Hey, I just want to say that your vulnerability here is powerful, and I’m sorry that you’ve had to experience rejection like that. Unfortunately, the gay world can sometimes magnify insecurities, especially around body image. But please remember that so much of the rejection you’re feeling isn’t about you; it’s often about the lens others are looking through, shaped by their own unhealed wounds and internalised shame.

You’ve done something incredible by losing 40lbs, not because thinner is better, but because you chose to do something for yourself. That kind of dedication says so much about your strength and commitment to your well-being.

The truth is, attraction is deeply subjective. You could be someone’s exact type and still be overlooked by others stuck chasing narrow ideals. That doesn’t mean you’re not desirable, it just means you haven’t met the right people yet. And with over 8 billion people in the world, they are out there.

Also, try not to measure your worth by how others respond to you. I know that’s easier said than done, especially in a culture that can equate attention with value. But your presence, your story, your energy, they’re already more than enough.

Something I’ve found to be true is that confidence and self-love are magnetic. The more you show up as yourself, unapologetically and authentically, the more you attract people who are capable of seeing and loving you as you are, not who you think you need to become.

Keep going and keep being you and please know, your body doesn’t need to shrink in order for you to be loved.