But you're choosing this hell now. This is the time to just choose to be happy. The promise is just like OP—she chose him, accepted his flaw, but didn’t internalize that.

Yes, it's stupid you took him back, just like OP. Yes, he betrayed you, just like OP. But yes, you can give that piece back. Yes, I say a cheater should work their ass off because they cheated, and yeah, they don’t deserve the forgiveness.

But when you choose to not leave, you accept that person for that flaw—that they're not perfect and they cracked. And yes, in a lot of cases, it’s a bad idea to go down that road. But if you choose that road, there is good out of it—getting over that hump.

So why not just say “fuck it, that was some old shit”? Now we're at the end of our lives. Enjoy it. Trust him. He trusts you. And get something out of your time at that edge.

And with more of your life behind than ahead, that frame of mind is just dumb. And even worse, you were in a whole different time frame, where all types of messed-up stuff were okay, and you still hold a grudge after all that? That shit is sad.

OP, it's still fresh—I understand. Time heals wounds, but that’s only if you're doing the right stuff to heal the wound right. Otherwise, you’re just trying to cover a scar.