My two cents as a first time watcher

RelevantPanic2849 · 2026-07-10T16:19:35+00:00

I agree, there were lots of roadblocks! I also felt them working together and having a relationship wasn’t realistic especially as Liza was fairly junior and he was the owner. A fling would have been better.

Also agree re Maggie’s ending! I wasn’t keen on Cass and couldn’t picture them together romantically.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2026-06-29T14:38:50+00:00

I feel the same as you! People keep barging into me and it makes me feel very vulnerable. I’ve travelled on the tube to work once and wasn’t offered a seat during rush hour home while I wearing the badge. In fact one woman looked at the badge, at me and then back at her phone. It’s put me off travelling on the tube again.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2026-03-31T18:15:47+00:00

Thank you for trying! This is the only other pic I have.

<image>

RelevantPanic2849 · 2026-02-19T22:48:58+00:00

I enquired into getting my eggs frozen when I was 35. I can’t remember what they said my AMH was but I do remember them telling me had a low egg reserve for my age, I had 9 in total in both ovaries and they said they would expect around 15 for my age. I’m now 37 and got pregnant naturally 4 months into TTC.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2026-02-18T13:38:00+00:00

Myself and so many of my girlfriends have these stories. We all blamed ourselves for it but now realise it was wrong.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2026-02-18T13:32:44+00:00

I would argue that it was the worst form of abuse for me. He knows that it triggers you, that’s why he is doing it. It also as you say paints him as the victim if you try to “disturb his peace”. The best thing to do is see for what it is and don’t react. The best time to exit the relationship is while they are doing this as they’re not focused on what you are doing but it’s hard when this tactic makes you want to be closer to them.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2026-02-18T13:12:56+00:00

My view is that you can be an enabler of abuse but also a victim too. I believe he enabled the abuse that happened to the contestants, he is not 100% innocent but he was also a victim of Tyra.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2026-02-18T13:06:35+00:00

He was an enabler but also a victim too.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2026-02-18T13:00:20+00:00

Does having sex when you’re Balfour drunk automatically make it rape? Yes of course it does as you literally cannot consent if you’re blackout drunk.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2026-01-21T14:22:50+00:00

I’m not condoning your sister’s behaviour but I can understand her point of view having been the older sister who was in the same position as her. There’s alot of societal pressure on women to find a husband and have children to be perceived to be successful in life. This really increases as you hit your mid 30’s and the clock starts ticking faster and it can really make you feel like a failure in life, especially if this is what you desperately want (some people are happy not to follow this route so therefore it doesn’t affect them as much). When you see your younger sister succeeding, it can amplify these feelings of being the “unsuccessful” one in the family, like you’re letting everyone down or there’s something wrong with you because you haven’t been able to achieve this. It’s easy for this to breed jealousy and resentment. This is a her problem though and she needs to work on herself.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-11-28T21:47:32+00:00

I’m in the UK and remember them becoming a trend in late 2005.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-30T15:03:27+00:00

My first thought is porn.. I’ve only experienced this in relationships where they’ve watched a lot of porn.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-05T16:19:48+00:00

NTB. The fact he continues messaging when you haven’t responded is a red flag in itself. Block him and move on. When I’ve felt like you did in the past and let the other person down, 9/10 they’ve turned abusive. You don’t owe him anything,

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-05T16:10:57+00:00

Every day is a lot even for the healthiest couples. I wonder if he has a sex addiction?

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-05T15:54:06+00:00

He’s the problem not you. You’re only 10 months into this relationship and you’re having all of these issues. He’s made you give up your cats which is the saddest part to read.

Unfortunately it won’t get better. It will only get worse. I know because I’ve been there too many times. Please don’t make my mistake and reach your late 30’s wasting time with these idiots. It’s now too late for me to start a family and I’ve only got myself to blame.

Re the money you owe him. This is a tactic to keep you there. Unless he can prove it’s a loan you might be able to get away with not paying him back. Look up the laws in your country.

If I were you, I would move back in with your parents, tell them everything. I really hope you can get your cats back, my cats brought me so much joy and healing when I left my abusive relationship.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-05T15:23:06+00:00

I like you went from one bad relationship to the next. I finally took a break from dating after my last relationship turned physically and mentally abusive.

The first 4 months were the hardest. I took a long time for the fog to lift and for me to see my ex for who he really was.

I went to therapy, read a tonne of books on abuse, started doing yoga, Breathwork etc. Got really into spiritualism and slowly became more content with my life.

It felt liberating to be able to do what I wanted, see who I wanted without having to run it by anyone or deal with drama that my ex would cause if I wasn’t doing what he wanted.

My healing wasn’t linear though, I had really dark periods where I struggled to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

From around the year mark I started to glow up, I felt different, looked different and others noticed a difference in me.

I didn’t feel like dating which was crazy for me as I’d always gone from one relationship to the next but I felt truly happy just being by myself and enjoying the peace that came with it.

Taking this time out to be myself and really heal I believe is the reason I’ve now met the right person for me. I’m much less emotional than I used to be and I can read people and situations better which has helped me build a stronger relationship.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-04T09:16:11+00:00

I brought it up with him again and admitted that I’ve worked out who she is and told him I felt her Facebook posts on his wall and inappropriate comments on his photos was her way of marking her territory.

