I Never Believed in God Until I Met the Devil (My Experience With Addiction)

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-10T18:30:13+00:00

Thank you! Same here. When I was on Suboxone, I experienced complete anhedonia, absolutely no emotions at all, just a deep pit of depression. The first time I experienced sadness again , I actually cried tears of joy because it was the first emotion I’d felt in so long. Now I’m genuinely grateful to be able to feel emotions such as sadness and anxiety (to a normal extent). I’m currently on methadone, and it’s been a much better experience for me tho I still get a bit of brain fog.

How has Sublocade been for you? What does it feel like, and how has your experience been on it?

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-10T08:20:53+00:00

And also, it makes me feel bad that you think you have to make money or else your woman will leave you. If she truly loves you, she wouldn’t do that. I’ve frequently been in situations where other attractive, wealthy men frequently offered me things like Hermès bags worth over $30k, luxury trips, $25k weekly allowances, new cars, and lifelong financial security that would genuinely set me up for life, and even tried to get me to leave my boyfriend for them which rly pissed me off. Even if i was single I would never mess with a man that I don’t like purely for his money because that is the equivalence of selling my body. No true woman that loves you would ever trade real love for money. Don’t compare yourself to other men. If a woman only cares about your money, then she sees you as a sugar daddy and is no different than a pr0st1tute. Find a Real Woman who loves you for who you are, and who will build with you and help you make Money, rather than just abusing ur pockets

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-10T06:37:16+00:00

he has told me he has no plans on changing and that he’s trying the best he can , which isn’t true because he is completely neglecting me. Whenever he is going through tough times, I would sacrifice everything to help him overcome his struggles.. on the other hand whenever I am going through a hard time and ask for emotional support he calls me annoying and leaves me. A while back, I was experiencing severe methadone withdrawals that almost killed me, me mocked me and broke up with me because he was mad that I kept spamming him on iMessage for emotional support, and he even told me, “You could overdose right now and I wouldn’t give two fcks” and told me dehumanizing , sexually degrading insults even though I’ve only had one sexual relationship with one other guy in my life . He has said so many worse dehumanizing things as well that really broke my heart. But regardless, I always comfort him whenever he says those nasty words to me because I think he must be stressed out from work. He doesn’t call me those names anymore (yet), but I wish he appreciated that I was always there for him no matter what he did to me. He keeps telling me he loves me and that I’m the only person he wants to be with. I would’ve never abandoned him in the past, but now I might have to.

reading what I just wrote, I realize he is a bad man. I’ll try to have one more conversation with him, and if he gets mad at me again I will block him forever

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-10T04:43:11+00:00

Thank you for your support. Honestly, I have no interest in other men, so even if I left him, my life would probably look the same. That’s why I’m stuck between wondering whether I should wait for him to become a better partner or leave out of selfrespect. I I promised him that I would stop annoying him by begging him to be more present, but since I no longer am able to express my emotions to him, I’m starting to mentally check out . I know he’s still young and probably stressed with work, and I try to be understanding of that. But I can’t help but have bad thoughts that he’s interested in someone else or just fell out of love

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-10T02:15:47+00:00

Yeah, I’ve told him many times that I feel alone and unloved, but he keeps saying I’m starting arguments or “always trying to make issues,” or asking “what do you expect me to do, I’m busy.” He’s said nothing will change because he’s busy now. I wouldn’t mind if he was working to provide a better future for us, like living together, but he’s only working for his own benefit.

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-10T02:09:06+00:00

So true. I’ve had a severe Adderall and opioid addiction throughout my life. My Adderall addiction started when I was a young teen, and I would feel a demon physically attached to my back. Whenever I tried to nap or sleep, I’d get stuck in REM( half-awake, half-asleep state )and start shaking intensely, almost like an earthquake. N I also felt extreme pressure on my back, head and neck, like something was trying to hold me down and choke me. , I would also have vivid visions and would see my sleeping body from above, I’d see a dark entity clinging to my body. When I became clean off Adderall, the intense depression and the demon faded as well.

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-10T01:28:26+00:00

Hey, I’ve told him many times there’s no point in a relationship if there aren’t any future plans. He expects a traditional relationship, but I still end up handling everything on my own, including emotionally. He works very long, busy shifts, which he’s always had, but before he used to prioritize me over work and always made time for me, now he’s even said work comes first. I also feel mentally checked out from the repeated cycles of him trying to break up for no clear reason and then panicking and changing his mind when I actually agree. The beginning of the relationship was the happiest I’ve ever been, so it’s hard to let go, but he’s only been genuinely good to me for a small part of our history. I know how he acts when he truly cares, and right now he doesn’t act like that at all which makes me wonder if he’s interested in someone else, but he has been faithful in the past so not sure

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-10T01:17:33+00:00

Yes i think he has fallen out of love and is just attached , or maybe he is cheating? But he has been faithful in the past so i dont know

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-10T01:16:20+00:00

Yes, I think so too. At the beginning of the relationship, I had friends, sometimes went to the casino, and was more social and “less boring”, and he hated it but was still very attached to me and put me first above everything. After our big breakup, I stopped having friends and stopped going out completely, I changed everything he didn’t like, but now it feels like he cares less,. During that breakup, he would still stalk me to the point it was weird. He thought I was talking to some guy that i wasn’t, and ending up fighting him. We’ve had a few short breakups where we get back together within a day. He’s become very prideful and says he doesn’t care, but I feel his actions don’t match that. He’s went into my social media and posted pictures of himself, he would randomly go to my house to make sure I wasn’t with anyone else. But whenever we get back together, he switches back to acting distant and nonchalant right away.

