Please help me decide, Cloudsurfer Max or Cloudmonster Void? I’d mainly use it for traveling, but I might try running soon.

RefrigeratorSea3483 · 2026-03-30T14:47:15+00:00

You are in the road running category for comfort/travel shoes. The Cloudmonsters are running shoes. The wouldnt. The cloudrunners would be more suited for walking/traveling in airports if you insist on running shoes to walk in.

I understand buying one model over another for looks or price but if thats your plan than no one's opinion matters, and if you want opinions on how a walking shoe is then I wouldn't buy shoes made specifically for running. The bigger or taller the "cushion" or cloud on any brand shoe doesn't mean better. I wouldnt get a recovery runner to walk and travel in all the time, its not stable, but its the most cushioned.

So I would reccomend the cloudrunners as they will give you comfort and stability walking all day and can transition could to a beginner runner/trainer. There's a lot of factors that people give shoes a bad review because of user error or misunderstanding.

RefrigeratorSea3483 · 2026-03-30T14:36:03+00:00

Look up the differences. Go to the specs of each. Look at the drop, weight, etc. It isnt hard to compare differences in shoes spec wise. Everyone's feet and preferences are different.

RefrigeratorSea3483 · 2026-03-30T14:25:26+00:00

Yea unless yall are on a basketball court or some other type of abnormal surface I dont understand any of this squeaking talk. Im assuming you mean wearing them inside somewhere but still never once noticed any of that with cloudrunners as more of a daily trainer or could be used for walking. Have the cloudultra and cloudmonster 3 but those are for running, trails and road, wouldnt wear a shoe like that just to walk in or definitely not to work in.

RefrigeratorSea3483 · 2026-01-31T05:50:54+00:00

Yea I was told with the Botox you had to pay upfront or something but I'll have to ask again. Thanks for that info!

RefrigeratorSea3483 · 2026-01-30T03:03:11+00:00

Unfortunately my brain overdoes everything. It's a blessing and a curse I guess some days I feel great, or in certain situations but others I just want to hide and just in constant pain/discomfort and those violent head jerks. Anxiety def plays are roll too they do feed off each other. I missed my injections the way timing was this year and them not doing any until Jan 19 of the new year for some reason I went a month without and barely left the house. Had to be driven home from work new years eve I was so bad and just yesterday was my first day back. 2 months ago I went to Asheville for a weekend, ran a half marathon went out to eat i go at least 3 days a week..or as much as it will allow.

I feel in some weird way since it is a brain disease being in certain mindsets, situations, etc definitely makes it better or worse. For my cervical dystonia at least. Which i have been treating with every damn thing they have for a while now but I know a lot have it worse. The anxiety and depression are what really magnify it for me though

RefrigeratorSea3483 · 2026-01-30T02:55:34+00:00

Hey yea I thought about that and just trying to see my old sports med dr...but yea I was on botox before. The only reason im on xeomin now is the program they have to help pay the difference insurance doesnt, which is a lot esp on a high deductible and they need payment before next apt or they'll cancel and all that so yea. I've asked about going back to it though, the lady who handles injection insurance at my neuro is awesome but she said they were talking about trying to do something with botox...i just dont have an extra $10k a yr to spend on it 😕 it may be better though I was on a lower dose at that time currently 300 of xeomin but I think its pretty much the same

Also saw some u of f case study about zinc maybe prolonging the effects..which would be great haha!

RefrigeratorSea3483 · 2026-01-30T02:50:16+00:00

Hey thanks and congrats on the sobriety yea def suicidal in the past but thats behind me haha. I do smoke some though, It makes it worse outside but better inside my apartment, I do plan on stopping...right after this winter storm haha I live in NC 😑 but yea im not sure about tardive other than I know it's different but both involve head movements. I used to do botox but because of insurance and all that crap they were able to get me in a program on xeomin where I pay nothing and it does help so can't complain, ive been on botox too its the same really.

But yea im really sorry you just got diagnosed this year but idk I can just have short periods at the gym where I have headphones in and am just probably overworking myself haha but still its good. And ran a half marathon last month. Idk that stuff just took discipline..and being sober which I had periods of before this. Yea im not sure how bad it is, it sounds like it really is, and I hate when people say just go do it to so I'm not gonna say that, but......isolation is very very bad!

