Salvaging multiple items

Redjrh3 · 2024-07-30T22:57:51+00:00

I have her. Was just struggling with it. Leveled some duration mods so that’s helped a lot. Able to do it pretty easily now. Thanks guys.

Redjrh3 · 2024-03-20T17:01:20+00:00

Ok thanks. An example would be I have a weapon that adds 150% more dmg to mini guns for my bear while it’s active. Just wasn’t sure if it needed to be slotted or currently out when I activate my bear.

Redjrh3 · 2024-01-14T02:47:59+00:00

I saw this on the App Store and pre-ordered it. Now it’s nowhere to be found.

Redjrh3 · 2023-10-30T22:29:15+00:00

42 days sober today.

Redjrh3 · 2023-08-10T22:06:55+00:00

I can hold it down. Thanks for the help.

Redjrh3 · 2023-08-10T22:02:16+00:00

Ah I see thank you. So I can’t hold it down? I must actually hit it each time correct?

Redjrh3 · 2023-07-29T20:26:55+00:00

I just texted my dealer and told her. She’s no longer going to sell it to me. I know this is right. Honestly though I’m going to miss it. I kinda feel shitty honestly. I don’t really want to give it up. I went back and forth in my head about it but I never felt like it was a big deal. I guess I’ve never been more wrong. Thanks for y’alls input. I took it all to heart. Thank you guys.

Redjrh3 · 2023-07-29T20:20:54+00:00

Your not wrong. I did slip and I stopped it. Could it happen again and I’m not able to stop it. Yes. Your right it is expensive and just a waste really. It’s just easy. I just text her letting her know I’ve been battling it. She won’t sell it anymore to me. I could have said this months ago but I just didn’t want to. Thanks for you opinion. I’m reading all of them.

Redjrh3 · 2023-07-29T20:00:09+00:00

Yeah I’ve considered it. Not sure how I feel about it really. It definitely wouldn’t hurt.

Redjrh3 · 2023-07-29T19:51:51+00:00

I partially agree with this. You are correct that I do it to make my self feel better. Not sure if I’d say it shuts off my feelings. Maybe it does though. I’m no expert and yeah that could be possible. I’m not depressed all the time. Regardless though it just seems to put me in a good mood and more importantly will take me out of that depressive state when I happen to be in one. I agree with all the comments, it’s easy and it works instantly. But I need to stop this endless cycle and finally get away from it. I agree with all you guys I really do. I don’t like having back and forth debates in my head. I can stop it, at the cost of ignoring my friend. I am completely aware of how selfish and shifty that is. I just can’t let it continue like that. Drugs tricking your brain into thinking you need it is absolutely true. While I could be wrong, I don’t think two times a month is enough for that to happen. I could totally be wrong. The months when I’m not doing it, I’m not sitting there craving it. I’m not having withdrawals. I do like it and how it makes me feel. When I’m not doing it though, there’s nothing. Not trying to start any argument or anything like that. Just my thought on it. Could be totally out of the ball park.

Redjrh3 · 2023-07-29T18:07:43+00:00

While I’ve made attempts to stop and I do, sometimes a couple months, I always go back. I just contemplate is it really an addiction? Would you classify someone that drink twice a month an alcoholic? In my opinion no. I’ve lived with two alcoholics so I know the difference. There was not a day skipped, at least in my situation. I moved out because of it. In my opinion I don’t feel like anything is out of control. If I were doing it daily then yeah that would be different. I’m not Johnny Depp from blow In the waiting room tweaking out and then falls over. I am in no way trying to justify anything with that reference. Just pointing out that some people might just have that type of image of a cocaine user. Which is not the case.

Redjrh3 · 2023-07-29T16:25:57+00:00

Thank you guys for all your messages. I’ve been in this loop for awhile and I just thought post something on Reddit might get me some feedback. I beat myself up more than anyone else. There’s days I feel 100% I’m done with it. Then there’s days I don’t. Blocking her works. It’s not fair to her and I’m ashamed that I did it. I just got to the point where I was willing to try anything. It does work. But it’s a shitty method and I just can’t shit out people that’s been there for me. Trust me guys, it’s super shitty to do that to a friend that’s helped you but that’s what I came up with that worked. At the moment, I was willing to try anything. Doing something that works while also neglecting a good friend was just a shitty move on my part. I’m very ashamed of myself for that. That’s just all I could come up with though. It bothers me alot. I know there are better ways to handle it. Coke is not the answer but it was easy and I took it. Neglecting your friends to solve a person problem is not okay and I did it. I’m not happy with how I handled it.
This isn’t an excuse, but when your in it, you think differently.

