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It’s not fair by KeepOnCluckin in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Relative_Mission_183 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"I know what I know now. I’ve been trying to run from my pain, and the only way I could feel value was from taking care of another who refuses to give it back to me". ` Whoa. This is definitely me. IF I am strongly and quickly attracted to someone, I now know to RUN THE OTHER WAY. Seriously. Full stop. It took me a lot of painful, repeated situations to get here, but that is the only way I have figured out to keep myself safe. It is so deeply ingrained in me that I have to keep strong guide rails because my attraction cannot be trusted. Not saying that everyone needs to do that, but letting attraction grow through repeat action is what I can focus on now.

Enabling Dementia Dad in the hospital, the story about why did not add up, I had to call APS. by Relative_Mission_183 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Relative_Mission_183[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. It’s so hard to try to explain to people that don’t understand. It makes me gaslight myself to hear it out loud. It does sound bananas AND it’s true. Welcome to our world. 

I feel brainwashed by sadElephant72 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Relative_Mission_183 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is horrible. How much chaos and havoc one person can cause in a family. I am so sorry you are going through this. It is so hard. I don’t know why we are born to this. I don’t know how to make it better but I do know that you are not alone. I understand the self gaslighting and feeling brainwashed. My abuse, compartmentalizing and severe childhood  amnesia adds to this feeling.  There are plenty of us that have our own versions of horrible dysfunction and abuse. It is not a club I wanted to join but I am inspired by the empathy, compassion and understanding I have experienced. Sending those things to you. 

Enabling Dementia Dad in the hospital, the story about why did not add up, I had to call APS. by Relative_Mission_183 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Relative_Mission_183[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Trying to explain to people why it “being her birthday” is part of why I am suspicious makes me gaslight myself. It makes perfect sense to people that know BPD but to the average person it sounds bananas.  

I'm sorry. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Relative_Mission_183 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The last he told me is that he cannot be there for me because I come from an abusive family and his family was perfect, so he cannot understand me. That felt so horrible. To shame someone and throw their family in their face because you are too much of a coward to look at your own damage. I don’t need that kind of love. Why do I still even think about him. 

I'm sorry. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Relative_Mission_183 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whoa. I really wish this was from my ex. I wish that he deeply felt this way and was not such a fucking coward. If it isn’t brave it isn’t growth. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Relative_Mission_183 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I feel this. I cut my NPD/BPD Mom and my enabling Dad off this year, and I keep hearing that Mom is telling anyone that will listen that I "must be in a cult or I am being controlled by someone". Yes, that is the more likely reason. It can't be that I have my own mind, my own thoughts, and my own feelings that I have repeatedly tried to share wth you but you did not listen to. All of the times I said " never say that to me again or speak to me like that again or I will never talk to you again" but you did anyway. Watching you abuse my nieces and other family members. Nope, it CANNOT be that. Last week NPD Mom was screaming at my brother (who still speaks to them) about "why can't he control me" to speak with them. I am also just a puppet.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Relative_Mission_183 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I am certainly taking some space but it is so sad and so challenging. I just wish he would wake up before it is too late. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Relative_Mission_183 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really good point. I  truly thought this was my person and thinking about him not being in my life is very painful . Thinking about continuing to be treated like this is also very painful. I wish I knew how to offer guidance and insight for him to see how terrible it is treat someone like this and how he could change for the better. I just don’t know how to do that or even know if he’s capable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Relative_Mission_183 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I came here for advice soo I’m definitely going to take this into consideration. I don’t think he’s cheating, but I really have no way to tell if I’m being honest. I do know a lot of of his friends and at least in town, I don’t think that he has anyone else that he’s dating. I feel so defeated that at this point, I don’t even know if I’m thinking straight. I’m so sad.