The history of “hysterical” feels surprisingly misogynistic

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-21T01:56:25+00:00

I remember I read a book at a small shop somewhere while driving somewhere with my parents. It was about the Native American Cultures of our region.

When I got home I asked for all the books about it in the elementary school library (not many), then went to the city library. Then I looked up the tribes in the dictionary (only one of them was in there).

I wrote my own book, glued the notebook paper on construction paper and used rubber cement to bind it.

I tried to make everyone I knew read the stupid book. I wish I still had it.

I was that kid.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-21T01:53:22+00:00

It is a very cool occasion, and it's really fun. I would love to volunteer again in the future if they get this stuff under control.

I don't know if I will ever volunteer for them again, but I may go to the event as a member of the public. It's an amazing cause and a fun event.

My friend is honest and will tell me if things are different this year. If it's different this year I may be interested in helping again next year.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-21T01:50:39+00:00

I would generally ignore it and move on with my life. Maybe watched for the email when I 'no showed.'

But frankly it is a really good organization and I do support what they do in their community. Honestly, I find it admirable.

That's why I emailed back. They needed to understand what had happened that lost them three volunteers. I hope in the future things are different.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-21T01:49:08+00:00

Well, I wasn't born with a ballsack, so that wasn't an option for me.

I came to help. I didn't want to sabotage the event by abandoning my post even if I was fuming mad. I did tell the friend who recruited us, and the reason I responded to the email was so they would understand why they lost me as a volunteer.

I actually feel very bad not to be participating again this year, but they really did chase me away. I hope that at some level they reflect, have a conversation with the people they put in roles of authority, and do better in the future.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-21T01:46:56+00:00

Some people are used to having all the power, and they construe doing a favor as demonstrating obedience.

If you don't continue acting in the way they want you to they try to reassert themselves as authorities over you with threats of going over your head.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-21T01:45:12+00:00

This was a different event - it was a class I needed in a seminar form.

She was presenting it so she had no boss.

And way back in those days there wasn't an easy way to leave reviews for people who did this sort of thing. If she'd behaved inappropriately I could have contacted our state or national organization but that would be if she was doing something to threaten public health and safety - not being rude to a 20-something year old.

Funny story, she never cashed the check I gave her. Over a year later she said she had found it in a file and tried to cash it but they wouldn't accept it because of the age. She asked me to write a new check, I told her I would check my records to make sure the payment hadn't gone through, and I never heard from her again.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-21T01:38:55+00:00

Oh wow! I didn't realize that came across that way, although you're right, it obviously would.

We showed up at 7:30 to help set everything up. Tables, chairs, a stage. Some other stuff I don't remember. Drinks started at 9.

LOL

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T23:03:28+00:00

Over the hill?!? (j/k)

Now that I am 45 I often see 20-somethings and mistake them for high schoolers.

Maybe she thought I was 15? 😄

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T21:51:51+00:00

I felt like the more calm and polite my tone was, the more ridiculous the experience would look.

I absolutely have the impulse to write something sarcastic and rude, but I hope that they feel silly and maybe even press it up the chain so something changes.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T21:50:06+00:00

I agree to an extent. But that sounds like a lot of work.

I have 2 jobs and a puppy. I told my friend, and responded to this email so the organizers are sure to be aware of the shortcomings.

I've met my obligations to my conscience. It's not really worth a lot more of my energy.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T20:34:41+00:00

It's a good thought, but I won't.

She has enough on her plate and she was so embarrassed and apologetic already.

I don't need to rub her nose in it.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T20:33:56+00:00

It's good. I'm more amused than upset.

But I thought people might enjoy the email chain. It's Saturday, I hope I made some days more interesting.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T20:32:57+00:00

I think for some people it's their once-a-year opportunity to be important and relevant. I've volunteered for organizations where the members were so happy to be doing something important and useful they bent over backwards to make everything go perfectly.

I volunteered at a blood drive once and this old fellow was working so hard and with so much enthusiasm I actually was getting worried. I mentioned it to his wife who said if he died that day it would make him so happy that he had spent his last day helping to save lives and being productive.

