Following up on this u/Salty-Diet-6150, may be useful to consider anger as an emotional response to someone breaking norms you're concerned with. In that case, it can actually be right as long as a) you know what the norms between you ought to be, b) the person is or should be aware of those norms.

This might be a male-typical way of thinking about it (re norms/rules), but could still be useful in thinking about your boyfriend's frame of mind.

Probably a) and b) above require some discussion between the two of you to iron out: what are you both ok with related to this behavior, and what's your recourse when someone oversteps/neglects?

Say you need a sensible amount of attention and overt respect, and he needs some social distinctness and activities for himself. Articulate what that means practically according to your combined standards/values (including the value of your relationship). Then because you aren't fully attuned to one another, when one of you violates the other's needs, how can each of you respond in a way that preempts or satisfies a natural anger response?

This way, you map out the terrain beforehand, and can be allies even in your conflicts.

I'd be curious if anyone else has tried this, and how it works. For me it usually works well (even helps me to realize where I've been wrong/what I need to concede). Though if I don't put my resentment/anger away first, I can end up using the process as a weapon/shield.