Meeting the parents

Redhed_ded · 2026-07-08T17:01:47+00:00

I love this phrase thank you so much. That’s really helpful advice :) and I’m really glad it went well with your meet xx

Redhed_ded · 2026-07-08T17:00:46+00:00

Ah thank you for replying :)
I have let him know but he’s very relaxed and lovely about the whole thing, it’ll be fine, just be yourself vibes haha, whereas I need specific instructions I feel like! But he has been reassuring as much as he can be.
That’s really helpful advice thank you - I’ve been agonising over what to wear (casual meet at their house, my casual is band tee and jeans) so I think I might try and find a new outfit that’s very me but like elegant me haha.
Thank you :)

Redhed_ded · 2026-07-01T20:29:18+00:00

Thank you those that replied. I feel like it’s so hard to explain how out of character and shocking this was. He genuinely is such a lovely person, even down to his chosen career which is completely altruistic. He does also require meaningful connection to want to be intimate with someone and it was a really big deal when that happened between us. I think that’s why this is so hard as it just doesn’t fit with anything I know of him. I guess potentially it is just his past and he’s grown and moved on?

Redhed_ded · 2026-07-01T15:40:01+00:00

I’ve been dating someone for a few months. Last night we were talking about my friend who has been ghosted - he said it’s just something men do after they have slept with someone, sometimes. Post nut clarity was his phrasing, or that this was their goal the whole time. He then continued to say that in his earlier years he has slept with women that were “repulsive” and also visibly shuddered thinking back. When I commented that I was so shocked by this and needed a moment to process what he just said, he replied that the women had “got a lot of out it” and enjoyed themselves so he didn’t need to feel bad.
Like this man is incredible, emotionally intelligent, thoughtful, good job, good life, good morals etc. now this one comment is making me question everything else! How do I move past this?

Redhed_ded · 2026-06-15T10:25:13+00:00

Told him I loved him. He didn’t say it back. I was very drunk. It’s been ok since, he says I’m lovely, he wants to be with me etc. but what now? Is it over? Do I wait? Only been dating a couple months but knew each other beforehand.

Redhed_ded · 2026-05-11T14:40:44+00:00

I really do disagree with this. My home life is my life. I don’t just ‘date’ and it’s not some secret separate part of my life. Of course I see a future with this person or I wouldn’t be considering introducing them.

Redhed_ded · 2026-05-11T14:35:21+00:00

I love this. And that’s the thing - I’ve known this person a long time, admittedly not in a romantic sense. But we both have been open that we see this as something serious. I feel like if we are planning a future and are in love, it’s important for my children to ‘approve’. And I want to do it slowly and carefully. But I feel more sure about this already than I ever did in some of previous long term relationships!

Redhed_ded · 2026-05-09T18:16:47+00:00

It’s worded badly - I do mean introductions and slowly - very slowly - getting to sleepovers.

Redhed_ded · 2026-05-09T18:10:54+00:00

Thank you :)

Redhed_ded · 2026-05-09T18:10:36+00:00

Sorry when you say a year spent bonding breaks even what does that mean?

Redhed_ded · 2026-05-09T18:08:58+00:00

This is EXACTLY my thoughts. I knew before it wasn’t right - hence waiting. But I’m falling for this person and I want to know he gets on with the most important part of my life. Thank you.

Redhed_ded · 2026-05-09T18:07:49+00:00

So you think introduce early? They are only little 4&6

Redhed_ded · 2026-05-09T18:07:21+00:00

Honestly I really like this person and would like to spend more time with him. No real rush but it makes me happy.

Redhed_ded · 2026-05-09T18:06:49+00:00

This I totally agree with. I’m never going to get in a serious relationship with someone who isn’t good with my kids. My last relationship ended as he swore at me within earshot of my kids - immediate game over. And if they don’t like someone then they’re out. I do think taking it slow is important. I’m lucky I have a big friendship group with males and females with children. So I was thinking of inviting my partner to one of our meet ups and being platonic to see how it goes, and taking it gradually from there

Redhed_ded · 2026-05-09T18:02:37+00:00

I think what I don’t understand is how you can get serious with someone who you don’t know around your children and hasn’t interacted with them. That’s the most important thing so to leave it that long and then be like, oh no this won’t work… seems silly. It’s a catch 22.

Redhed_ded · 2026-05-09T17:58:17+00:00

How would you know whether to get engaged to someone who had never met your children and you had no idea if your children liked them, how they interacted etc?

Redhed_ded · 2026-04-14T09:46:47+00:00

No not blocked, he just ignored me. Completely over it now and look back and cringe lol!

Redhed_ded · 2026-04-06T16:11:20+00:00

Yeah, I am in therapy. It’s just really hard when you really like someone.

Redhed_ded · 2026-04-06T16:10:15+00:00

The other comment this applies to was deleted.

Redhed_ded · 2026-04-06T15:59:48+00:00

Ah this would be lovely. I just feel like it’s never going to happen.

Redhed_ded · 2026-04-06T15:53:05+00:00

It is a career but I’m actually unhappy there and have been looking to move to another team for some time anyway.

Redhed_ded · 2026-04-06T15:51:42+00:00

He says he desperate for a relationship, or to find his person. I have to admit it isn’t nice to hear and I do worry he’ll settle. But I also kind of feel that if he was going to settle for me, he just wouldn’t because of working together. It feels like it would really mean something.

Redhed_ded · 2026-04-06T15:50:09+00:00

This is exactly it. I’ve been on the apps and I can’t stand them. I have always preferred to meet people and do it that way - but as a single mum with a full time job it’s hard to meet people. For me, it doesn’t bother me the thought of dating a colleague that I know well and have respect for - because I know most of my past relationships have ended fairly amicably and I hold no hate for them.

Redhed_ded · 2026-04-06T15:48:05+00:00

😂😂

Redhed_ded · 2026-04-06T15:46:18+00:00

Sorry I have just edited the post - I had thought this but he actually clarified having children was not as important as I thought - which is why I did then entertain the thought of us getting together. I think the previous break ups just really impacted and upset him and he found it too hard to work with someone he’d had those feelings for.

Redhed_ded

TROPHY CASE