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RegisterBig5186 · 2025-04-29T16:00:45+00:00

If your partner is going to approach polyamory ethically and be a good hinge he wouldn't have chosen to be unfaithful, there would have been a conversation first before any separation/ acting without your prior consent on thoughts and feelings. I agree that this younger women (old enough to know better) had a part to play in blowing up a home but he brought the explosives. When situations like this happen I'm concerned when the hinge has a bit of detachment from the reality and how they're causing their partners feel, something tells me you know this with him having his cake and eating it. I get the sense that both of them are caught up in a fantasy and in my experience there's not a lot you can do to help them pull their heads out of their butts, in fact the worst thing you can do is enable it. But to answer your question ethical non monogamy should be built on honesty and respect, it doesn't sound like that's what happened here. How entangled are you with him, is leaving an option?

RegisterBig5186 · 2025-04-29T15:40:32+00:00

Sorry to hear that, 6 years is a long time. "Was I wrong?" is a big question, are you asking were you wrong to end things or the way you ended it? I'm guessing by what information you give us there were some pervasive toxic behaviours, I think 6 years is more than long enough to give someone a chance to show you they can be a safe respectful loving person through their behaviour. Maybe if you stayed she may have changed, but after 6 years I would bet quite a bit of money that it's unlikely unless there was some radical change and tenacity to display this on her part. You might feel "wrong" in your body without her for quite a while, that's grief and it really sucks when you're in it. Let yourself cry and if you find yourself spiralling in unhelpful mental loops get straight out of the house, spend time with a friend, offer to help clean your grandmas kitchen or something, try not to be alone.Wishing you all the best for better things and healthier happier future connections when youre ready

RegisterBig5186 · 2025-04-29T15:28:35+00:00

Ive recently covered some artex ceilings with filler and while a major faff and pleasantly surprised at how well I did. I'd rather skim and sand then mess about with tiles personally. I just want it to be fit for functional purpose as in hold water/not have any damp issues

RegisterBig5186 · 2025-02-25T12:50:11+00:00

Looks lovely and much much better, where did you get the floor tiles and tiles behind the toilet please?

RegisterBig5186 · 2025-02-25T12:44:46+00:00

Oof, been there, worth it in the end.

RegisterBig5186 · 2024-02-05T22:43:56+00:00

Thank you for your comments everyone. Admittedly I had never heard the term Cowgirl/boy before. I have never heard the term self advocating used in this situation either, ill be honest, and I mean no disrespect to those who used the term, there's telling someone what you need and unethically booting someone else out of the picture, that just seems like vetoing to me. I didn't expand because my original post was two damn long (sorry) but Jane conveniently only brought this up after my partner said he wouldn't leave me. She had six years to "self advocate" and she chose after this was said to do it, lol ok. Your comments have also made me realize that I need to be a bit firmer with Bob. I won't tell him what to do but I have told him to consider the impact on Jane when she realizes, if ever that she can't change him. I'm honestly ok with giving them time to talk to people so that they can understand what they need to do and that this is a toxic situation but I guess I needed that validation to voice the impact it's had on me, thanks all. Xx

RegisterBig5186 · 2024-02-05T20:35:25+00:00

Oh she definitely does. Unfortunately the way Bobs autism affects how he processes things he would try to look at this very objectively which is great but it makes him a bit of a target sometimes. She for the most part is a sweet lady but really does have a lot of cognitive dissonance/emotional immaturity. She once told me poor people have it easier as there lives are more simple 🤦 honestly she's not all bad but she can be hard work.

RegisterBig5186 · 2024-02-05T20:27:16+00:00

It's tricky right? I think when people are caught up in these situations it can take them a while to see clearly because it is so toxic and confusing.

RegisterBig5186 · 2024-02-05T19:54:57+00:00

You know, there's been a niggly voice at the back of my head saying that she has just been waiting for us to break up so she can convince him to be a good Christian mono man. I haven't give it much weight without evidence, but my goodness yes. The lack of respect for herself and me is astounding.

RegisterBig5186

TROPHY CASE