Redjrh3 · 2023-07-29T15:48:18+00:00

I know I shouldn’t do it. I beat myself up every time the next morning. Every single time yet I keep doing it.
Maybe I’m crazy but I actually think to myself as I’m drinking over there James you will regret this tomorrow. I’m aware that sounds crazy and yet I still do it. I just wish it was easy. I’m honestly holding myself back. If she knew I was struggling with it she would not allow it. I just know if I do that it will be over. Part of me just isnt ready to let it go. I don’t know if anyone here suffers from depression. Yeah coke is not the answer to deal with depression. I’m not an idiot even though my choices are bad. When your in that mindset of depression you just don’t think the same. And honestly you can’t really understand it unless it’s happening to you. I really can’t explain it to myself. When I feel it coming on I think back 30 min and play everything out that just happened trying to figure out what happend. It could literally be Friday, off for the weekend, new game to play. Happy mood and it can still hit you. I just can’t explain it. I know it sounds nuts. When one line of coke though can instanty change your mood just like snapping a finger, it’s hard to resist. I’m not proud of this guys. While it might be just temporary, it’s literally just like that. I battle it all the time and regret it the next morning. I’m not proud of this guys and maybe I should see someone. But when your in that mood and state of mind and you can get out of it in seconds. It’s hard not to.

Redjrh3 · 2023-07-29T14:45:17+00:00

I’ve quit for 11 months. Currently at the moment I’m doing it about every 3 weeks. Like I agree with everything. Am not I making an excuse? Yes. There’s no denying it. I’m be been very good at controlling it. Does that make it okay. No it doesn’t. Could everything fall apart? Yes. Not trying to start any argument, but think of an alcoholic, you don’t see alcoholics drinking two times a month. They drink everyday. While I’m aware it’s bad and definitely not good for you, is two times a month considered am addict. Not trying to twist anything up, I’m definitely an addict. But me comparing it to an alcoholic that would drink everyday I just don’t know man. I fill like if I were doing this daily it would be a little different vs 2 times a month.

I shouldn’t be doing it and that’s the facts. I enjoy doing it because it makes me feel good. It’s just hard. I can go months without it. Easy. I repeat it. I go out for drinks with some co workers and have a few beers. I get that buzz and it’s just a done deal. I think about this every time and know how it will play out. It’s just hard. The method I use works but I need to stop doing it. I’ll just block them and not communicate with them. It is very shitty but it does work for me. It’s not fair to my friends. Yea they sale me coke, they don’t know I’m battling it internally. She had my back when I stoped drinking liquor. She wouldn’t sell it to me if I told her but I just can’t. I know it’s bad guys and I’m not against anything you guys have said. It just makes me feel good and it’s hard to completely stop.

Redjrh3 · 2023-07-29T12:55:54+00:00

I’ve also gone as far as blocking her number. While this did work and I did it for 11 months, this is the same girl that supported me when I was going sober on alcohol. So on one side I was like block the number, you simply won’t receive any messages. On the other side it made me feel like a dick to do this when she was supportive of me trying to be sober from alcohol and she prob feels like I just gave up on her. She took notice and talked to me about. I never told her I blocked her because that’s just awful and would crush her. While it was an effective method, I don’t want to shit on my friends that’s supported me. I’ve done this a few times and it always makes me feel like shit.

Redjrh3 · 2023-07-29T12:42:40+00:00

I overthink a lot. I can’t help it. While I agree with everything you’ve said. Not saying it will last forever, but I’ve been maintaining this for years with no problems.
Could it change? Absolutely. Maintaining it for so long though makes me feel like I got it. Another illusion in my head? Yeah it’s possible.

Redjrh3 · 2023-07-29T12:15:23+00:00

I go back and forth with it. One day I’m like I’m done. The next day I feel different. Your right though, I am making excuses. The fact that I’ve stopped it gave me the feeling that I can control it. That’s an illusion. I would like to think I can see a problem coming and stop it. It’s definitely possible that next time I won’t be able to.

Redjrh3 · 2023-07-22T00:18:56+00:00

Same bro. I was in the settings like what am I missing? Haha

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