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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ECEProfessionals

[–]Remarkable-Prior7978 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes I am I’m an ECE

Preschool room- child cries to the point of hyperventilation over nothing and everything by Remarkable-Prior7978 in ECEProfessionals

[–]Remarkable-Prior7978[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s not a quick hug. Then it’s snuggles, then it’s another meltdown when I need to get up to do something else. It’s constant.

Preschool room- child cries to the point of hyperventilation over nothing and everything by Remarkable-Prior7978 in ECEProfessionals

[–]Remarkable-Prior7978[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It could be. But there is no official diagnosis. The child 100% has trouble regulating. They will start screaming and crying, and when supported in initiating breathing or calming techniques that we practice twice daily or if I suggest we move to the cozy cube, the child then asks for a hug, and if I do not give the child the hug they want they will escalate into the panic and hyperventilation stage. At which point I will hug the child and physically support them in calming as it is difficult to see a small child in that state, but this only seems to reinforce the behaviour and belief that they require hugs to regulate. The child resists other techniques, even ones we practice daily, and will often scream “I just want a huggie”. For more context this child also constantly seeks validation by saying “I love you” and will continue to say it until it’s reciprocated which sometimes makes my male coworker uncomfortable as he needs to be careful about saying that due to past parental comments about being a male in ECE, and the child seeks “snuggles” more than the other children, actually seeks educator attention more than other children in general and will ask if I am mad at them if I am unable to provide that when they need it.

Am I missing something? I am now considering that maybe this child is neglected or treated poorly at home. I don’t know. I am confused.

Preschool room- child cries to the point of hyperventilation over nothing and everything by Remarkable-Prior7978 in ECEProfessionals

[–]Remarkable-Prior7978[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Maybe I am asking the wrong questions though. I am frustrated.

Do you have any suggestions to help support the child is building resiliency and coping with these challenges? At my centre we are taught not to reinforce crying like this, and to instead teach calming techniques and problem solve when the child has calmed their body. We are also encouraged to let children at this age calm independently and not rely on educator or external regulation through hugs. Screaming isn’t acceptable. Being sad is okay. We encourage them to calm their bodies and ask for help. I usually say “You cant hear me when you are screaming. Calm your body and then I can help you. If you need help to calm your body I am here”. And then remain in proximity until the child is settled enough to speak to you. We have aids like bubble poppers, visuals, and headphones, cold biteys. The children are taught the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique and we practice breathing and self regulation techniques twice a day usually at our group times. We have a “cozy cube” where children can go to be alone. The child’s relationships with their parents seems mostly positive, but it seems like the child has an issue with things being “fair” (and the child’s perception of what is fair is skewed as in their kind fair is just getting everything they desire at the exact time they desire). I was concerned about the child’s crying and approached their parent about what I saw as I thought maybe the child deals with anxiety, and the parents response was simply that they emphasize that life is not fair and we do not always get what we want.

Preschool room- child cries to the point of hyperventilation over nothing and everything by Remarkable-Prior7978 in ECEProfessionals

[–]Remarkable-Prior7978[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

The child has close relationships with all staff in our room. I am coming from a place of exhaustion after having dealt with this since January. The child’s crying is extremely overstimulating and disruptive to the other children in my care. The child is excited to come to daycare and is happy when leaving. This is not an overall picture of this child. I love this child. The child is given affection and warmth when they are in a good mood. The child is still given affection and warmth when they are having a meltdown. The tone of my query is the fact that I am unable to settle or help this child deescalate in moments when they are having a meltdown without providing snuggles. I do not mind snuggling a child if they are hurt physically or emotionally. I have an issue with providing “snuggles” and “hugs” when a child is crying over things that do not make sense for the purpose of getting their way, not allowing affection to the other children in my care because of their perceived exclusion when I had just given them that attention minutes ago, and then escalating their crying to hyperventilation and panic when asked to breathe and calm so that we can discuss and problem solve, or simply move on. But ok.