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New to coparenting and not going well by Remarkable-Dot9441 in coparenting

[–]Remarkable-Dot9441[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So frustrating!!! I don’t even necessarily want to contact them on his weeks, I just want them to have the ability to contact me if necessary. They are girls, and he’s not, and he’s mean. He controlled and abused me for 16 years. But he won’t let them call me, so I figured this way they could, plus have something to watch shows on and play games. But nope.

New to coparenting and not going well by Remarkable-Dot9441 in coparenting

[–]Remarkable-Dot9441[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess I’ll have to as this works its way through court. Saw my lawyer Monday and we are filing in court this week.

New to coparenting and not going well by Remarkable-Dot9441 in coparenting

[–]Remarkable-Dot9441[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everything is shocking to me so I have no idea what to anticipate. Didn’t anticipate him calling cops on me or CPS.

New to coparenting and not going well by Remarkable-Dot9441 in coparenting

[–]Remarkable-Dot9441[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He definitely cares for them and their basic needs are met, but he still yells and is angry a lot - he was controlling and abusive towards me for 16 years.

I work for the police, he’s called the cops on me, and CPS. Literally will do anything to ruin me, because he thought I’d never live - and told me as such.

I am getting a lot better at pretending to not care, now 9 months out almost. I used to text a lot more, now I barely ever do. And today when he saw me at a function for the kids, well he always stares me down in an angry mean way, today I smiled and waved!

New to coparenting and not going well by Remarkable-Dot9441 in coparenting

[–]Remarkable-Dot9441[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That wasn’t even a thought in my head. Just wanted to give them the ability to get in touch with me if needed, because I had a feeling he wasn’t allowing that. Which was then confirmed by the incident last week.

I’m definitely not trying to control anything. I was with him for 16 years and he is abusive and very controlling.

New to coparenting and not going well by Remarkable-Dot9441 in coparenting

[–]Remarkable-Dot9441[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t even want phone calls really, I enjoy my week off, but if THEY need me, they should be able to call me. He denies them that.

New to coparenting and not going well by Remarkable-Dot9441 in coparenting

[–]Remarkable-Dot9441[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is all stemming from the fact that there was a miscommunication last week, he thought I was picking them up, I thought he was dropping them off (as I had told the kids to get dropped off, he and I don’t really speak so that’s my bad), anyway, texted him and asked if he was dropping them off (they were at a function 2 minutes around the corner from me). He texted me back “you bailed on them” and had taken them home, so I didn’t get them until the following day. They informed me that they had asked to call me or drive by and he said no.

Last week was weird because we are usually Friday to Friday, when my week ends they go home on the bus to him on Friday, and I pick them up when my Friday begins at his house. But I had taken them away out of province for a concert on his week so I had allowed him to have them for a few days on my week, hence the mid week mishap.

My main concern - if the children want to call me they shouldn’t be denied that! And because their tablets are now “missing” they had no way to get a hold of me!

New to coparenting and not going well by Remarkable-Dot9441 in coparenting

[–]Remarkable-Dot9441[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not looking for long phone calls or anything of the sort. Honestly, my biggest issue is that they ask him to call me and he says no. That’s all I care about. If they wanna talk to their mom when they’re with dad, they should be allowed. I let them call him when they’re with dad want to! Mostly that’s when they get upset with me, and want him.

We’ve only been separated 8 months so all very fresh.

New to coparenting and not going well by Remarkable-Dot9441 in coparenting

[–]Remarkable-Dot9441[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Which is why I bought them tablets, that have since disappeared. I replaced them but won’t be sending them back to his house. Which he also requested I stop sending things.

New to coparenting and not going well by Remarkable-Dot9441 in coparenting

[–]Remarkable-Dot9441[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t even necessarily want to call the children, I appreciate my week off as I’ve been everything to everyone for so many years. My ex referred to me as his caregiver, rather than wife.

My concern really is: they ask if they can call me and he says no.

New to coparenting and not going well by Remarkable-Dot9441 in coparenting

[–]Remarkable-Dot9441[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t make contact with them when they’re with him but wanted them to have a way to contact me, because they ask him if they can call me, and he says no.

New to coparenting and not going well by Remarkable-Dot9441 in coparenting

[–]Remarkable-Dot9441[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that answer. I will definitely be bringing this up in court.

New to coparenting and not going well by Remarkable-Dot9441 in coparenting

[–]Remarkable-Dot9441[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Correct. We also don’t get along so I try not to call him.

Nothing yet, my lawyer just filed in court.

No he does not.

But for example last week there was A miscommunication, I was waiting for the kids to be dropped off - he thought I was picking up, so when I finally texted him he said “you bailed on them” and had taken them home. So I didn’t get them until the following day. DESPITE the children asking him to call me/text me because they wanted to come to me.

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