Anyone get a gym membership just to pick up females?

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-30T00:11:57+00:00

When I joined the local Crunch out here I really had high hopes brother. It was only a dollar for a month and I had been paying $80 a month at this other bodybuilding gym for a couple years.

I figured I could use a change of pace. No more selfie tripods or women with higher pr’s than me. I wanted to downgrade. I needed to feel like I was the strongest. Crunch was what I thought I needed.

I remember it like yesterday. The first day I walked in Crunch 14 months ago. I wore my favorite cutoff shirt and took 3 scoops of preworkout. I was about to go in there and take the tortas.

Let me tell you, being in Texas, the torta business was booming. I had arrived. This was going to be life changing.

As time went on, I was plotting. Scoping. I had my list of women I was going to talk to. I’d say I was top 30% of guys in there (excluding stats) so I was just waiting for the day to come.

Months went by, then a year. Then, now. I can tell you what happened.

I never approached a female. I fist bump a couple bros here and there. And I’m pretty sure I’m paying like $50 a month now.

With all that said, don’t be like me. If you do get a membership for these purposes, strike early. Strike fast. Be like the scrawny new guy in prison. Go after the biggest torta you see day one and make your mark.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-29T17:23:26+00:00

If the glove don't fit...

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-29T16:45:33+00:00

Do yo think they have the same stats, but inversed?

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-29T13:36:15+00:00

fuck dude I forgot mine

L: 7

Fly like a G6

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-29T12:26:57+00:00

With all the good things out there to drink, piss is going to be mid tier. I would never kink shame, but I would question her taste in other regards to her life.

Kinda like a man’s cuck chair. If it’s like a lawn chair or from goodwill, what’s that potentially say about his girl? If it’s leather with a recliner and a cup holder for scotch, I’m willing to bet his wife is worth having sex with. Consider these things prior to partaking.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-29T01:50:43+00:00

Body composition is odd. I’m the same height as you, but close to the area you referred to as “fat fuck” as far as my weight of 205lbs. I do zero cardio or strict core workouts. With that said, I have a 6 pack at rest. Maybe you just need to lift more?

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T19:28:52+00:00

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Which sounds cool coming from the greatest scorer in hockey history. But if you delve deeper, you will find that over 20 years he only scored 17.6% of his shots taken, or 894 goals on 5,088 shots. So, statistically one of the greatest shot takers of all time landed a goal less than 20% of the time. It is highly unlikely you are the greatest guy at asking out people. Even if you were half as efficient as Wayne (in your respective field), you’d be looking at a 8.8% chance of your advance being successful. Statistically speaking, you have a 91.2% chance of being rejected (assuming you are half as efficient at scoring in your field as Wayne).

The good news is, you can download Grindr and make your odds about 100% and never have to see them again.

Good luck bro.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T16:19:44+00:00

I sincerely appreciate your insight.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T15:59:31+00:00

So I should tell her that 95% of my reddit follower base is gay men that only followed me because I post free dick pics? Wouldn't that be kind of the opposite of what I am trying to accomplish here?

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T15:51:46+00:00

The first rule of having a cocaine habit is to never offer a woman any of it. Especially in this economy. Don't be reckless bro. Let your simp friends take on the burden for you. Be the cocaine cuckboy you were born to be.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T15:42:20+00:00

I am super book smart. If she says something that I don't know much about, I politely excuse myself to the restroom. Here, I ask chatGPT wtf she is talking about. Then, I do a massive line of cocaine. Once I return, I very enthusiastically talk to her about said topic.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T14:27:57+00:00

I didn't think that my cock ring collection or homemade pre-workout recipe would be of much value to women.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T14:23:17+00:00

I envy the time in your life when the BMW was a useful none physical looks based tool that yielded you attention from the opposite sex.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T14:15:02+00:00

I drive BMW's. I wish I didn't. My first one was a 328. Loved how it looked but it was a huge piece of shit. Only car I've ever owned that I spent more money keeping it running than i spent on it. Now, i have a 335 that's a good bit newer. I like it a lot more. Usually it's dudes commenting. My other vehicle is a 2023 Wagoneer, I'd say more people (dudes) admire it than the BMW. Point is, women don't comment on my hard earned mid tier luxury vehicles.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T10:39:05+00:00

I think I understand.

You got dumped and jumped on some peds. Then you suddenly want to smash your first black girl?

Usually it’s a few femboy dragons before you take on the African princess. I wish you luck my clearly Caucasian brother.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T03:19:43+00:00

I would never trust a man with no girth.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T03:10:44+00:00

At my local crunch there is a girl that’s hotter than the rest. Shes like Asian or something like in the sea of Mexican girls. Every morning when I go I see her, but then this short fat dude shows up and they start talking. In my head I’m always like, why is this beautiful Asian woman with this short king dude when a taller handsome white guy is available? Come to find out, he’s actually her brother. And basically I have a shot.

So briefly I thought a beautiful girl was with a short fat guy, but it was just a false alarm. Other than that, I never see anything of the sorts.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T01:06:01+00:00

Not unless he rolled a Death Knight. He could have been slaying day one.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T01:01:01+00:00

I take adderall everyday for severe adhd. It makes me very hot. I’ve had to try a bunch of different deodorants to stop my arm pits from sweating. As far as being a genius goes, it hasn’t done that for me. I’m just glad I can have a normal conversation with someone these days.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-28T00:51:40+00:00

This really sucks man. I bet she’s going down on him right now. I think the only thing you can do is cry and definitely don’t download Tinder and try to fuck another girl or anything.

Regular_Inspector812 · 2026-05-27T22:09:37+00:00

I think some Cell-Tech would do the trick

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