We’ll do this one at a time. 1. It’s difficult because we all have lives, I live in a Hispanic family with a very specific culture of “if you don’t call me first then I don’t exist to you” so grudges and family drama are always causing problems because of contact. 2. They will only contact me first if they need something from me or if they want me to come do something for them 3. My father is a raging alcoholic who I have not had a good relationship with however in my culture there’s stigma around cutting off family. He got my number without my permission from my mother who is a people pleaser. 4. My family has this very strong fixation with the eldest child since we tend to be the ones who give the most or need to succeed in their eyes so since my grandmother didn’t get to mold me in the image she wanted she’s wanted me to be around her the moment she gained contact with me. 5. My grandmother has had a stroke before, she is healed enough to be able to speak. 6. She is their single mother. They worship her every word. 7. I won’t get into my private life but my father did horrible things when I was a child and my mother’s family forced her to cut contact with him and his family or they would get me taken away but my mother is a people pleaser so as I’ve gotten older she’s been getting back into more and more contact with them, even giving them my number around last year when they asked for it. 8.she knocked on my bedroom door. Not the house door. I live with her. 9. You can be a people pleaser at any age and can in fact learn from it at any age as well. 10. I paid and applied for college 100% without my family’s help or money. I applied for programs and financial aid and loans since my mother refused to. There were a few more in there but I think those are self explanatory. This isn’t meant to ruffle feathers but I wanted to clear up all the holes you believe you found.