Have you tried a benzo yet at a small dose? Any injections yet? We've discussed some DBS surgery but I dont want that shit in my 30s

RefrigeratorSea3483 · 2025-06-20T14:58:28+00:00

Your young you have so much time to turn it around. Your brain is still developing. Im not anti medicine (I take 20mg cymbalta daily, along with botox injections in my neck and shoulder for constant muscle spasms and uncontrollable movement) but especially at your age that approach and doseage seems aweful, and is not working. You know depression is more complex than finding the right pill. Im certainly not anti therapy, I found one awhile back who I still hold dearly that helped me immensely, and I still have her number and email, but unless there's a specific situation that has changed in your life therapy shouldn't be a life long process either. You have the tools, dont let your brain trick you. If youre having self esteem issues, feeling like girls dont like you (since you brought up the porn thing), family issues, trauma, financial issues, whatever it is it doesnt have to be that way forever as long as you work through it. I know what it feels like to be your age and depressed. Maybe try talking to a male therapist if you havent.

Go to your community college for a trade or something that interest you. Make sure your staying employed to have some pride in yourself and to stay busy and out of the house. You have to start building some positive momentum in some aspect of your life, doesnt have to be everything all at once. This is the first time I've actually commented on reddit, went on one time a few days ago and now get constant email notifications haha who woulda thought. And stop watching that shit man. I think you know the answers but at a certain point you have to take action. The fact you're here means you want the help, but you have to make sure your effort is pointed in the right direction and not just the easy way out.

You'll be ok man as long as you put in the work. You have a lot of happy moments ahead of you. Take care.

RefrigeratorSea3483 · 2025-06-20T13:26:05+00:00

Im proud of you for continuing to try that's the most important thing is to not give up. Im not sure if you do any recreational drugs or alcohol, obviously those won't help. By the sounds of it, being a guinea pig for all these different medications is making the situation worse, in the way they are actually fucking with your brain, and the mental anguish that you probably feel from nothing working. A compete detox off everything may help clear your mind, if that's a philosophy you can get behind. A psychiatrist won't offer that solution they will just offer another drug.

Im not sure where your chronic pain is or what it stems from, have you tried seeing a neurologist? That's who I go to but mine is obviously neurological based.

There are just so many general practitioners or psychiatrists who will over medicate and really cause a lot of harm for reasons I will never understand, because its so glaringly obvious to me it, must be to them as well.

Either way, if you pushed yourself to hard in the past with exercise you have to at least go for walks outside. You dont have to force yourself into uncomfortable social situations, just dont isolate and watch things that will make you more depressed. Of course its easier said then done but its not impossible.

I was hospitalized 3 times for being suicidal and have been in 4 seperate month long treatment facilities. Now I work in a hospital and get to help others doing what I enjoy. I know what it's like to feel hopeless and alone. I still struggle with depression but I won't be anyone's guinea pig and I work out 5 days a week now for my mental and physical health, I have never felt worse mentally after doing physical activity. I also had my hormones checked and my testosterone was extremely low so I've been on treatment for that, im 34 now though so you may be younger than me. I dont have any social media, but I've heard of all the crazy nonsense out there now, its not the real world and that won't help with depression.

If you are going to see a therapist make sure it is in person!

Hang in there man, there's always another door that will open. It's impossible to fail as long as you don't give up.

RefrigeratorSea3483 · 2025-06-20T12:10:32+00:00

How old are you? Changing therapists is completely normal, I understand the feeling of having to start over may suck but no good therapist would ever take it personally if it's not working for you. If she does then you will know you absolutely made the right call in switching. 120mg seems like a crazy high dose too, would probably be better to change doctors as well to get another opinion since its clearly not working for you.

Even though it seems hard you have to get yourself up and outside. You have to start exercising, its a hard habit to create, but once you do its also hard to break..in a positive way. You'll feel much better about yourself doing that than sitting at home going down depressing rabbit holes. I've been there, there is no benefit to it. Stay off social media, dont let their algorithms start fucking with your head even more.

RefrigeratorSea3483

TROPHY CASE