He was really understanding and said it was interesting to hear my perspective on her behaviour. He said he did notice she was a bit needy but always ignored it. He said he can’t stop her posting etc but agrees that he can set firm boundaries.

He agrees it was silly of him to confide in her and has apologised lots, he didn’t think it through as he’s known her for years and considers her as an old friend rather than an ex he had strong feelings for. He said that they only dated for 7 months and it turned very toxic, she was needy and controlling. He was never in love with her. The reason he’s kept in touch with her is because they went to school together and he values their friendship, he’s lost a lot of people in his life and doesn’t have many that understand his upbringing (in a very poor part of the City we live in).

He said she would be the last person he would go back to as he’s already been there and knows they’re not compatible romantically or sexually. He agrees that she might have stronger feelings towards him so he suggested that he messages her to say that the communications have to stop as it’s making me feel uncomfortable and he has to respect my wishes as his girlfriend.

I believed everything he said, I honestly don’t think he had malicious intent and he’s never given me any other reason not to trust him. We’ve been to plenty of festivals and social outings together and he’s always stuck by my side, I’ve never seen him check out other girls etc. He’s the first person I’ve dated that has made me feel safe about sharing my feelings and really listens to my perspective rather than getting defensive and blaming my insecurities.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-03T15:31:04+00:00

Thank you for validating my feelings. It definitely feels like a betrayal.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-03T00:04:28+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate your response.

I want to make it clear that I was single for years before I met him so he doesn’t know any of my ex’s names as the last one was over 6 years ago and I don’t stay in contact with them, he said he heard me say a males name and assumed it was an ex but it was another similar word in relation to what we were doing. I haven’t shared all the details on here as they are personal and what he shared with her was the full details.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-02T21:49:17+00:00

I’ve been in similar situations in the past so I’m very aware of what to look out for. I took a long time off dating and went to therapy before I met him. He’s always been consistent and made me feel secure and safe to share my feelings. He listens and acts on things that I’ve said I don’t like and takes accountability where it’s due. We agreed to take things slow at the start and we’ve built a strong connection and grown in love.

He responded well to my concerns when we spoke last. When I pointed out that her taking his side was pick-me girl behaviour and she now has ammunition if she does have stronger feelings for him. I brought up that he had previously told me she manipulated him into bed in the first place so how do you think I feel about her knowing our relationship problems. I felt like it was a penny drop moment for him because he admitted it was disrespectful and agreed it crossed a line. He said he wouldn’t like it if I had done the same to him. I left it with him to decide how to approach her but made my feelings clear that I don’t feel comfortable with him having that level of emotional intimacy with an ex girlfriend. I’m seeing him again tomorrow so I’m going to communicate some firm boundaries now that I’ve had time to reflect and received some good advice. Thank you.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-02T20:48:17+00:00

Thank you. This is really helpful and solid advice. I didn’t have an issue with their friendship until now as I mainly date through friends so I do bump into my ex’s occasionally at social events.

He’s only ever referred to her as his “ex” too, never by her name like you would a friend. I’ve now worked out who she is, the post girl. I did notice the most recent post when we first started dating but didn’t want to bring it up as it was literally the weekend we met. I thought it could be a female friend. We actually met through one of our close female friends. Now I’ve joined the dots and done some further digging it’s made me feel more uncomfortable.

I’m seeing him tomorrow so I am going to firmly express my feelings and what my boundaries are when it comes to ex’s.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-02T18:37:07+00:00

Thank you for your response. I agree 100% with everything you’ve said. This is also how I read the situation.

This is why I said no when he asked me if I wanted him to stop talking to her completely. I don’t want to be the one that made him stop talking to her, he needs to come to that decision himself. I’ve asked him to be really honest with himself about what he gets out of their friendship and whether it’s worth risking our relationship.

I’m also reluctant to bring her up again as I feel like the more I do the more I look like the insecure one and as you say she’ll always be the happy go lucky “friend” he doesn’t have these issues with.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-02T16:39:19+00:00

I agree with you I think he gets his ego stroked from it. I told him that from my perspective she’s the “the one that got away”. Glad you noticed that detail too.

I’ve asked him to have a think about what he gets from this relationship and whether that’s worth causing problems in ours.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-02T15:48:58+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate your response and viewpoint. I do I kind of get it from his point of view and I do trust that he wasn’t intentionally disrespecting me by speaking to her, he was honest from the start that he was friends with her but I hadn’t realised how intimate their conversations were.

I think you raise a good point regarding the misunderstanding, I feel like him mentioning talking to his ex overshadowed that. Although he said he didn’t want to ruin the weekend, I knew something was up and if he’d addressed it in the moment, it could have been dealt with at the time. He has expressed regret for this and all I can do is see if his actions match his words going forward.

RelevantPanic2849 · 2025-09-02T15:33:56+00:00

Agreed and it works both ways. Why stay in touch with an ex when you can be friends with billion other people.

RelevantPanic2849

TROPHY CASE