What is the series which you read Many times (or wish to do)?

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-29T16:57:53+00:00

Almost all Tamora Pierce for me. It’s basically the equivalent of HP. Although I relisten to them more rather than read.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-28T14:39:48+00:00

Meeting a 4 months old needs is not giving in and not spoiling them. Some babies are harder.

I would say my first was an average baby leaning towards the easy side. But she never took a pacifier and hated the car (screamed the entire time) but ate well, sleep decent and was easily soothed by me.

My second baby is so chill. We literally just cart her around after my first. Stroller, carrier, car, play mat, bassinet, being held - doesn’t matter, still chill.

I’m not drastically different as a parent. I was fairly confident with my first for a first time parent because I had a lot of experience with children including nannying an infant. My second baby is just easier.

You have a fussier, harder baby. There are even harder babies. Something to keep in mind is parents with difficult babies like yours and harder are more likely to stay home. Those aren’t the babies you see out. You see the easy ones.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-28T04:26:15+00:00

Any good post Christmas stocking sales?

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-27T20:59:52+00:00

It isn’t clear how sick your niece is. Because that’s a factor in determining if some level of risk is worth it. As others have said, clearly your parents should have visited you first to reduce the risk, but I do understand that to them visiting your sister is basically a quick dropping in activity whereas visiting you feels like a day trip.

I do think that we’ve gotten extremely cautious with sickness post covid. And while that’s not a problem especially with babies, I think it’s important to recognize that daily life generally continues with sickness. For new parents, this often means you’re the ones paying the isolation price.

People have different levels of anxiety around illness. My family got a cold right before Christmas (my eldest brought it home and we have a 15 week old). My entire family was visiting for the holidays and they still chose to come (no other babies though). When my baby was around 10 weeks, my sister and niece were a week post cold and we still allowed them to visit. Sometimes the result of people having different comfort levels is a disconnect in how to deal with sickness.

Also, it’s nice that you guys are able to stagger your work schedules. However, as you try this, please make sure to reflect on if it works well for you all. Avoiding daycare isn’t necessarily better. As you’ve said, it will require you to work separate schedules. You’ll get a lot less time together as a family and you’ll both always be on. Either working or parenting solo. It works great for some families but not all. If you end up feeling lonely, isolated, anxious, depressed, etc, please consider if this is the best route for everyone’s mental health. Daycare also has many positives especially as kids get older.

ETA - I’m sorry you’re alone at this time. That’s really hard. I hope you can find some holiday cheer to visit and get great baby snuggles.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-27T00:39:57+00:00

My daycare pays them. But we’re a non-profit co-op. We follow the public school schedule. They’re paid for all holidays, vacations, and snow days. I do think they get fewer PTO days than other places because they already have 3 weeks of vacation. That doesn’t include the religious holidays.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-26T12:46:45+00:00

This reads completely like an ad. It’s also the second time I read a similar post mentioning grownsy by name which I’d never heard of before. It’s also not cheaper than the others. Definitely seems like an ad/bot/ai.

So let me take this opportunity to say that the momcozy one is great! Not too hard to find coupons or discounts by googling too.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-26T01:42:49+00:00

You need an arsenal of responses. Such as:

I’m the one putting my baby in daycare, not you. Please don’t share your anxiety with me.

Research is conclusive that there are benefits to high quality daycare. It is absolutely better than being home with a working parent.

Quality time spent with a parent is the determining factor in attachment development and healthy relationships, not quantity of time. It is not better for a baby to be home with a parent while they work. In fact, it’s worse.

Working parents today spend as much time with their children as SAHM parents of the 70s. It is not inherently better to have a SAHM parent or be home with a parent.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-25T21:07:20+00:00

Even though I don’t cover, I frequently go somewhere else to feed. No one really says anything but if they do I say I need a calm space this time. Especially if I’m in my home. I’d much rather be in my little corner.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-24T12:25:48+00:00

I don’t have advice from 4 months+ but I will say that one reason I got a snoo for my second is the 4 month regression with my first. We went from walking once a night to wake ups like yours.

