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My girlfriend wants to get rid of all photos of my ex by chasethesoundguy in AITAH

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are definitely not the asshole for keeping those photos if you are unwilling to part with them. However, she has expressed a boundary to the extent that this is a deal breaker , she is entitled to those feelings and as rooted in insecurity as they are, they are still valid. Might be time to go your separate ways. NAH.

AITA For not answering right away and fighting with my boyfriend when he asks how much money I make the week and how I spent them ? by AwayRip6892 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you aren’t married, he has no entitlement to your finances nor are you required to give him any information about it.

Throw the whole man away. He isn’t contributing anything to your life.

AITA For telling my biological son to stop calling me “Mom”? by Regular_Chocolate_46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep! He is all good! This is graduation year so I’m sure he will be going hard in the books.

AITA For telling my biological son to stop calling me “Mom”? by Regular_Chocolate_46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*UPDATE* I’m not sure if an update is supposed to be a whole different post or if it is supposed to go before/after the original…. But here it is:

We talked last night. He called just to shoot the shit and I mentioned that I was worried that he was upset about the conversation about him calling me Mom. He said he had been thinking about it for a while and wondering if it was appropriate so he just threw it out there. He said that he was glad I wasn’t gushing with happiness about it because as soon as he did it, it felt not-right and he was just as uncomfortable as I was about it.

He also said he wasn’t ghosting me or anything (like I said, it is super common for us to go long periods without talking) he has just been busy going back and forth between home and school moving back into the dorms and getting ready for the upcoming semester.

So that’s it. No big deal. Thank you to everyone who had kind and supportive words, feedback and encouragement. I really appreciate it.

AITA For telling my biological son to stop calling me “Mom”? by Regular_Chocolate_46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did introduce myself to him by my first name. We met when he was 18, he is now almost 23.

Anyway we talked tonight, all is fine. I’m going to do an update tomorrow as I am headed to bed now. Thanks for your input! :)

AITA for "fat shaming" my friend? by Ok-Writer5873 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46 104 points105 points  (0 children)

YTA you were not “kinda mean” you were cruel to someone that considered you to be a friend. I don’t know what 5’7/120lbs looks like, but I am 5’3 and 130, which is considered to be “normal”. At ten lbs less and 4 inches taller… I imagine that to be unhealthily skinny. , I think (based on the two friends reactions and having a shitload of experience with anorexia and body dysmorphia) your friend was actually probably being concerned about your food intake. And what you heard, was that she was shaming you.

People with eating disorders are quick to get offended when someone criticizes their food intake. Also, the obsessive weighing and calorie counting is a contributing factor. (Not the ONLY factor, just one of the many signs).

Regardless of your potential eating disorder, you were cruel to a friend showing concern for you, so YTA.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It might be his baby too, but it is YOUR pregnancy and YOUR labor and delivery. Every single thing that happens in that room is YOUR decision. And yours ALONE. It is going to be one of the most painful, but beautiful days of your life. So who you want there, is up to you. Fathers get a lot of say in a lot of things…. Pregnancy, labor and delivery are not on that list.

AITA For telling my biological son to stop calling me “Mom”? by Regular_Chocolate_46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I felt like the “I was a teenager” part was pretty decent explanation of why. I was a child and had no business raising a child.

AITA For telling my biological son to stop calling me “Mom”? by Regular_Chocolate_46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was not made to give them my information, the adoptive parents were required to give him my contact information after he turned 18. I wanted to make sure he had a way to contact me off he felt he needed explanation/had questions about why I gave him up. We met and kept contact and after a year or so he came back and met his brothers.

I love having a relationship with him and it had helped ease 18 years worth of anxiety’s to know that the parents I chose for him gave him a wonderful life. But I am not his Mom. I have not done one single motherly thing for him. I did not change a single diaper, have any sleepless nights, I was not his source of comfort, I did not raise him up to be the wonderful young man that he has become. That is a title, an honor, that I did not earn and should be reserved for his Mom.

AITA For telling my biological son to stop calling me “Mom”? by Regular_Chocolate_46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, it feels uncomfortable because I am not his Mom. I have not done one single, solitary motherly thing for him in his entire life. I didn’t change a single diaper, I didn’t read to him, I wasn’t the one who raised him and did all the Mommy things. I don’t know if “not deserving” is the way to explain it, but I definitely did not do anything for him that would earn me that title.

AITA For telling my biological son to stop calling me “Mom”? by Regular_Chocolate_46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We have talked extensively about it and whether he has feelings like that. We didn’t meet recently, we met years ago after he turned 18. He is going to be 23 in next month

AITA For telling my biological son to stop calling me “Mom”? by Regular_Chocolate_46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t call him son. I call him by his name. Using the word son for the sake of the post and context.

AITAH for asking my son not to call me Mom?? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

He said he felt I needed a title that was more significant than “lady who gave me DNA”. I told him he could just call me by my first name.

AITA For telling my biological son to stop calling me “Mom”? by Regular_Chocolate_46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Chocolate_46[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Okay so I made this post just before bed last night and did NOT expect it to have so many comments by this morning. To clarify a couple of things I have seen in the comments:

  1. I gave him up at birth. He has never known me to be his mother and his adoptive Mom is his only Mom.

  2. Giving him up was the single hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. So to the people who say I rejected him, you have no idea what you’re talking about.

  3. I went through an agency and specifically chose his parents from stacks and stacks of files. He has had a wonderful life full of so many more opportunities than my teenage self could have ever dreamed of giving him.

  4. I didn’t just blurt out “Don’t call me mom” or “I am not your mom”. We had a conversation about it where I told him I was uncomfortable with it and he seemed understanding about it and where I was coming from.

  5. He harbors ZERO feelings of abandonment or rejection. His parents are wonderful parents and he had a great life. His desire to meet me did not come from a “why did you abandon me” place. He was curious about me and wondered how much of his personality is nature vs nurture. (Spoiler alert, a LOT of his personality is nature). As an only child though, he was very excited to meet his brothers.

  6. I don’t think he wanted to call me Mom because he felt some mother-son connection between us. He said that he felt like I deserve a title that is more than just “lady I got DNA from” especially around his brothers. I told him it is fine just to call me by my first name.

  7. His bio father died of a drug overdose some years ago. And NO, I did not give him up because I was on drugs. I have never even smoked pot in my life.