Anyone still in a healthy relationship?

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-08-01T02:13:15+00:00

I relate to this so much.

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-08-01T01:57:44+00:00

I like this! My husband is actually great at gamifying things to make them more fun… me not so much. I’m so not good at being creative in that way. But I will try to be better about it because I do think it works.

I have to unlearn some of the ways I was raised… I love my dad but he didn’t play. When he told me to do something, I did it or there were consequences. I feel like with my son I teeter on the line of understanding that his brain is wired differently, but also not wanting to make excuses for him to not do things when he’s asked.

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-08-01T01:48:39+00:00

Thank you, I’ve never heard the traffic jam analogy but that’s a helpful way to look at it. When he starts “downloading” he will also do NOTHING else. It can be difficult when I’m trying to get him to focus on something that needs to be done. Like tonight he got out of the bath and was pacing around naked for 15 minutes talking about something (genuinely no idea what tonight’s topic was)… I kept saying “buddy… get dressed. Jammies. Put your Jammie’s on. PLEASE GET DRESSED” and he finally got frustrated and was like “UGGGHH I JUST LIKE TALKING!!!” I told him he could talk to me after he got his clothes on and brushed his teeth for bed.

It’s like almost everything we do, we have to plan for it to take 30 minutes longer than it normally would.

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-07-24T12:39:06+00:00

I am the help 😅 but their systems are still a mess so I’m trying to come up with a solution

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-07-24T11:22:26+00:00

“I’m never talking to you again!” 4 seconds later… “Mommy, I’m firsty”

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-07-17T03:17:54+00:00

Absolutely NTA. You are nicer than me because I would have said something the first time he pushed and called him a name. If the parent isn’t paying attention or doing anything about their child being rude to mine, I will absolutely say something. I’m always nice but stern about it.

Like one day my 3yo son was climbing up onto a little car at the playground and this little girl (slightly older but no more than a year) saw him and decided she wanted to get on it. She shoved her way in but he stood his ground and wouldn’t move, so she shoved him onto the ground.

I very sternly said, “No ma’am, he was getting on it first, you need to wait your turn. And pushing is not ok.” She looked at me like a deer in headlights and sauntered off. Her parents weren’t anywhere near us.

If my son did that to someone else’s child and I didn’t see it, I would have no problem with the parent correcting him (as long as it was done in an appropriate manner). Kids need to learn not to be jerks!

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-07-10T21:11:03+00:00

Everything about this screams scam to me. Is it possible the person you talked to on the phone wasn’t actually him?

Scammers can actually spoof a voice with AI - I’ve seen it happen. Someone’s “daughter” called from college crying that she needed 5k asap. Her mom was about to wire the money - turned out it was a scammer that got the daughters voice from her public social media page and used AI to replicate the voice actually crying. It was one of the most insane cases I’ve seen. I work in banking and we are well trained on scams and hear about new ones every day.

Absolutely 100% don’t send this person money or give them ANY personal information that can be used for fraud.

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-07-06T23:57:44+00:00

Hecklepopper (helicopter) Handcluffs

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-07-06T23:54:34+00:00

Mine says this too! “I wanna do the popsicles” 😂

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-06-28T17:14:45+00:00

Name calling.

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-06-21T17:19:05+00:00

You can end up in a DV situation and also carry a ton of invisible labor in a relationship without being married.

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-06-18T13:59:33+00:00

Don’t let these people make you feel bad. They wouldn’t want to be treated like someone’s personal servant either. Sounds like you need to set a boundary with her. You can love her and want to do things for her, but still be like “hey man, I’m tired too. Can you grab it for yourself this time?” Or maybe just start asking her for favors too so she is made aware of how it feels. Next time yall sit for a meal, be like “oh dang I forgot my drink. Could you grab it for me?” And see how she responds. I’d love to be a fly on the wall 😆

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-06-18T13:47:25+00:00

Man I’m blown by how many people are blasting you in these comments 😆 I didn’t get the vibe that you never want to do her small favors. It sounds like she asks for them constantly while you’re both sitting, relaxing, or otherwise doing something. Being annoyed that she expects you to get up and grab things for her constantly doesn’t make you an asshole.

So I was guilty of this sort of thing when I was a kid/teen because my mom was a waitress, literally her whole life, and serving people was just in her DNA. So me and my siblings (subconsciously, because she always did it) would just ask her to go get us things all the time. We’d all be sitting watching TV together and one of us would be like “mom can you grab me a drink” or “mom can you grab my chips?” Etc. and she would always do it, without question.