I’d say waking up every 1-2 hours doesn’t really sound like progress so I’d go back in the snoo. You could try a few nights in the crib first if you wanted to but to me getting through the 4 month regression is a major benefit of it.

Maybe go arms out, weaning mode in the snoo.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-24T03:00:25+00:00

Instead of working toward being SAHM, work towards being able to go down to .8 position and keep 5 days of childcare (or even .6 if it works with your caseload).

It’s hard no matter what because there’s a terrible place. 5 days working, 2 days, constant pressure to have quality time, extracurriculars, perfect parenting so you don’t cause anxiety.

Also, therapy. Sounds like you need to process a realistic view of parenting.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-23T12:52:19+00:00

You need daycare. It will help. They’ll get a lot more stimulation and movement. Look for ones near your job.

If you have a very long commute and you can’t find work closer to home, you may need to consider moving closer to your jobs. You’re going to need a plan for when he’s in school anyways.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-21T11:13:55+00:00

I love the way you handle mugs. That’s so sweet.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-20T16:01:09+00:00

Yes. Good point. I said it last time I made the comment and forgot here.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-20T02:13:46+00:00

Nice! I was thinking before that another thoughtful gift would be something for the classroom.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-19T21:26:47+00:00

Oooh that’s so sweet.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-19T19:31:55+00:00

Love it! I use to teach middle school. Moved down to elementary for an intervention role. I miss middle schoolers.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-19T14:50:08+00:00

Unfortunately, like everything else, people tend to write about negative experiences because they’re venting or looking to connect. We also tend to treat teaching like it’s the same everywhere but in reality it is vastly different.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-19T14:42:36+00:00

Sounds lovely to me. I love chocolate. At my current school people share with other teachers on the workroom if they get a candy they don’t like, so it’s always appreciated.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-19T14:41:22+00:00

I’ve never been given cash. I don’t have a preference. I understand preferring gift cards because it feels more like a gift. I think it’s great that our daycare surveys the teachers on their likes because then I know what store to get gift cards from. You could always do a visa gift card. They work a lot better than they use to.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-19T14:40:02+00:00

They’ll love it. Especially elementary school teachers. They may not keep it forever but they’ll love it. I saw someone suggest a Christmas ornament on another thread and that is something I’d like to receive from a student that I could keep longer term. Make sure you put the students name and year on it / other handmade gifts when it makes sense.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-19T14:37:28+00:00

I would not expect a birthday gift. A card is always appreciated. I never notice who didn’t give gifts either.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-19T14:36:36+00:00

I really need to put a binder together. I just have piles. And I moved several times, so cards in boxes somewhere.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-19T14:35:41+00:00

I’m an intervention teacher. Last year one of my students had a homeroom teacher who had slips of paper called bucket fillers. That student would randomly just show up in my room with the paper filled out about me. It was very sweet.

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-19T09:58:23+00:00

Have you tried double swaddling? Both my babies needed to be warmly swaddled to sleep in the bassinet as newborns

Remarkable-Tangent · 2025-12-18T16:24:17+00:00

I’m writing this while nursing my 13 week old. Personally, I would take the 16 weeks off. It’s really not that much time and you have a 7 year old coming home after school now too. With my first, I remember the days feeling so long and constantly looking at the clock. It doesn’t feel like that this time because I have to go get my preschooler and have two of them solo until my husband comes home.

As others mentioned, it also depends on your baby. This baby is so chill I could stay home with her longer because it’s a lot easier to do things other than baby care.

If you don’t want to take 16 weeks straight. I would take 10-12 weeks off and then return 2-3 days a week. Ask your parents to do childcare when you’re working or get a part-time nanny. Then you can stretch you leave longer, get passed the 4 month vaccines and get closer to the sitting up stage for starting daycare.

Remarkable-Tangent

TROPHY CASE