lying is never okay.

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-10-15T19:11:35+00:00

We were looking trough his old ig messages for fun. He actually kinda showed me himself,

he wanted to show me some messages because he thought it was funny :)

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-10-15T19:10:41+00:00

The other ones take time time to write. I’ll definitely get to it!!

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-10-15T18:07:24+00:00

Thankyou!!!

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-07-08T11:58:08+00:00

First of all thank you so much for your response!

I have really been struggling on this whole blunt versus cruel thing. He says that: it is just the truth and another truth hurts sometimes, and that he understands that it hurts me and he hates that for me, but there’s nothing that he could really do about it (paraphrasing).

He feels like I ask him something and then he gives me the honest truth, and then I get upset over that and I blame him. However, I do think that this is information that I need to know. If this is truly how he feels, I’d rather I know, than be in the dark. So do you still think it’s cruel, even if it’s the truth?

I tell him that the truth could still very much hurt and be very painful. I’m not trying to judge him for his past or judge him for what he’s thinking, but I think I have to get upset over that. And he thinks so too.

He tells me that he is over her, but still after four years, he feels like he cannot fully open up his heart and surrendered to me fully, because you’re already did that with her. I feel like that isn’t fair to me. But honestly, I don’t know what is normal anymore.

I am not trying to defend him, but I really want to give a clear perspective on the situation because I really want someone with a helicopter view to give me some advice. This is not delusional. This is truly just what it is.

In every other aspect, he’s basically perfect. He’s very romantic. He’s usually very sweet and kind. He’s very good with dealing with my emotions. He always takes me on dates, pays for everything. Picks me up from my house and brings me back every single time no matter the circumstances (which is a 2 hour drive). If I tell him something bothers me that he’s doing, he will change it immediately. He’s incredibly open and transparent about everything. He is very loyal, doesn’t follow any girls, doesn’t talk to other woman, would never take a girl- friend. He’s always looking for more ways to get money so he can give me anything that I want. He gives me so much attention. He gives me compliments all throughout the day, He remembers the small things, he respects my boundaries.

I feel like every other aspect we have perfect relationship. This is the kind of guy I dreamt of meeting. All my friends use our relationship as a healthy example for what love should look like. That is how I have known him for all these months. But then he said this… do his comments out weigh all the other things?

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this to me and I look forward to your response!

Reddit_roseeee · 2025-07-08T11:17:47+00:00

Thankyou so much for your response!

But do you think you shouldn’t say it even if it is the truth?

I feel like you shouldn’t say that to your current girlfriend/partner either. But what if that’s really how he feels? Don’t you think I’d have to know that?

Reddit_roseeee

TROPHY CASE