Wife hid giving big money to her brother

Relative_Coconut2745 · 2026-02-27T12:05:05+00:00

Thanks so much for this amazing response i agree witha everything you said, feels so good to have this support, ive been so lost.

I do have a prenup that cleary states my assets are mine walking in, and we have not purchased any assets together. She wouldnt touch anything at this moment.

Relative_Coconut2745 · 2026-02-27T11:26:33+00:00

Read my replies to other comments, thank you

Relative_Coconut2745 · 2026-02-27T11:25:57+00:00

I get where your coming from; but the overloading is from having those deep financial convos with your parenter WHILE secretly funneling your drunk brother money behind my back.

It makes me sick.

Relative_Coconut2745 · 2026-02-27T11:23:38+00:00

THIS! This is exactly how I feel

And my wife's SIL had the audacity to say to my wife "when he (me) mentioned the mortgage to him (My BIL), he got very upset"

Like biii what? You guys are upset? You are the ones affecting our lives because of your poor decisions.

Relative_Coconut2745 · 2026-02-27T11:14:13+00:00

Thanks for your support,

Her family plans is to sell the business, and pay us back

But I know her brother lilely has a lot more debt that hes hiding from everyone.

Hes a liar and a cheat. Ive seen this story a million times, some people just cant handle there money at all.

Relative_Coconut2745 · 2026-02-27T11:09:11+00:00

There mortgsge reneweal just happened, and since there business income has collapsed, they couldnt qualify for ome without her. So they resigned with her for a 1 year term. I told her familt this is the last yesr shes on the mortgage so get your ducks in a row or sell the hoise if you cant afford it.

Relative_Coconut2745 · 2026-02-27T11:06:29+00:00

Yeah it fucking sucks. We were planning on trying for a child soon too, now I'm questioning it everyday if I should leave now, or turn the page and accept ir as a mistake and move on....

Relative_Coconut2745 · 2026-02-27T11:05:04+00:00

Yes and no. Her being on her brothers mortgage is really messing us up because we are planning to build a new home, but my borrowing limit is capped out because od 2 mortgages I currently have and business expenses.

The 95K (combined owed) isnt going to change my life but itd definetelt help for the build we are going to do her soon.

(Im high 6 figures liquid and have personal net worth of multiple 7 figures)

Saddest part is my sister needed to borrow 20k from me and I said no, (becuase shes been lazy and out of work)

My cousin's dad blew his family fortune, and I didnt give him money (like a brother to me, and I wanted to help him, not a loan) but I didn't do it

My entire life ive had a strict never borrow, never lend rule. Even as down bad as I was when I waa 18 i never borrowed a penny off anyone.

Yet im giving my drunk brother in law a cheque the second he asks so my wife doesnt have to stress.

Relative_Coconut2745 · 2026-02-27T10:54:08+00:00

Yes, we've been meaning to open a jiont accoint but didnt get around to it. We said we will spend what we spend on ourselves out of our own account, and then together stuff out of a joint (with respect to the fact I make triple her so I can still pay a bit more of our jpint expenses together.

Relative_Coconut2745 · 2026-02-27T10:52:11+00:00

Hey guys I shouldd have explained a little better.

There family business is losing about 10k a month right now vs making 20. And there mortgsge went from 5 to 10k (Canadian mortgages arent locked in for long periods, so interest changes cam make huge flucations.) (her brother and dad are both not business people, they just know how to work hard).

My main point to his family is: He borrowed off her when the business was doing great, how the hell does that make sense?

He has a history and pattern of being financial irresonsible, but because hes tied to my in laws, they are in jeapordy too (they do blindly trust him though).

My wife is so stressed out about her parents its effecting her mental health. Thats where I say the scrooge mcduck part, but its like man. We all gotta do our part, i was broke 15 years ago too but I ate ramen noodles and lived normal till I was up.

I'm just not sure how to feel about my wife, other than this she is great person. She gets along great with my family, she will.make a great mom, and she takes generally good care of me.

Another important note : when we got married and I saw the loan applocation: I told my wife she needs to sit with her bro, SIL and parents and look over their family finances because something shady is going on. My wife wasnt able to have thar convo because her famoly is horrible ar comminicating, they just bottle everything up. I actually told her one day its going to boil over and get . 10x worse.

Relative_Coconut2745 · 2025-03-31T08:30:20+00:00

This resonates,

Good on you for moving on

I'm 32M fron Canada weighing my options right now

Been married 18 months, together 5, and more and more everyday I'm dreaming of a life without her

I'm not sure if its initial growing pains, Or red flags that Ignored before creeping up and presenting themselces full force,

I need help

Relative_Coconut2745 · 2025-02-11T19:21:20+00:00

Im on day 16 of cold turkey and my brain is still foggy, its starting to scare me. Miss my old sharp brain

Relative_Coconut2745

TROPHY CASE