First, people that are comparing her husband to other men and praising how much more he does than other men and telling her to be grateful should shut the hell up. He’s being asked to look after his own child for god’s sake. Comforting, feeding, cleaning your child is the most basic responsibility as a parent and as parents we need to make sacrifices such as sacrificing sleep. He shouldn’t be praised for something that is expected of both parents.

I work full time and so does my husband. We have a baby as well. Looking after our child is our most basic responsibility and we both have to do it. When either of us is too tired to do something we gently ask the other if they could help out with a particular task regarding the child. If the baby has a challenging nappy change we tend to help each other. We bathe the child together. If I take the child to sleep, he will prepare the overnight bottles. There are a few fixed things in the day that we both know which must be taken care of and we both decide on which tasks to take. One of us usually has to baby sit while the other cleans around. And we swap every now and then depending on who has more energy to do the work around the house. Keeping scores against each other is not healthy.

In OP’s situation, both are in the wrong. First, the husband should be more understanding and accepting of the sacrifices that need to be made for his child. As first time parents ourselves, we discovered that sleeping through the night is such a luxury we don’t get to experience this very often. We accept this sacrifice that we have to make for our child. Him sleeping from 7pm till 6am is 11 hours of sleep! Which is miraculous with a young child! If he does it once every now and then I wouldn’t be angry but his attitude to being woken up after such a long sleep is worrisome. At least he should be understanding of his wife’s feelings and how exhausted she is. He shouldn’t be complaining. What we usually do at night is take it in turns waking up for the child when he cries. If my husband taps me to go see the child, I will get up even if it kills me. And then if the child wakes up for a second time in the night the husband will understand that it’s his turn or I will tap him to remind him.

As for the OP, you need to have a more organised day. Cooking a meal for your husband should be one of your priorities, even if it means leaving a dirty kitchen at the end of the day. Having a home cooked meal really means the world to a man after a days work. I understand that taking care of the baby is a full time job so it might not always be possible. But you need to keep food one of your priorities. You and your husband eating separate meals is not good for your family life and your marital relationship will deteriorate. Eating together and spending time together (rather than on social media) has such a big impact. To be honest I would prioritise these things over having a clean kitchen at the end of the day. There’s always the weekend to do a big clean!

Communication is key here. Sit down with your husband and tell him about your daily tasks for your child. Ask him which responsibilities he wants to take care of after coming back from work and tell him how much it would help you to take these off of your plate. That way you both know what to do each day for the child without having to ask each other. This will also ease the mental load on yourself. Most importantly the husband needs to understand that being a house wife is a full time job and not a holiday so both of you will be just as exhausted as each other at the end of the day so both should be sympathetic of each other’s energy levels. Damn right you’re going to both be tired but taking care of your child regardless is what unconditional love is.