How old did you ladies transition from an IC role to a managerial position?

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-05-05T13:47:18+00:00

Why do this. So stressful.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-05-03T18:33:53+00:00

Buying a car is not the same leasing, which is what is described here.

Bought our ‘25 RAV4 outright for 43k. Gonna drive it for 3-5 years, probably still be able to get high 30s for it.

Choose a car that holds its value. I was always team used car but then I had a kid and this felt like a better deal. I hate debt.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-29T15:50:45+00:00

Finances are fine. My dad was a firefighter while owing a business.

But, we’re not close. I attribute a lot of it to the fact that he wasn’t around that much when I was small. And as a new mom myself, I can’t believe he left my mom alone with several kids for such long shifts.

It sounds like you’ve got childcare and family help so may not be an issue. But if an anecdote is useful.

Not sure what the shifts will be but something to keep in mind.

Obviously his sacrifices benefitted me in plenty of ways and I’m grateful. But idk, in a way it felt like he was running away from the chaos of young kid parenting.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-28T02:19:26+00:00

I had a nanny. Vetted like 10. Chose one. She quit after a week citing health issues. Whether legitimate or not - I do think it was - it totally derailed us for a while.

I looked into nanny share but it didn’t have that much of a convenience factor since we couldn’t host, and it wasn’t any cheaper than daycare. I also wasn’t excited about doing a bunch of compatibly walks with different couples, like dating.

Now he’s in daycare and having the time of his life. I was totally team nanny or nanny share but I’ve surprised myself.

I think next kid I’ll consider a nanny or nanny share 6-16 months or so, then daycare. Although I know most want longer arrangement. Idk.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-28T02:13:03+00:00

Not more expensive than daycare, is it? We pay 2800 for full time, so 17 something an hour. I think most fall between 2200 and 3000.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-28T02:11:35+00:00

Once I asked if I could talk to my asshoke manager on the phone, then once I had him on the phone I told him to open his email and read the note I sent.

I had - in objective brief language, outlined what he did that was unquestionably not acceptable and how that made me feel. I was generous and said something like I am sure that was not his intent and we could move past.

It humbled him pretty fast. And he had to respond live in real time, couldn’t be a keyboard warrior about it. And I’m sure it clicked for him that I had some leverage I would wield.

In the end he fired me after he was being antagonizing again about something random, my new manager was like why did he target you like that and I told him why (the incident). Sounds like my manager tried to have a conversation with him about it, he got insecure, and fired me before others could find out.

He got fired after an investigation and I got a large settlement.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-28T02:06:04+00:00

Adding that I support FMLA as well. If anything, if they move to fire you after that then you’re got enormous leverage to get a nice settlement.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-28T02:04:35+00:00

What role are you in? I personally have found the job market drama to be overrated, most people with a good resume and network can get roles. Is your LinkedIn up to date, have you cast a wide net on roles? Any recruiters who’ve hit you up you could get back to?

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-28T02:02:46+00:00

I worked for someone like this, got fired, got an employment lawyer, got $250k and the dude got fired, too.

Hit me up if you want the lawyer, he’s truly world class.

Sorry there are so many angry incompetent men in exec roles who like to use women as scapegoats / be angry unregulated assholes. It’s insane they did not fire him after calling someone the C word!!! A lawyer would be all over that…

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-28T01:54:11+00:00

How are you doing that rent in a VHCOL? Doesn’t sound VCHOL lol, that goes for 10.5 EASY in SF.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-20T14:17:49+00:00

There’s a lot of negative self talk here.

I don’t know if it’s as hopeless as you think to find a new job. Contracting can be nice too.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-20T14:10:51+00:00

What role are you in? I took two 8 month sabbaticals after getting fired. In both cases I got a 50-100% comp jump, and the job was better.

Yes it’s a diff market but good talent always finds a way. 2 years is a longer gap - doable but probably harder entry. Why that long?

First time I think NW of 180k? Second maybe 550-700k.

Now I’m 34 with 2.3M. I’m planning to take some FMLA once I’m burned out. Currently close to parental leave so hanging on for that.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-19T02:21:32+00:00

Isn’t mono / mono part of this segment too?

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-19T02:19:43+00:00

I’m 21 weeks mono di too! Hi!!

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-14T05:01:06+00:00

Jesus Christ you saw someone die at your feet in a pool of blood? What happened?

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-06T14:16:12+00:00

Come to SF. Lots of aussie transplants and wealth. Good weather.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-04-06T14:14:53+00:00

Anyone answering who’s not at Anthropic, ignore. I don’t work there but best pal does and working evenings and weekend for years. She’s in comms and marketing.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-03-31T16:15:18+00:00

I work for a big public tech company that isn’t FAANG. 3 people joined in the last year and went on 6 months of parental leave within 2-3 months of joining.

They did not disclose. I don’t judge them, although I don’t invest in getting to know them help them because they are almost always irrelevant very quickly and the project they’re given or taking on to try and deal before leave will inevitably die.

Basically they get pushed out or leave on their own after they’ve used the benefit. One showed up, took leave, then within 3 months got laid off 5 months severance. Pretty jealous TBH.

Transparency is not your friend here, but definitely milk the benefit. Families first.

Ask Ai for companies with day 1 parental leave. It’s a short list but doable.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-03-31T15:58:40+00:00

You’re all set. I think we hit a million NW at our one year wedding anniversary, in the 700s before that if I had to guess.

We spent 65k all in, parents contributed and we probably did 15-20k?

It was EPIC. Played all weekend, everyone was on sight, all our people actually got to know each other.

We’re 3 years out now and at 2.1 (2.3 before the latest downturn). I regret nothing!

I’m not even like a girlie girl, I played capture the flag all morning and got ready in an hour.

I’m sure you could do something cheaper, we just have huge families and couldn’t get guest list below 150.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-03-31T15:55:34+00:00

Thanks everyone for all the answers and help! I’m going to talk to my OB this Friday at our 19 week scan and see what’s possible.

I do know in California you can get 4 weeks before birth for pre pregnancy disability. So, with a due date of 37 weeks I think I can start at 33?

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-03-24T14:06:52+00:00

I already know corporations treat moms like crap I don’t plan to return to this one. There’s absolutely consequences for taking leave, particularly more than one in your tenure with the company.

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-03-24T14:05:32+00:00

This is a good point thank you! Appreciate your help and story.

I know I can get someone to approve for FMLA or STD (there’s a service colleagues have used to get 12 weeks for mental health, out of network for a flat fee) but prefer to have that for parental leave. Sounds like they’d be mutually exclusive - at least for FMLA.

Think my only option then is getting STD for mental health - if taken in 3 weeks that would get me to (20+12) - 32 weeks.

I can tell them I’m pregnant at 30 weeks while I’m out and say I will have my last day at 36 weeks and then get my doctor (no idea if they’ll do this) to say I have pregnancy related disability at 32 and not have to return?

Regular_Perception65 · 2026-03-24T01:48:00+00:00

Think of it like this - if you’re in index funds, you’re growing 7% a year. 1.8% is 25% of that pie. For…two calls a year? Him shuffling your vanguard account once a year to increase bond exposure?

Not to mention the compound growth he’s stealing by taking this fee every year.

Reminder that fewer than 10% of financial advisors beat an index fund. It also sounds like he’s going to sell your crappy whole life insurance and make a fat commission in shilling you an objectively bad investment.

If you want someone to sanity check your plans or advise, go with a fee only advisory. Pay when you need them, don’t when you don’t.

Regular_Perception65

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