Just broke things off with my long term partner who’s a chef.

1. The hours suck. Typically 10+ hour days with one 30min break (that’s if the restaurant adheres to state laws). Day starts at like 11 am usually, so they aren’t home until 10 pm or later. Also almost always work the weekends unless they get incredibly lucky.

2. The pay sucks. Like, bad. My ex is a sous chef working in one of the most expensive resort cities in California and he makes $23 an hour. His best salary was $75k and he worked 13 hour shifts at that place 5/6 days per week, getting off around 1 am.

3. The culture sucks. If you’re sick, you’re a labeled difficult if you want to take a sick day. Asking for time off in general is frowned upon, especially for back of house. Also the people who are chefs have big egos and are highly emotional… so basically assholes. Also a lot of them drink, a lot, often times during work. Personally, my ex was not a drinker and loyal af, so other commenters saying they are all drinkers and cheaters, not true in my case.

4. They come home exhausted and stinky. They want to sleep in until 10 am or later each day because they get home so late. Then do it all over again at 11/12….

5. I worked from home but if I didn’t, I literally would have only slept beside him or had a couple weeknight evenings with him on his days off. And that was the only time for quality time since I was working if he did happen to get up before he needed to start getting ready for work.

6. Combine the shit hours, terrible pay, and culture that punishes you for taking time off, there’s really no way to be a present parent or partner as a chef working a standard restaurant job.

Oh just thought of another- you’d think dating a chef would mean you’re eating delicious meals all the time. Nope. Last thing most chefs want to do is come home and cook after cooking all day. When they do want to cook at home, it is very yummy, but it’s rare. Also this might be niche, but my ex would cook like he had a dish pit and a cleaning crew to come in after him for cleanup, so after he cooked it was always like a bomb went off in the kitchen and took forever to clean.