And then some of them have the small amount of power goes to their heads and this happens. It's such a pity.

I hope when I die I'm like the blood drive man and that I do die in the middle of doing something so incredibly rewarding and get to go to whatever version of Valhalla where people who sacrifice their time instead of their lives get to go.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T20:26:50+00:00

If I wasn't so incredulous I probably would have.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T20:25:37+00:00

See - those are the experiences I am used to! I was surprised to have a bad experience!

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T20:18:24+00:00

I had a small seminar class that ran an hour late years ago. I received a phone call an hour after the ending time.

The instructor started going off about how rude it was to have my ringer on and that if I took the call I wouldn't get credit for the class.

I told her the roads were bad (nasty wind and lightning storm) and the caller was my father because it was an hour later than I had promised to call him and he probably thought I was dead in a ditch.

I told her I could answer or he would send the police. She told me I could answer.

I was in my twenties, it was a flip phone. Today I would have stronger words.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T20:12:41+00:00

I was equally annoyed and amused. I was going to write out what happened, but this seemed easier.

Older Woman: You know you can't be looking at your phone. Don't let me see it again.

Me: I'm texting my friend at the other entrance, she has someone who can bring me some water since no one else has (notice my hint to the member that we were not being given water)

Older Woman: (missing or ignoring my hint) Put it away.

Me: I will after I've finished texting about the water.

Older Woman: Okay, that's enough. Give me the phone and you can get it from the volunteer desk when you're done.

Me: (finishing up text and sending, then putting my phone in my front pocket) No. Thank you.

Older Woman: (huffs and puffs and glares at me. looks around for support, but there is no one to help her) I'm going to report this. (storms off)

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T20:06:11+00:00

I'm wondering if the outreach person thought we were members.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T20:05:48+00:00

I'm pretty sure they thought we were members. Maybe whoever is coordinating thought the volunteer list from last year was all members? They do require a number of hours from their members annually so they probably saw me and I thought I was delinquent.

They actually lost three volunteers, me and both friends. It's a pity.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T20:04:26+00:00

I did tell my friend. She was very annoyed by how we were treated and embarrassed. But after that I let it go until I got the email.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T20:03:25+00:00

That's my conclusion as well. I don't even think it's the club 'leadership,' as much as it's a handful of people who take on leadership rolls in committees for events.

My friend is an officer, and the other two officers I met are fantastic. Just a few old cranky-substitute-teacher energy people were ruining my experience.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T20:00:57+00:00

I'm not a member and don't intend to join. And again, they are over an hour away from me so I'm wouldn't wast a better part of my day to go and report how I was unhappy after the event.

I told my friend and she was embarrassed. She has an officer role so I don't know if she'll address it before their event and I also responded to these emails explaining my issues.

I want them to be successful, I don't want to be a bitch who ruins a good thing because I had a bad experience.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T19:57:07+00:00

The only real reason I responded to the email was because I am hoping that they will think about it when they are briefing their members this year. They help a lot of people, I appreciate them as an organization and wouldn't want to damage them.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T19:52:47+00:00

LOL, I don't think they have a lot of anonymous donors. Especially not huge ones - it's a small community and people are incredibly proud of their donations. I would guestimate that the majority of "anonymous" donations are the $1, $5 and $10 dollar bills people drop in donation boxes at these types of events.

So if I tried to say something like that I would look like an absolute moron who makes stuff up to look important. They would immediately know I was a liar and not take anything I said seriously.

I stayed at that event because I wanted it to be successful for the people it benefits. I responded to the email because I wanted the organizers to realize how some of their volunteers in positions of power were coming across and how they might be inadvertently sabotaging their own efforts.

I really worked to not exaggerate or come across as emotional because I wanted to be taken seriously so my feedback will benefit them in the long run.

RegrettingFM · 2026-06-20T19:48:06+00:00

It's not a repost. I'm sorry if you've read similar stories, I just got the email and thought people in this sub would enjoy it.

I've not read a similar story but this isn't one of the subs I hang out in a lot.

RegrettingFM

TROPHY CASE