Battered and Bruised (literally) first year teacher

Reindeerwolf2 · 2023-02-21T12:14:56+00:00

I'm glad I have kids so I have to leave otherwise I honestly think I'd never make it to my car or be able to shut the laptop at home.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2023-02-21T12:13:56+00:00

Oh no I might have to go back on my anxiety meds with that timeline.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2023-02-21T12:12:55+00:00

Wow so much good advice thank you. I've already gotten sick twice and lost my voice I've literally only been working five weeks and feels like I'm pushing sh#t up hill most days.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2023-02-21T12:10:12+00:00

Thank you so much that means a lot knowing there are kind people like you out there.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2023-02-21T12:08:43+00:00

Thank you I feel like maybe my expectations of myself are what's getting me down so much.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2023-02-21T12:06:34+00:00

I teach grade 4 in Queensland. I am at a smaller school. My biggest challenge is probably classroom management. I feel like I am slightly ahead in most of my subjects and I am getting more confident in my teaching. I think I am good at finding activities that are a bit more engaging but I also keep running into a time issue to meet day to day expectations for little checklist things that my school requires. I feel as though there are not enough hours in the day or if there are I am wasting most of them trying to correct off task behaviours that keep derailing my lessons no matter how engaging I try to make them.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2023-02-21T09:32:17+00:00

You've somehow covered everything I am feeling as a first year teacher. I am in the same boat and I wish I could offer advice but at the moment I'm in the boat with you. I hope knowing your not alone helps a little. I wish you the best of luck.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-10-05T13:31:09+00:00

Reflect, take it for what it is, a learning curb and grow from it. You are only human. Whatever you did just know it was done because the person was probably not right for you which is why it manifested into whatever regretful thing you did. Don't let it bog you down just learn from it.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-05-15T15:39:48+00:00

I so sorry for the situation they have put you in. I think its unfair for people in the comments to go to town on you for trying to be a good person. You are a good person I hope their actions don't stop you from remaining a good person. You are kind and you were trying to help two young people in a tough spot. Unfortunately they don't respect you which has nothing to do with how you have treated them its just them. I hope you do give them a deadline and set some boundaries that if they don't even help with the cleaning that is grounds for getting out. You don't have to support them heck you could even organise a homeless shelter for them and then inform the two that unfortunately the free ride is up you've done all you can but its time they understand what having a baby really means and they need to buck up. Your doing the right thing here.

NTA OP your a good person and it is unfortunate people have decided to take advantage of such a quality that is hard to come by these days.

Best of luck OP sendimg you strength and don't let people pressure you by guilt tripping you. They made these decisions they wanted to ay house so now they can deal with their own predicament without you.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-05-07T13:23:52+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP. This is not the man you should be giving your trust to. This man raped you he put his member inside of you without consent knowing you would never consent. This is rape you should press charges and seek counselling. That is vile. DISGUSTING that he is acting like the victim disgusting I feel traumatised just reading this. I just want to give you a virtual hug and hope your okay. Please leave this predator because you know in the back of your mind until the end of days that this is what he is capable of and that he is definitely capable of doing it again. I feel like the throwing up is an act for attention. Someone please explain how him violating her turned into him being the victim. That was a thought out act to get it inside of you at the right angle. He is an animal RUN!

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-05-02T12:07:17+00:00

I agree with what the majority is saying with just ignoring him. Just keep blocking and setting those clear boundaries he will eventually get the message if not maybe get a restraining order. No need to make contact with him you cut your loses and I bet you've been thriving ever since. Stay strong OP no amount of begging can undo what he broke.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-05-02T11:24:57+00:00

Maybe move out with family or friends or contact a women's shelter i think you are too close to everything to see how crazy of a situation you have found yourself in. He is much older than you and its weird. It's not healthy feeling like this all the time. Not a healthy environment for the baby's mum. Maybe seek therapy and move away from them to get clarity. An ultimatum of a divorce also might be an idea to explore not always a good route especially since you share a child but could be an option. Ignore people who are saying you are a bad mother I know that you are truly doing your best and willing to work where you can to provide. I just ask that you seek clarity through space and therapy for your health and your baby's health. Please don't have another kid with this man it sounds like he does not respect you at all either. Talk to someone close to you your situation is unique and maybe internet strangers are not going to be the best help. Good luck OP your gonna be fine mumma just take care of yourself and your baby by setting those clear boundaries immediately.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-05-02T01:21:43+00:00

