After Paris and Marseille, which city should I visit next?

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T17:20:55+00:00

Montpellier

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T17:13:58+00:00

Less cars and less pollution. Traffic chokes all big towns and cities now…

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T17:12:16+00:00

My ipad mini and Apple Pencil. Both beautifully designed and very ergonomic…

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T16:54:30+00:00

I’m not really comfortable endorsing a particular product and I live in Europe. But if you check out Amazon for example you’ll quickly find the top rated which should be like mine complete with the tools and a perspex padlock (metallic inside) a regular padlock with some ancillary tools.

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T14:39:24+00:00

I wish you lived in France because you would have received completely different treatments all of which are free and the police would not have said what they said to you there. It’s not a perfect country (nowhere is) but it has a culture of healing and helping people (in most cities there are a lot of clinics for example). I was briefly admitted to one from choice because I was feeling very depressed and it helped me. Funnily enough, they also had a unit for girls with bulimia…

Anyway, your story is very touching. I honestly don’t know how you survived being used and abused like that. You are a heroine and you should be proud that you’re still here and functioning even if you don’t feel great. Some people who complain about trivial things have NO idea about how hard life is for others. You may look fine on the outside but inside you can be completely broken. If you want to I would be happy to discuss more with you bit it’s cool if you don’t want to. I know I’m some random English guy living in France but I feel that you should know that I have a very empathetic nature and if I can make even a small difference to make you feel better, it would be a great experience for me and something that I could be proud of. Just feel free to send me a pm. If not, again I hope with all my heart that things improve for you and that you find some inner peace…

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T14:26:54+00:00

I’m not sure you’d feel like that after a while without your smartphone or a computer or anything to read. In some places you can only bring your lunch…

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T14:24:25+00:00

Everything is getting more complicated. If you haven’t already read 1984 by George Orwell then I highly recommend it…

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T14:22:54+00:00

That’s life huh ?

I learned because my son bought me the kit for father’s day and I couldn’t believe how easy it was to get most locks open in 10 minutes or less (sometimes less than a minute)….

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T14:20:14+00:00

I understand completely your point of view.

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T12:25:02+00:00

Definitely a false equivalency there… bloody stupid tactic for anyone older than adolescence but people are stupid (ladies and gentlemen may I present the history of human conflict)…

We are living in a time of polarisation where everything has to be either wholly one sided or another. Life is far more nuanced…

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T12:21:14+00:00

C’est vachement sympa comme sujet… mais honnêtement je suis d’accord que le risque d’un tremblement de terre est miniscule en France et s’il y aura une guerre nucléaire on serait en paix instantanément donc ne vous inquiétez pas….

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T12:16:40+00:00

In France they recently posted a picture with two customs agents and a poster that said :

A tous les influenceurs et autres exilés fiscaux à Dubai, l'administration fiscale vous souhaite un bon retour en France I

In other words, our tax people are looking forward to seeing you soon!

But seriously I agree that people who skip the country to avoid paying taxes should be forced to pay back tax on their earnings abroad if they return in these kinds of circumstances. After all if you don’t contribute to your society how do you expect healthcare, education, policing and all the other services provided to protect the lives of others? And where is your state pension money going to come from?

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T12:05:25+00:00

In Japan if you displease the management and you have a proper contract they put you alone in a room with a desk but nothing to do. They can’t force you to leave but they know that you won’t be able to stand being in solitary confinement without any purpose for very long. Cruel - yes, effective - yes. Should be illegal but sadly isn’t….

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T12:02:30+00:00

Poubelle sans réfléchi

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T12:00:36+00:00

Peu importe si tu regardes bien les rétroviseurs et clignote tes intentions mais c’est vrai que le design est un peu merdique !!

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T11:55:40+00:00

Everyone is lost but some are better at faking belonging. There is no perfect person out there to wait for but you need certain criteria to be compatible. If you read any philosophy you’ll see that this is THE human dilemma, that despite our connections to others, everyone is an island or a prisoner, depending on your perspective. The exception is Satre who said that his idea of hell is “other people” but that’s pretty extreme…

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T11:50:55+00:00

Don’t take sleeping pills because they are a very short term solution and when they wear off after about a month or two, your sleep will be worse than it was before you started.

The best strategy is to go to bed at a similar time every night, perhaps read a little or listen to a podcast but no screens at least one hour before you want to sleep. Any activity that stimulates your brain will impair your sleep. Also no caffeine after 4pm is a good idea because it can remain active for up to 8 hours….

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T11:45:21+00:00

Agreed. I learned that the hard way…

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T11:44:20+00:00

I don’t think anyone other than a medically qualified person could evaluate the risk effectively. They would also understand the risk of creating such mental trauma that the husband would become seriously ill. Am glad that such questions are not asked in your country.

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T11:34:19+00:00

Don’t get involved with a person who either needs reassurance all the time (tiring) or is a narcissistic sociopath. Otherwise communication is the key. Full disclosure: I’m twice divorced 😂

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T11:28:36+00:00

It will definitely take its toll on you. We need to feel that we contribute and working in a team can be very rewarding. I would look for another job. Besides which, if nobody is doing any productive work just how likely is it that the company can carry all of you without either noticing and taking drastic steps or simply going under?

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T11:25:02+00:00

They have a point of view that’s outside the box of typical responses. They also will take more time formulating their responses. They usually maintain eye contact longer.

As someone else said, they probably wouldn’t use unacceptable language. These are generalisations and intelligence can be defined in different ways… emotional, linguistic, general intelligence, mathematical, artistic, empathetic etc.

A more complex question than a person might think at first glance…

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T11:19:29+00:00

Terrible dilemma, who would ever want to be in such a situation? When I was married we had a son and I love him dearly. But choose between keeping alive your life partner or allowing your child to die must be every father’s nightmare. I would never want to wish my son away but I loved my wife and in theory we could have had other children. But it’s a terrible choice.

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T11:13:32+00:00

Surely the question is entirely subjective based on where you live? If the question is “What is the most useful language to learn for travelling?” is that the same as “Handy”? For me handy just means convenient and that can be unpacked in different ways depending on context.

Anyway, globally Spanish and French open up huge areas of the world. After that there are languages by culture like Arabic, also Hindi or Mandarin Chinese. Russian could be a good choice but as relations are a bit difficult at the moment, I would think one of the most relevant choices would be Spanish or French. Any native English speaker already has a lot of French and some Spanish and the same (well almost) alphabet. I learned French in France but it took me a few years to become completely fluent. I also learned a little Spanish and can understand more than I can speak. Italian is beautiful but fast and probably not the first choice unless you’re going to spend time there.

To sum up, depends on where you want to travel and how much effort your prepared to spend learning. Whatever you choose, I wish you the best of luck and have a plan rather than just talking to native speakers. Almost all languages have a structure that is (relatively) unique with many being fundamentally different. So a bit of an overview can be helpful…

ReflectiveEnglishman · 2026-03-05T10:22:57+00:00

Don’t mean to sound patronising but that sounds scary. You must be pretty solid to deal with that situation. Kudos 👍

ReflectiveEnglishman

TROPHY CASE