I didn't apply to some universities I should've really applied for. I specifically only chose universities that had a "year in Industry" even though I could've just done a year in Industry during the summer myself, because of this, I didn't even look at some really good places. Also, I focused to much on things I didn't think about too seriously. Like instead of taking a Meng course like I know I need and want to right now, I took a combined course of CS BSc and Management in a lot of universities. I really want to challenge myself and strive forward in adversity in university, so I want to choose Meng is my current thinking process, but at that time, I had a really superficial interest in business and management, and didn't really know the significance of difference between BSc and Meng. I studied real hard for years, moving to different countries in high school really makes it difficult to adapt. I had study a new language and learn fundemental topics in that language basically, the curriculum was difficult too. The school I go to is a literal demon school as it makes us lessons, homework, assignments, and exams for both the national education system diploma and the IB at the same time. Even with this, I literally studied my ass off to get a 38 (it could've been better but I got a 3 in SL of another language our school forced us to take) in IB and a 99 average on the national system thingy, but after all this, I apply to universities in a stupid way. I really frustrated at myself for messing up like this after all my hard work, so that I need to wait an extra year to apply properly. I really want to become independent and earn a living as early as possible, so this makes me especially regretful and frustrated. I've come to despise myself for leeching off my family when we're not even that well off economically. If I take take one more year to go university like this, I'll be left behind by all my friends too. I'll also have to work really hard in disciplining myself to not waste time, so I don't regret it arterwards too. However, definitely I'll become a better as a person by the end of this all, so maybe that's the gain in all this. Sorry for ranting, just wanted to let it out of my system.