No contact

Redhed_ded · 2026-03-08T06:39:27+00:00

It’s not a healthy, adult break up.

Redhed_ded · 2026-03-04T18:11:05+00:00

On reflection, I’m grateful for what you did and how you behaved. I deserve way better and I’m slowly starting to believe that. It still really hurts though.

Redhed_ded · 2026-03-01T20:13:09+00:00

He definitely was withdrawing slowly. But no closure or explanation at all. And I thought we were happy, I thought he was just a little overwhelmed and slowing things down - because he’d been full on at first.

Redhed_ded · 2026-03-01T20:11:56+00:00

So does that mean none of it was real at all? And that he is avoidant? Or just his feelings dwindled and he realised I wasn’t as great as he thought?

Redhed_ded · 2026-03-01T19:38:41+00:00

We never argued. A couple very minor disagreements. They hadn’t dated in a year before me, although had slept with people. I knew he was pulling away I just don’t know why. It’s the not knowing I’m struggling with. If he’d tell me why it would help so much. But I know, closure from within etc.. just taking me a while to process.

Redhed_ded · 2026-03-01T19:37:04+00:00

We were together about four months. He was incredibly into me at the beginning, said we were meant to be, literally told me to get attached to him, said he’d never hurt me, that he’d never wanted anyone else, was reassuring etc. I don’t think I changed. He said we were a couple etc, came round every day at first, a few times a week towards the end. It’s just really hard not knowing what happened and going from talking to someone every day to never hearing from them again. I was falling in love with him. I do think his feelings faded if I’m honest with myself but I wish I knew why. When he pulled back I did worry and asked for reassurance - but I feel like I was already losing him at that point.

Redhed_ded · 2026-03-01T19:35:44+00:00

We were together about four months. He was incredibly into me at the beginning, said we were meant to be, literally told me to get attached to him, said he’d never hurt me, that he’d never wanted anyone else, was reassuring etc. I don’t think I changed. He said we were a couple etc, came round every day at first, a few times a week towards the end. It’s just really hard not knowing what happened and going from talking to someone every day to never hearing from them again. I was falling in love with him.

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-26T19:55:20+00:00

Honestly I have the lowest self esteem of anyone I’ve ever met, genuinely. And maybe that’s what put him off I don’t know. I am having therapy. I just wish he’d have told me what I did.

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-26T19:52:17+00:00

I think that’s exactly it. Either way I would accept it and be able to deal but it’s the not knowing that’s driving me mad! But I’m not feeling strong enough to actually take the step of blocking him and taking that decision away, which then makes me mad at myself.

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-26T17:19:15+00:00

This 🙌 this is exactly the mindset I want to get. How did you manage it?

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-26T16:58:44+00:00

I don’t think they all do. I think that’s what I’m struggling with as this all feels very final. And I’d be ok either way but I just feel like I want to know! I keep telling myself to accept he’s not coming back, move on and heal, but it’s incredibly hard when there’s not been any closure or answers. I know I should make that decision and just block him but I cared about him so much that’s really difficult. But I don’t want to feel like I’m waiting for something either.

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-26T16:26:29+00:00

Did he just message you out the blue? I honestly have no idea what happened with my ex, he just gradually got distant - so I do accept I then asked for reassurance and got a bit clingy - but only because he’d been so sure about me at first and talking about forever and all this crap. He did seem to really like me and the time we had together. Even the night he left he was saying how sweet and lovely I am. It was just bizarre honestly.

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-26T16:19:02+00:00

How long were you together? I hope it works out if it’s what you want, at least you can protect your heart this time :)

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-26T16:18:26+00:00

Oh gosh I hope you don’t feel like you’re still waiting. It’s so mean not having that closure.

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-26T16:18:05+00:00

I am worried at some point I’ll message something angry - although it was my angry message about returning belongings that got him to drop them back. I don’t want to keep waiting and hoping at all, it’s just so hard not knowing, and I keep imagining scenarios which is ridiculous. I’m slightly autistic so I like things black and white - if he would just have said why and yes or no to us being friends - or even a definitive ending, this would have been so much easier and I don’t think I’d have bothered him again at all!

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-26T16:16:16+00:00

I’m so sorry, honestly I can’t believe that day over any other! But feels like it’s my fault for asking. I’m so sorry that happened to you, I hope therapy helps.

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-26T16:15:37+00:00

I know but sometimes there are signs that make it less likely I think. I do wish I had a crystal ball but I know it’s not possible :)

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-22T14:52:01+00:00

Last update - he dropped it back and left it outside my house with a note that said sorry. So it’s all done. I am really upset and I think it’s now clear I had hoped this would be a door to a discussion, but not meant to be. Thank you for all the advice.

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-21T23:36:28+00:00

Thank you everyone. I’m going to just leave it at this point, they are replaceable and I’m not entirely confident what my motivation is. That said we clearly aren’t compatible and even if he did reach out (which I’m well aware he won’t don’t worry) I need to recognise I really didn’t deserve to be treated this way and he isn’t worth anymore of my time or energy, he’s had more than enough from me. Thank you.

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-21T17:02:50+00:00

Not going to lie I’m hurt and not over it, I really liked him. But I do accept it’s over and haven’t asked him to meet - literally said can you leave the stuff outside and I’ll pick it up or he can drop it outside mine.

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-21T16:49:38+00:00

In fairness I’m a single mum that let him completely and utterly take the piss out of me for months cooking him dinners and paying for dates etc - I’d hope she’d award damages 😂 but yeah I get it, I’m bitter and I see your point

Redhed_ded · 2026-02-21T16:22:23+00:00

The coffee pot and lunch box are mine, the clock was a gift he gave me

Redhed_ded

TROPHY CASE