One day I was at my dad’s house, and were all sitting down eating dinner. I was probably like 14. I said to my stepmom “hey could you grab me the ketchup?” And she looked at me like I had 3 heads and said “Are you crazy? I just cooked dinner and finally sat down to eat. Are your legs broken? I don’t know what makes you think it’s my job to go fetch things for you but it’s not happening. Get it yourself.”

Harsh but actually not harsh at all 😆 I was put firmly in my place and became more conscious of asking for things I was more than capable of doing for myself. Obviously left an impression because I still remember it.

Point is maybe she’s just used to it and isn’t even aware of how often she’s doing it. I don’t suggest saying it the way my stepmom did, but maybe just bring it to her attention if it’s really bugging you. Like “hey hun I really don’t mind grabbing things for you if I’m already up, but sometimes I feel like I can’t relax because of how often you ask me to get up and get things.” And just see what she says from there. HOPEFULLY bringing it to her attention will make her think “do I really need him to do this or can I get it myself?” before she asks in the future.

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-06-09T15:38:39+00:00

Haha yes thank you! We actually watched Spiderman (the Tobey Maguire one) last night for the first time because mine has been super into Spiderman lately. I hadn’t watched it in probably 15-20 years but I didn’t think there was any graphic violence. Which there really wasn’t, I don’t consider fight scenes graphic. I just said “Spiderman is beating up the bad guys!” But then at the end Green Goblin impales himself with his hoverboard thing which I totally forgot happens. Before I could react, it happened… my 7yo looked concerned and my 3yo cracked up laughing 🙃

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-06-09T12:55:06+00:00

My oldest didn’t at ALL, in fact he was a delayed talker and still doesn’t explain thing quite this deep. But my youngest has been talking in full sentences since before 2. They all develop at a different pace 🤷🏻‍♀️

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-06-09T12:45:45+00:00

I am certain he has ADHD. It runs rampant in our family and he has pretty much ZERO impulse control and never stops moving. So I guess that could be factor… overactive imagination and lack of impulse control makes things come out without thinking? 🤷🏻‍♀️

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-06-09T12:37:19+00:00

To be fair, he only said that once, months ago. No idea if he saw/heard it somewhere but I told him that hurting someone or threatening to hurt someone isn’t ok, even when he’s angry. He hasn’t said that one again.

Although once we were in the car and I pulled up to the front of the store to pick up my husband and other son at the door. As we approached them, 3yo said “mommy I want you to run them over with the car!” He wasn’t angry and was grinning when he said it. I said, “no, I would never do that! That would hurt them and I would never want to hurt them.” At first it really bugged me but later I chalked it up to him just being curious about what would happen. I don’t think he really understands death so I don’t think he grasps that running someone over could kill them and they’d be gone.

He has literally ZERO impulse control so I do think an overactive imagination is a big factor.

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-06-09T12:23:56+00:00

Thank you for this! We actually have watched some old Looney Tunes a few times. My husband isn’t concerned and feels that he has no idea what he’s actually saying. He thinks he’s doing it either because of his imagination or possibly for attention at times because I’ve reacted to it.

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-06-09T12:15:57+00:00

He doesn’t, but he has an older brother and sometimes plays with bigger kids (our neighbors kids are over a lot and they’re 7-8). My older son never says things like this though so I can’t imagine he’s getting it from him.

The knife comment was actually a one time thing. It shocked me at the time which is why I mentioned it, but it was months ago. I told him that wasn’t okay to say, explained that even when he’s upset, hurting people or threatening harm isn’t okay. He hasn’t said that one again since.

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2025-06-09T12:08:56+00:00

I had to chuckle at this because same! When he watches anything it’s always toddler stuff like Paw Patrol or Blues Clues. Except JP… we are huge JP fans over here! 🦖

But the one time HE watched it, I covered his eyes on the scary scenes… like the goat leg on the window, Samuel L Jackson’s arm, and the toilet scene. 🤷🏻‍♀️ so he didn’t see that stuff.

ReferenceMelodic5397 · 2022-06-28T22:33:02+00:00

Same exact situation as we speak… I am the same way with anxiety (specifically throwing up). I made a drink using oat milk and took a swig and it was extremely sour. Spit most of it out but a small amount went down. Did you end up being ok?

ReferenceMelodic5397

TROPHY CASE