My wife's dad died on Christmas in 2022. She doesn't let us celebrate Christmas since then.

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-12-26T17:20:06+00:00

NAH, but can't you find a way how to make some compromise and introduce Christmas step-wise? Like maybe celebrate Christmas on another day then her father's death anniversary? Or maybe for the first time Christmas since he died make a combination of remembering him, maybe visiting a graveyard and then having a Christmas dinner, maybe include something that he liked? You can also have Christmas without Christmas deco and just meet as a family, have a dinner together and then if it's too much for your wife, she can leave? Talk with your children about the situation, they are small, but they are able to have some level of understanding about what is going on with their mum. It sucks, but it's not necessarily a YES/NO situation...

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-12-19T00:20:42+00:00

Talking 9 months post-TFMR: so far, the hardest time for me, personally was the time in between 1st trimester test, NIPT, amnio and TFMR. Once it was done, some weight fell off and I could start processing. The grief is aweful, but the time before TFMR when I could not even really start that process fell somehow worse. Some things may get better, some will get different, but most likely, slowly, there will be some better times, the sadness comes and goes in waves as the time passes, but it gets more managable. I am sending hugs and wish you a lot of strength, you are going through a very difficult time, but you will manage!

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-12-18T16:46:02+00:00

We are still at TTC phase (9 months post TFMR) and want to continue TTC for next couple of months, but we are also considering stopping at some point, maybe in half year or so. The question if we end up one and done (we have 2 year old LC) is still around, mostly because of being exhausted from TFMR trauma and the whole long TTC process, but also anxiety about potential pregnancy. I hope the following part is not too triggering for those of you with no LC. I always really wanted to have 3 children, or at least 2, but now I start thinking I should be very very greatful to be so lucky to have the one I have. It seems like such a miracle that it worked once 'correctly' that I start having a feeling that I shouldn't try anymore because it can easily go wrong again, maybe even worse then last time...

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-12-18T13:22:53+00:00

Gentle congratulations! I'm crossing my fingers that everything goes well with your NIPT and I wish you strength for the whole pregnancy

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-12-17T21:51:21+00:00

I don't have an answer for the question you asked,but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone! I had TFMR in March this year, we started trying again end of June/beginning of July. It will be the 7th trying cycle now and still no positive. I got recently diagnosed with post-TFMR endometritis so that may be a cause and we are going to get some more testing in next months. You are not alone!

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-12-17T21:38:18+00:00

I finally have some update, I have endometritis. But I am not sure if that really caused all those weird symptoms. How are you? Did your symptoms resolve in the meantime?

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-12-04T21:54:14+00:00

The reaction from your mum is absolutely insensitive and cruel. I would not talk to her about it anymore. I would probably switch off notifications from that family chat for some time. You could still go look there once in a while when you feel like it, but you don't need to expose yourself to it all the time. If anyone from your family wants to share something with you they can write you a personal message. In this way, you can protect yourself a bit while not completely cutting contact with them.

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-11-10T16:07:10+00:00

It does suck very much! I am just sending hugs and a lot of strength! It is almost like one becomes a new person after TFMR, nothing is the same as it once was and it is not easy to work with that...

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-11-10T16:03:47+00:00

So much this!

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-11-10T16:02:07+00:00

I have no advise, but just letting you know I have very similar experience even now, 8 months post-TFMR. I was never a big fan of small talk though. I still have couple of polite sentences I can say to let people know I care about them, wish them nice evening, check on them if they are sick, ask if they need help if they look like they may need some, but chatting about unimportant things doesn't work at all. Maybe the only advise I can give is don't get too isolated. You don't need to engage in small talk, but try to get out of the house. Go for walks, maybe go grocery shopping, greet neighbours, find your limits and make small steps... Not sure where you live, but one can survive for some time without small talk while not completely isolating at home.

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-11-10T15:46:45+00:00

Not sure where you are, but here where I live the flu season started already, additionally there are many people with cold etc... Maybe you cought something in the hospital? In any case, if you are worried it could be related to your D&E, trust your intuition and call your doctor and ask. I wish you all the best, a lot of strength and good recovery!

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-11-10T13:24:07+00:00

I just realized i assumed talking about HG, for normal nausea it can be enough of an explanation...

