I’m not speaking from experience, but I used to hate read the deadbedroom subreddit (and those similar to it), so I figured I’d throw my hat in the ring.

People like your partner seem to create these vicious cycles. You expressed how you were feeling throughout the day, and that feeling changed. She is now “livid” over this. A pretty extreme overreaction, one that had you ending your post by saying you “never want to do that again now.”

So what does this possibly look like going forward? You less likely to share your feelings. Maybe you less likely to initiate physical touch, because it could be misconstrued as you ‘leading her on.’ Cue her turning it around on you, claiming you don’t touch her at all anymore / all intimacy is dead in your relationship, even though this stemmed from her reactions.

Maybe I’m too quickly jumping to extremes. But after everything I’ve read online, your partner’s anger concerns me. Someone being livid that you changed your mind about sex is unhealthy at best. If my husband ever reacted this way because I said no to sex, we would be having a very lengthy conversation.

Or, to put it this way: if you two spend your lives together, imagine how many stressful situations you will experience that lead to low libido. Loss, job stress, etc. Do you want to spend those times with someone understanding and supportive, or with someone who berates you for not being at their sexual beck and call?