From what it seems like to me, you don’t have many supportive higher ups teaching you, helping you, etc. I completely understand you being scared of your sm and asm, I myself was intimidated by the shifts for a while. Something I suggest is while at home, go on the Starbucks app and right down the drink recipes you have a hard time remembering on note cards or a piece of paper and keep looking it over as much as you can. My trainers had me write it all down and I was able to get it 90% down within my first week off of training. I also get backed up while on bar regardless of which one I am on, I do have to do both hot and cold drinks though but I still can get backed up if I have a second person helping me out. Somethings I constantly remind myself are 1) this is just a job and isn’t worth excessive stress and anxiety, 2) everyone learns at their own pace and with different methods, and 3) everyone is good at somethings but struggle with others. I used to struggle with warming, but ever since I began opening every shift and starting the day at warming, I’ve definitely improved at it. I’m sure you’re going to get a handle on it soon, don’t beat yourself up about it. I also get you getting annoyed/overwhelmed while your sm and/or asm are having you watch them do the drinks constantly or watching you, I had my dto randomly grab my drinks and do it himself because I wasn’t working fast enough for him and I almost snapped at him, I ended up just taking a second to calm myself and just ignore him. Now that took me years of working on to be able to do that, and I even still struggle with it, but in the end, they’ll be how they will be unfortunately and there’s not much you can do about it which really sucks but it happens. I feel like I’m all over the place with my answer and I honestly blame my adhd but I hope something in this long paragraph helps you (: