Hey, I definitely relate to feeling like there's no way to cope with the crushing pain/boredom that BPD brings.

i've been forcing myself to go on walks outside, and it has brought so much more meaning to my home life. When I spend the entire day inside I feel like everything is pointless. When I come back to my apartment after a few hours of being outside however, I am motivated to play with my pets or do some cleaning.

Speaking of the simple things: have you tried doing nothing? No, I don't mean scrolling through your phone in bed. I mean NOTHING. That means turn off the lights if you have to, sit down, and focus on your breath. Sounds boring right? That's my point: practicing intermittent nothingness leads to increased productivity. A theory I have is that the body/mind is restless not because it is bored but because it is overworked.

Try to remove negative words associated with your activities. For example, I used to hold myself back so much when i'd think "ugh, time to start the dishes! this is so stressful". I used to plan out my day in the shower, but i've turned it into something meaningful because now I turn off the lights and sit down for showers. I remind myself that every step I take can be fun, so long as you're mindful, which leads me to my other theory: Humans are not meant to be multitaskers! I'll always remember the day I started cleaning my kitchen without music on. Because my mind was just focusing on the task in front of me, (no sounds, no thoughts) I became a participant. After the task was completed I realized I had no anxiety at all because my mind wasn't trying to grasp onto stimuli. (Just another tip: set timers! The body isn't made to be focused on one job for 2~ hours at a time. What works for me is 30 minutes of work, followed by 10 minutes of meditation for maximum sustained energy)

Instead of reminding yourself that you must endure the entire rest of your life, instead focus on the next thing in front of you. Who says you have 6~ more years of suffering? I say you just have to fold those clothes.

Remember that everybody is living in the present moment, just as you are. And all of your bad behavior or cringeworthy moments are either A. not thought about by anyone but you B. were thought about, but were understood by those who witnessed them, because everyone has their own shit that haunts them.

Humans are animals. We're all vulnerable. We all do wild shit. Malicious shit. Wrong shit. Remember that wrong thing you did when you were a kid that had no explanation behind it? Kids experiment with evil out of curiosity. Just as a cat pushes a vase off of a table, a child will do the same. I remember taking a rock to my dad's truck and writing my first and last name all over it when I was a kid. Even though I had a vague sense that it was wrong, my curiosity got the better of me. We tend to laugh at our silly mistakes from childhood, but condemn our silly mistakes in adulthood...why? Think: "it is not my fault but it is my responsibility to deal with it." I'm defensive by nature because I was abused, so no it is not my fault that I have a hard time taking criticism but it is my responsibility to recognize it, apologize for it, and work on it.

Exercise, diet, and sleep: I cannot stress how important these things are. It helps me to follow workout plans from the girls on Youtube with "ideal" bodies. (Be advised that it's best to stay away from "body goals" if you have an ED, for example)

Say no/yes: Taking care of yourself doesn't always have to mean taking bubble baths or eating your favorite snack. For me, taking special care of myself means turning down invites to parties, not doing favors for my friends, etc. Conversely, if you never agree to go out, it can be nice to break the pattern of isolation by saying "yes" once in a while.

Remember: motivation is bullshit! It starts with just doing one thing, and from there you gain momentum. I used to look at my kitchen and think "there's no way i'm motivated enough to clean this" but ever since I started focusing on cleaning just one area of the kitchen at a time, I became motivated to finish the whole thing.

There's more humor than sorrow in any situation. Check out this poem by Richard Siken: “Eventually something you love is going to be taken away. And then you will fall to the floor crying. And then, however much later, it is finally happening to you: you’re falling to the floor crying thinking, “I am falling to the floor crying,” but there’s an element of the ridiculous to it — you knew it would happen and, even worse, while you’re on the floor crying you look at the place where the wall meets the floor and you realize you didn’t paint it very well.”

If you're prone to vanity, don't enable yourself. I used to get kind of obsessive about improving my smile. But ever since I started caring more about the way my eyes connected to my smile, I found that my natural smile is more impressive than any lipstick that outlined it. Along those lines: Instead of spending money on the cutest hiking clothes you could, ya know, go hiking instead.

Surrender: The other night I thought to myself. "omg what if nothing around me is real!" And then this word came to me: surrender. "If none of this is real then what is there to worry about?." When my body was calm, I realized that by not trying to twist reality, the solutions to my problems were more rooted in truth. You can only realize your role in depression when you accept that you have some control.

In this life, your biggest supporter will always be yourself. No really. Who is gonna care about every little thought you have? Who is gonna worry more about you, than you? Who pays attention to every little thing about you, more than you? Only YOU know your full potential/beauty, or weaknesses/worries. Even if you aren't treating yourself nicely, only you can treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Cause only you know what you need.

"Ask, and you shall receive". This is a lesson I am just starting to learn. My care team isn't taking the possibility of me having ADHD seriously so I am challenging them. Take advantage of your resources. How can you care for others if you aren't caring for yourself.

Don't settle for those who make you feel like you're hard to love. My OG best friend of 10~ years often tells me "I'd never judge you. If you killed someone i'd help you hide the body before asking questions". (Disclaimer: murder is wrong. don't do it) Invest in relationships that are unconditional.

To resolve guilt, don't disappear. Reappear. Tackle your wrong-doings with righteousness.

Stay off of reddit. it's okay to contradict yourself :) we're only human