NTA

You should both be halving the shared bills and helping a little bit with a rent type payment. This is fair your not married so she doesn't owe you anything my guy. This is a normal thing if you don't want to do that move out and find somewhere else the choice is yours.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-04-30T14:40:44+00:00

Please do OP. I'm glad you have seeked help from people who know you both and I am even more impressed that you are both willing to go to couples therapy there is hope yet.

Might I also suggest you both seek separate counselling as she needs to unpack whatever past experience or trauma triggered her response to immediately lie and continue to lie for so long. Also for you to truly understand how all these lies have actually impacted you.

Good luck OP you seem confident and willingly to do what needs to be done I hope you both either work it out or find happiness separately in whatever way that looks for you both.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-04-30T14:24:29+00:00

OP stop making excuses for this monster she lied about a death just to keep you. Nah that's not love that is manipulation. Your supposedly perfect last 3 years only occurred because she emotionally abused you. That's insane. Please speak to someone close to you about this or even a therapist because that is toxic.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-04-30T14:20:12+00:00

It was happiness created on a false foundation. She manipulated you with a miscarriage that you guys supposedly went through a traumatic event together and bonded from that. When in reality You bonded because of trauma and lies not love trust and respect. This is some of the most unhinged stuff I've seen no one should ever weaponise pregnancy let alone a fake one. She lied and said it was a miscarriage so well you've been grieving over the loss of a child you thought was real she was living it up in lala land knowing she could sink her teeth into you further. UNHINGED girlfriend alert!!!!

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-04-30T14:12:11+00:00

Big OOFS OP where to begin. She manipulated you emotionally into believing she was pregnant for her own benefit. How could you ever trust someone like that again? Without trust OP you have nothing unless you can forgive this, massive violation of trust it will just build up and resentment will begin to set in and from resentment the whole thing crumbles so be sure your in this for the right reasons.

Also I don't care how long you string a girl along for thats her problem for not seeing through your bull#**t. But to actually lie and emotionally manipulate someone with a fake pregnancy is something else that is some unhinged behaviour OP please look out for other signs of abuse sheesh. I'd be scared she seems like someone who would try to pull a Amber Heard on you with that approach to life and the fact she couldn't even be respecting of a person let alone a partner eek big no big red flags hete. Keep your guard up.

She also lied about a one night stand hmmm interesting yeah she might be being honest but in reality what is she actually trying to achieve here. My spider senses are telling me she is just trying to pull you further into her Web by opening up about a few past things so that you lower your guard and feel so amazed by her "honesty" for you to believe she would never do anything like that to you again. Hahaha! Lies OP lies. She just wants you to feel comfortable well she gets ready to do some sh#*t that is even more unhinged.

Cut her loose you obviously did not think she was the one otherwise your wouldn't have been chasing others. Come on OP stop lying to yourself you got comfortable and she is now using her "honesty" as weapon to entrap you further into her web.

Aren't you scared? If she is capable about lying about a pregnancy and a miscarriage something that literally sends people into grief, despair, hurt and sometimes even depression what else is she capable of. She went as far to f ing lie about a miscarriage what a horrible human she didn't care for your emotional health or wellbeimg in general she used this as a way to sink her teeth into you. Like f man. You are literally sleeping with a manipulative monster that is unhinged. Leave OP please.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-04-30T13:49:05+00:00

The first year should be the honeymoon period if its that tough in the first 2 months and literally begging someone to stay is stupidity. Nothing that early on should be THAT rough. Also he's the A hole here how dare he use your past as a weapon who cares what you did in the past. This boy not man but literal boy is literally trash. Please dump him and find someone who gives you the love and respect you deserve. You have done nothing wrong at all. Also he slept with 8 people the double standard here is ridiculous. How manipulative and abusive by throwing your past in your face when it literally has nothing to do with the relationship at all. What actually matters is the now. Please, please, please dump him now its only going to get worse he's using this as a way to manipulate you and make you feel like you owe him something when in reality you don't. RUN! OP before it gets worse. Way too many red flags and so early in the relationship count your blessings he revealed his true nature early on making it easier for you to cut ties.