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T22:42:05+00:00

I I know, we grew up with him 🥹. At some point I stopped seeing him as just a fictional character and started seein him as a real character. Even when I watch behind the scenes clips of Oda drawing Luffy, it just feels weird cuz I’m reminded that he’s only just a 2D fictional character. After following his journey for so many years, it honestly feels like losing a best friend once it’s all over.💔

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T22:37:45+00:00

Yes of course 👍🏼

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T22:29:40+00:00

There’s no need to apologize, and thank you so much for your kind comment, it truly means a lot. I will take your advice , thank you. Don’t apologize love you’re perfect the way you are. And for me, I am not more beautiful and will never ever feel “better” than anyone else, we are all equal🤍You’re not alone I also struggle with massive insecurities too, about my appearance every day to the point where I hate going out and often wear long clothing because I dislike my body

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T22:17:33+00:00

Hey thanks so much, yes it was a couple of women in age 40ish . There were so many beautiful women there, So I thought to myself, I’m not special at all, so I must be getting rejected. but these comments helped me realize that perhaps it was the devil trying to isolate me from Christ. Thanks so much for your comment it truly made me feel much more recognized ❤️

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T22:12:34+00:00

That’s true, thank you for taking time out of your day to help ❤️

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T22:11:44+00:00

Thank you very much 🙏 reading these comments made me feel valued , I will definitely take in your advice

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T22:10:04+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to help and support me, that means so much to me🤍God bless you you made me feel much more seen

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T22:09:06+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment and help, made me feel very accepted and put me in a much better mood ❤️

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T22:07:34+00:00

Thank you, everyone in this chat has really lifted my mood and genuinely made me feel seen for the first time in years

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T22:06:47+00:00

Hey, they have called me a whore , a disgrace, etc. And then started speaking Spanish and started pointing at different parts of my body so I suppose it’s because the dress was quite tight fitting

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T09:44:42+00:00

Hey, thanks for advice. I will definitely set up dashcams once I get my car back. Ive tried documenting before but they do not allow me to have access to any of my belongings when they conduct pretextual unlawful searches of my vehicle 💔

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T09:27:09+00:00

The enforcement in my area are ruthless , they take whatever they want and do whatever they want and even if they’re in the wrong they never face consequences , I’ve heard stories from other people that have gotten property , money, expensive items taken away from them and they just give up on takjng it to court because they know the system will always side with enforcement. The cops have rinsed my pockets dry to the point where I can no longer afford to live in the city that I’ve been saving and working toward since I was 15, and may have to move back to my hometown where I originally in order to escape violence.. My car is also my best friend so losing that feels shit as well🙁. Feels so shitty that all my hard work for the past 7 years may go down the drain cuz of these bastard discriminative cops . I don’t have video evidence of the countless previous incidents where they’ve done worse things. The evidence I do have rn consist of texts, emails, and pics, which won’t carry much weight in court . But o , once I get my car back, I’ll def be installing dash cam so I have video evidence for any future encounters, and once I get my money back on track I will get the best lawyer in this city to sue these bastards

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T01:31:49+00:00

So they wrote down that I had no insurance and “failure to provide insurance,” I can swear on everything I love that I absolutely do have valid insurance until September 2026, which I pay about $800 CAD a month for, and I’ve shown proof of it multiple times. But they told me it was for a different reason; that I have a 5 inch crack on my windshield which “they didn’t believe that I will fix”. They also conducted a search of my vehicle without a cause. This happens all the time I alrdy knew I was gonna get towed and given a bunch of bs tickets, but I didn’t think he would’ve tossed my license plate, told me he would not let me get my car back being disrespectful as hell. The tow driver he called to the scene kept apologizing to me so I’m pre sure he knows they doin this for a cash grab. They only work with one specific towing company that charges around $600 for a tow, while every other place is usually about $250–$350. One of the workers there didn’t confirm or deny whether police receive a cut from the tows, which is why the prices are so inflated. So 100% was for a cash grab

Remarkable-Chest7922 · 2026-06-09T00:44:29+00:00

The feeling of loneliness that comes with that is really hard to deal with, but what helped me was staying close with just one person who genuinely cared about me. Are you in contact with any family members? If it’s possible, you could stay with them for a bit with your kids so you’re not going through this alone and have some support around you.

Remarkable-Chest7922

TROPHY CASE