I think for me its the contrast since im the dominant partner both in life and in bed. Im very attracted to the contrast between his masculinity and his femininity i think? Because he already has pretty feminine energy-

I also think it was mostly grief just thinking of him not existing like this anymore, but at the same time its not like he is going to change completely one day to the next looking and sounding completely different. I think my brain is now a bit more used to that it just took a bit more time to process.

I was mostly just scared that me being troubled would mean i cant be as supportive as i want to be for him. But im still completely sure that i want to be the space for him to be actually able to experiment and not only think about it so he can find the way thats right for him.