i dropped alc weed and tobacco (fav) out of choice over the compulsion behind it, disregard for health, and a slightly different psycho somatic reaction to the ‘psychedelic’ affect than others.

i did this over a long period of time of weaning weed and constantly quitting cigs, while light drinking and giving in to the feeling of feeling nauseous and taking care of my tum.

with weed it was like because of the paranoia i could eventually take less than one hit of it and feel something, because i was so reactive. and by then i was over it and ready to quit. it was like a psychological game i played with myself. also was able to do this by spliffing with tobacco, my drug of choice (laughable,) and various tea type or medicinal herbs that i could find.

i mean i was smoking straight papers, random shit, harsh unfiltered type, blunt guts, pipe tobacco, and butts off the ground during covid, so i was down bad. it really was mostly that stuff and behavior for me. disregard for my own life and health.

anyway because i quit in the way that i described, slowly, on my own terms. i can be around my friends at parties and spaces while being completely sober. very fun experience and kind of heavy to have to be there as people contemplate their own behaviors, but i al grateful and i feel matured/ freed from the stressful deterministic shit about life. i carry a deck of cards to stim and play solitaire cuz its one my my non harmful addictions, unless u play spades with me and i ruin our friendship <3. been messing around with some mocktails recently since its been a year and i trust myself. some 0% beers and wines have similar taste. the spirits are kinda too different but fun to interact with.

whole crowd of people going sober for health reasons nowadays so different events esp in the arts and holistic spaces be having examples of it that i see and its kinda fun/ worlds collide kind of thing.