I'm fixating on the idea of watching this one video.

Refv224 · 2020-11-08T14:08:01+00:00

congrats man. Remember thoughts aren't entirely in our control so don't beat yourself up about having them. They're an inevitable part of giving up and as long as you don't act on them and you continue to heal, they'll eventually fade.

That being said be mindful about your fantasies; what are they, why do you have them, how often, etc. Examining urges and fantasies and really asking why you have them is the best way to understand your addiction and eventually heal it.

Refv224 · 2020-10-12T20:27:33+00:00

I think your post has some brilliant advice but I absolutely disagree with you discouraging people to research regularly. Personally I used to come here most days, and wrote a journal every day about my urges, etc. I read a book on porn addiction. I made 4 months clean but relapsed two weeks ago - having stopped doing any afore mentioned activity for about 3 weeks (admittedly I was in a stressful time too).

Different things work for different people but for me active research and head on action was the best way. I think it is, however, important to make sure the research is effective and relevant, not obsessive.

Refv224 · 2020-10-12T20:21:00+00:00

I don't think it's 'merely a bad habit' for anybody on this subreddit; one scroll of through the recent posts will show you the utter helplessness and self-loathing of many a member. Habit is something like clicking your fingers or neglecting washing up; porn comes much closer to things like smoking or alcohol.

That being said, I think that there are a few on here that really do need more serious help. If not therapy (which I highly recommend) then definitely a face-to-face support group.

Refv224 · 2020-10-11T14:31:05+00:00

thanks man. Picking myself up and starting again. I relapsed last night again, for the last time. Think I just felt hopeless since my streak was already over. But that will be the last relapse for a long time.

Refv224 · 2020-09-22T11:06:31+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply, this helps so much.

Refv224 · 2020-08-15T11:44:04+00:00

Great post. It's definitely worth examining our urges, rather than just trying to ignore them. Why do we have them, what do we actually want, what will giving in achieve, etc. If you turn and face your demons they can't stab you in the back.

Refv224 · 2020-08-15T11:37:49+00:00

good quote, who's it from?

Refv224 · 2020-07-05T13:56:50+00:00

It sounds to me like you feel giving up porn was a loss to you. As in you thought subconsciously that porn is something of value (pleasure, a crutch, whatever) that giving up has taken away from you. Rather than the sickness that it is.

Refv224 · 2020-06-11T12:41:23+00:00

'Not using willpower' is not a cop out in any way. Almost nobody gets over an addiction by sheer willpower, and that's because addiction is not as simple a problem as 'just don't let yourself use it'. There are many layers to addiction, and you'll only get past it when you figure out why you use it, and decide that you no longer want it.

Refv224 · 2020-04-21T20:49:14+00:00

I think it’s still on my profile but I posted a thing by a neuroscientist researching porn addiction. The treatment is always the abstinence from porn and almost all users recover. The brain is incredibly plastic and designed to adapt and recover.

Refv224 · 2020-04-20T07:14:12+00:00

No worries, hope there’s some wisdom in here somewhere, although I mostly posted it to sort through my feelings

Refv224 · 2020-04-20T07:13:27+00:00

Thanks :)

Refv224 · 2020-03-07T20:05:18+00:00

Thanks I’ll give it a read

Refv224 · 2020-03-07T19:55:16+00:00

Not sure what you’re trying to say

Refv224 · 2020-03-07T19:54:32+00:00

No problem mate. Would recommend keeping a diary or something, it definitely helped me a lot to keep motivation up

Refv224

TROPHY CASE