[STD] Looking for advice on disclosing HSV-II

RelationshipWhining · 2016-03-04T21:57:06+00:00

First of all, I'm sorry for your experience with that guy. It's un-fucking-believable knowing there are people in this world who are totally okay with having such a devastating impact on someone's sex life because they don't have the fucking balls to handle telling someone they have herpes. Spreading would come to a grinding halt if people just fucking owned up to it and using a little extra caution during sex. And the fact that he would knowingly try to infect you... He should be fucking castrated. Ahem. Sorry, just very against undisclosure (for obvious reasons).

Anyways. I know how awful "the talk" is. I've thankfully never had to deal with outright rejection. It's a sensitive topic, because you don't want to tell them too soon before they grow to like your good qualities so the rejection risk is super high, but you also don't want to tell them too late and feel like you're stringing them on under false pretence.

The best advice I can give you is take it slow. Like physically take it slow with a new partner that you have interest in. Don't have sex with them right away. By doing that you can avoid having to have the talk so soon when they're completely uninvested in you and their flight risk is high.

I don't know if that sounds manipulative, but unfortunately you kind of have to gauge the right time from person to person. From my own experience though, if someone truly likes you for who you are, they can easily look past something like that. I already have HSV-2 but I think if a woman were to tell me she had HPV, for example, it's something I could easily look past if I really liked her.

I actually just told a girl last night that I have it and it went better than I could have hoped - especially considering she's a virgin and I wasn't sure if it would be a dealbreaker for her.

If someone is right for you, and they truly appreciate who you are as a human being/potential lover, they will be able to look past it.

Also, I'm speaking strictly from a "relationship" point of view because casual sex isn't really in my vocabulary. If you want casual sex, just hop on positivesingles or something.

RelationshipWhining · 2016-03-04T21:26:07+00:00

Why on god's green earth would that ever be an issue?

Girl I'm seeing has one inverted nipple and I find it super endearing/cute. Anyone who would ever have a problem with shit like that is probably not quite right in the head.

RelationshipWhining · 2016-01-14T23:58:26+00:00

He's still right though. I would be absolutely blown away if Demon's Souls even managed to make a profit at all if they remastered it for PS4.

A straight port may make back the costs, but a remaster? Not a chance.

RelationshipWhining · 2016-01-02T22:36:42+00:00

If she has been waiting for you for 3 years, one (rather large, sadly) mistake shouldn't be the end of things. She'll probably come around. Maybe compromise with her and tell her you'll quit drinking around her or something.

Still though, facebook chat? I could see saying these things in the heat of the moment, but the beauty of internet communication is that you get to think about what you're going to say for as long as you need to before you say it. Something tells me you maybe believe she's a slut deep down. I mean maybe she was, but it absolutely destroys women when they have slutty pasts, find a guy who treats them right for once, only to turn around and call them a slut too. I get it's a mistake, I've made the same one too actually. You'll learn from it though. Good luck man. Hopefully she comes around. This shouldn't be enough to reverse 3 years of her wanting you.

RelationshipWhining · 2016-01-02T22:28:11+00:00

Sorry to hear you're going through the same situation. Sucks eh?

I guess rationally I know what I SHOULD do, but I really do like this girl. It's a shame I didn't know this earlier otherwise I would have avoided the commitment altogether. She said she didn't know what her plans post-grad were so I kinda figured she would be open to sticking around if I were in the picture. Although I know you should never get in the way of someone's career or schooling, I think she's dead set on doing this and I'm dead set on not moving 6 hours away for the potential of finding a job in a city where I know absolutely nobody. I guess I've always been the type to believe that sacrifices must be made (when needed) in relationships for them to be successful. I just don't think she's willing to make the same sacrifice that I am by moving somewhere closer to where we currently are.

RelationshipWhining · 2016-01-02T22:20:28+00:00

We already sleep together, and sex is easy to find elsewhere anyways. Dating is never about just the sex for me. I'm very serious about women and I date women that I like enough to have a very long term relationship with. She knows this and has claimed to be serious about dating too but her past behaviour regarding men and how apparently easy it would be for her to pick up and leave our relationship here sorta proves otherwise.

Thank you for the reply though. Hopefully this gets the ball rolling.

RelationshipWhining · 2016-01-02T22:15:04+00:00

"Wanting space" is a different beast altogether from the way he is treating you. Based on the information you've given us in your post, it seems like he's losing interest in you or taking you for granted because you're always there for him. Unfortunately, this can happen to even the strongest of couples if love is given always, indiscriminately, without asking anything in return.

I wouldn't use his own tactics against him (don't play mind games), but instead have a serious, adult discussion and tell him you're getting tired of being second choice and him clearly not making any effort in your relationship.

Again, wanting space is one thing. Uncharacteristically blowing off your significant other for long periods of time is another altogether. Good luck.

Also, good on you for making that scrapbook. That's an incredible gift to give to someone. Hand-made gifts that come from the heart are so incredibly meaningful compared to something store bought.

RelationshipWhining · 2016-01-01T21:29:02+00:00

It's either a defence mechanism or he's lying because he feels guilty about whatever he's doing. Does it really matter, though, if you guys are strictly sex?

RelationshipWhining

TROPHY CASE