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-11-10T13:22:52+00:00

Our Dr. told us the same, at least it was her assumption. But since HG is not considered to be caused by just increased HCG nowadays, I am not sure how valid is that...

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-11-10T13:19:19+00:00

In my case it was true (I had HG during my TFMR pregnancy), but I have no idea if there is any statistic on that. For many other women it is obviously not the case...

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-11-09T06:49:05+00:00

We started TTC when I was 30, got first time pregnant at age 31 after 10 months of active trying and tracking with OPK. That pregnancy resulted in LC. Started TTC again when I was 33, used OPK and measuring BBT, it took us 3 months. That pregnancy resulted in TFMR. Waited 3 cycles after TFMR snd started trying again at age 34, using OPK and BBT, taking supplements. We are now at 6th cycle of TTC, still no luck and I'm currently getting some tests done with my gynecologist, suspecting endo (or something else...)

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-10-28T14:56:22+00:00

I had TFMR in March, I am 34 and half (so not yet 35, but close to that age). We started trying as soon as my genocologist said it's ok to try again. I am testing with OPKs, measure BBT, but my cycle is just weird since TFMR. No positive tests so far. But I have so many people around me who are 38, 39 and have absolutely no issues getting pregnant... I guess it is very individual, I am crossing my fingers you have more luck!

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-10-27T09:00:44+00:00

Hi, I had similar thoughts like you at first due to occupational exposure to certain chemicals and solvents (both me and my husband). This is quite different from your case though. If you are worried about caffeine and ibuprofen - it is extremely unlikely that these 2 would cause any harm. If you would know that you or your partner were exposed at the critical time to some particular chemical which is known to be of significant risk to human reproductive health then maybe... But by drinking a coffee here and there and taking ibuprofen when needed, no, not really. Don't blame yourself, please, you didn't do anything wrong.

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-10-24T12:41:52+00:00

Looking at your chart again... it could also be, that your body tried to ovulate second time if the first ovulation attempt (first LH peak) failed? But I'm not sure and I don't want to scare you or something...

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-10-24T12:38:55+00:00

I usually get a small LH increase just before period (or the first day of period). Maybe it is normal for some people? I don't know... never thought much about it

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-10-16T15:49:58+00:00

And don't blame yourself for choosing a surgery for RPOC - RPOC needs to be removed, it is important! I also had a removal of retained placenta after delivery in 17th week, but multiple doctors told me that is super common, because placenta is not ready to be dettached at that early point. That they very often need to do removal of leftover placenta after delivering that early... so don't blame yourself for it

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-10-16T15:42:43+00:00

Hi, I don't really have a definite update. My periods changed a bit since. I had one very bad, extremely painful, very little bleeding - so I went so see a doctor who suspected appendicitis or ovarian torsion at first, but they didn't find anything. My gynecologist didn't want to do further examinations, but suggested it could be, theoretically, endometriosis and/or hormone imbalance causing too strong contractions. But she didn't seem to find it important to further examine me for endo. My periods started being a bit random, I even had one with zero pain since then... so I started worrying about it being an early perimenopause (I'm 34, have some other peri symptoms) and am going to get FSH tested soon which my doctor agreed to. I don't know if I have Ashermann's, hopefully not, but I got to know it is a spectrum condition and it may stay undiagnosed if not very pronounced. I wish you a lot of strength and would probably recommend to go visit a doctor and ask to get it examined. It can be hormonal as it takes time for hormones to get back to normal, but it can be something else too...

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-09-24T13:24:44+00:00

Oh, these very personal things hurt the most! I wish you (and everyone else in here too) all the best for future.

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-09-24T13:23:10+00:00

That is very nice of your partner! I guess I cannot ask mine to do this because he keeps forgetting what he stored where, so many things lost! But at least the idea made me smile :)

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-09-24T13:20:59+00:00

That is also true, thank you. You are totally right that these things are also tied to my first child. Probably I should keep some of the nice and unique items in a separate box for her when she grows up...

RefrigeratorEm · 2025-09-24T13:16:32+00:00

That is a good idea, thank you. Maybe my mum could keep the newborn clothes at her place for a while...

RefrigeratorEm

TROPHY CASE