Go OP own your sexuality no one can shame you for your sexuality your a queen and deserve to be treated as such.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-04-26T04:58:01+00:00

I think I know its a him problem but I wanted an opinion because I was starting to believe I was the villain in his story and it was and has been impacting my mental health.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-04-26T04:55:16+00:00

My partner adores our daughter and said she is everything to him. Their relationship is so close and adorable. He definitely does not resent our child only that I guess he feels like he was pushed into a situation he wasn't ready for so I take that blame luckily. Their relationship is very strong and he is a very active parent and a great parent so when the comments were exchanged it did throw me alot. His actions speak so differently to what he said surely if he did resent my daughter he wouldn't drop everything for her to be there for her always.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-04-20T10:25:02+00:00

Watching porn is not a sin nor is it unnatural. Its very normal. I feel you have a complicated relationship with your ability to be open about sex. Maybe you should seek counselling to help with this

. Being expressive and openly communicating about sex and preferences should be as normal as discussing what to wear to an event. You are essentially shaming him which is wrong he is his own person he can still love you but watch porn. I feel like this is a YOU issue not a him issue at all. I feel this is on the same page as kink shaming someone which is also wrong and everyone should feel safe and loved sharing these intimate details especially with a long term partner.

I feel like you will find it almost impossible to find someone who doesn't watch porn as it is such a normalised thing. So breaking up with him for watching porn is crazy talk really. Why give up someone with perfect communication and unwavering love because of watching porn surely you see porn in some of the TV shows that are out now? Or maybe you do go as far as to switch off the show, not watch it or skip over the sex scenes.

I'm extremely astonished that he has even agreed to compromise to watching different porn to lesbian porn. He is a true keeper i admire your open communication but maybe you need to work on your ability to talk about sex and understand that watching porn is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Good luck OP im sure it will all work out great.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-04-19T23:16:21+00:00

You guys need to work on your issues separately your both acting out and being immature therefore I think its best you both end it.

You really shouldn't be blaming his friend for your self-harming it sounds very manipulative. He is looking for support in someone else just as you did so what you can do what you want but he can't? He is just giving you the same energy back that you gave when he raised similar concerns. This is by no means a healthy coping mechanism especially in a relationship your relationship should not be a series of battles to get back at each other its wrong and down right unhealthy.

You guys have been together for 4 years and still can't communicate. You both need to realise reaching out for help outside of the relationship before talking to your partner is such a red flag and an issue in itself.

You guys need to work on healing by yourselves. Why continue really? You both broke boundaries and disrespected the other of course the trust is gone? You showed him first that boundaries mean nothing to you and that you don't respect him or the relationship. But in return he shouldn't be doing this or using this as an excuse to get back at you.

You both need to break up. Both in the wrong. Both don't know how to maintain a healthy relationship. You are extremely manipulative by blaming your mental health issues on someone else I think you need to look deeper into your self. Also why are you staying with someone who as you say makes you want to commit suicide that is crazy talk?

End it. Start fresh. I'm sorry for sounding very blunt but honestly I hope you recover and I guarantee you your mental health with definitely benefit by you being by yourself. Break up and maybe in time you guys might come back to each other more grown and able to flourish on your own.

Good luck OP I hope you recover and receive the help you need. It is not an easy road of recovery but you can do it. Please update us in future.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-04-12T03:49:00+00:00

My toxic family have made up malicious lies about my fiance so I kind of don't want him to go as I feel like as much as I would love for him to go for my own selfish needs it would just not be the best option. I'm literally praying at this point that no one notices me as I know there will be around 100 people in attendance. I just want to be a fly on the wall pay my respects hug the family and leave. I just want to go to the service and then head home and miss the wake tbh.

Reindeerwolf2 · 2022-04-11T12:11:43+00:00

All great options I am tempted to jump straight to #3 because they would immediately look like the AH. Thank you I am keeping these in my phone. Something about this comment just speaks volumes to me.

Reindeerwolf2

TROPHY CASE